Your NOISY Work is Bothering Me

Funny - Your Noisy Work is Bothering Me
So then…I complain to my friends, in a completely loving way, of course, that my husband simply sits in the family room watching TV while I clean the kitchen.

“I’m particularly noisy as I load the dishwasher – practically banging pots and pans – in the hopes that the noise will alert him that work is being done here! helllooo! – and that he should get up and come help,” I say.

Kate laughs at my naiveté.

Mindy nods in sympathy and takes a swig of her margarita.

Sherry says, “I do the same thing when I come home with the groceries and my husband is watching TV. I open the cabinets a little too hard, jerk open the drawers, crinkle the bags, and slam down the canned goods – all in the hopes that he’ll notice I’m putting away the groceries and could use some help.”

I ask, “So does he help?”

“No.” she says. “But he can’t hear the TV that well since I’m making so much noise in the kitchen. So every time this happens, he just tilts his head slightly, then slooooowly raises his arm to point the remote at the TV to increase the volume.”

“Oh my God! Seriously?” I ask.

“Yes,” Sherry says and laughs ruefully. “And what’s worse is that it never occurs to him that he’s rude for not helping me with the groceries! He actually thinks I’m being inconsiderate by making so much noise while he’s trying to watch TV! So he’s probably over there congratulating himself for not asking me to be quiet – and patting himself on the back for solving a pesky problem by just increasing the TV volume!”

Oh, dear. On that note, we all take a sip of our margaritas.

— Darcy Perdu

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(Do you ever do tasks in a NOISY way – or toss in a couple sighs – to inspire your spouse or kids to come help? Does it work? What are your family’s favorite ways to AVOID helping around the house or yard? Share in the Comments!)
Funny - Your Noisy Work is Bothering Me

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44 replies on “Your NOISY Work is Bothering Me

  1. Paul said:

    My attempts at soliciting help or hinting at chores undone, oft go astray. For example. it was a beautiful fall day and the front lawn was covered with freshly fallen leaves. It was my step-son’s chore to rake and bag the leaves and he had studiously avoided it and was off “shopping” with his mother and sister. (Ever know a 10 year old boy who wanted to go shopping? No? Me either.) I decided to give him a head start on his chore by doing the raking and leaving the bagging to him. So, I diligently cleared the lawn and made a big pile of leaves between the front door and the driveway. We lived in a semi-detached at the time, and our neighbor’s front entrance was also close to the pile. Once the pile was created I realized it was big enough for me to hide under (and I’m 6’3″ and 230 lbs), so I did. The kids and their Mom came driving in a few minutes later and as soon as I heard them get out of the car, I jumped out of the leaves and let out a big roar. The kids were startled at first and then laughed as hard as I did. Unbeknownest to me, our next door neighbor had simultaneously stepped out of his front door with his 3 year old grand-son by the hand. The excitment was a bit much for the young man and he froze and promptly relived himself right where he stood.

    Sigh. I apologized but our relarionship with our neighbor was never the same.

    • Paul! Thank you for making me laugh out loud this morning! That is hilarious!

  2. I have done that before and my wife will say “I said I would wash those later” and my response is “if you were going to do that, then it would have been done already”. I have no patience though to wait and see if it would get done or not.
    mike recently posted..Wordless Wednesday #2My Profile

    • ha! surprising that dish didn’t go flying through the air! :o)

  3. Mimi Gin said:

    I have also been known to use my cell phone directv app to make the tv mysteriously change channels…

  4. william kendall said:

    Rats. Our attempts at deception have failed!

    • you’ve been found out! now put down the remote and help us ladies with the chores! :o)

    • ha! don’t you want a couch potato of your very own? hee hee

  5. Ok, I have to ask here, what would happen if your husband did come out and start *helping* you with putting away the groceries? Would he put anything away in the spot where you always put it? Would he be in your way? Would he constantly ask you, “Where does this go?”. And would this annoy the shit out of you? Because my husband tries to help and now I feel bad because I wish he would just go watch t.v.

  6. I guess I have about the best husband EVER! HE does the grocery shopping AND he puts it all in their CORRECT place….
    WE agreed on this before we married this was his only part on doing house chores. I hate shopping, he hates everything else. Perfect arrangment, isn’t it?

    • do you rent him out?
      we could use him as a role model for our husbands!

  7. BWAH HA HA HA!! Oh dear GOD, yes!! My hubby also greatly enjoys waiting until I am just about to slam the back hatch on the minivan closed to ask if I need any help carrying in the groceries! Uh, yeah, about 15 bags ago. Nothing is more validating than being out to dinner with girlfriends and knowing that you are not alone in your rants!-Ashley

    • You’re right! When I go out with the girls, there’s always someone who’s got it a little better and a little worse — but we all feel better by sharing the frustration, the hilarity, and the liberal cocktails!

  8. Oh thank gawd. I thought I was the only one who bangs around in the kitchen, wondering how long it will take for my husband to get off the couch and come and help me (hint: the answer is NEVER). ;)

  9. Ashlee said:

    Every time my boyfriend cleans or helps me with cleaning, I spank him and tell him how sexy he looks scrubbing the toilets or unclogging the sink. He expects a sexual favor in return so the odds are good that he’ll actually do a few chores here and there.

    • Exactly! And my kids think they’re veritable saints for putting their dirty dishes in the sink instead of leaving them on the table. But what prevents them from opening the dishwasher to put the dishes inside? There’s some sort of invisible force field that evidently prevents them from accessing the dishwasher itself!

    • You’re lucky! Let’s swap! :o)
      But you can keep your kidlet because I have my own non-compliant kids over here! ha!

  10. My husband is really good about putting away the groceries – he designed the kitchen, so he knows where things go. He even hangs up and folds laundry. (And no, he’s not for hire!)The one thing he does that annoys me is carry his dishes into the kitchen and sits them on the counter, directly over the dishwasher.

    • oooo, would love to hire him! :o)
      and what is it about the dishwasher that nobody seems able to open it but us? :o)

  11. Julie said:

    OMG. When I was married, not only wouldn’t he help with the “lady chores” — I also took care of the “man chores.” I cut the grass, shoveled the snow and took the garbage out. I also walked 3 miles to my job at the grocery store and 3 miles home, carrying groceries and pregnant. I know it sounds like my parents having to walk 5 miles to school in 3 ft of snow uphill both ways, but I swear I speak the truth! My ex was a real gem, ladies and gentlemen. A real gem.

    • Yowza! Glad to hear that gem is now an “ex!”

  12. I just can’t wait to be married to my lovely boyfriend, who, instead of putting things away just leaves groceries in the bags in the middle of the floor until he uses them (or more likely things go bad). Instead of putting things in the dishwasher, he just stacks dishes on the counter allllll over the kitchen. He’s impossible.

    • yikes! can you send him to training school before you marry him? :o)

  13. Linda W said:

    In the seventeen years I was married, my telepathic pleas were never heard. Neither were the slammed cabinets, doors, washing machine, or drawers apparently, because he didn’t do any chores inside our home. In fact, when I sent a single can of corn as his lunch to tell him he wasn’t appreciative of me making his lunches everyday, he was just pissed I didn’t include a can opener. Sheesh. However, I was afraid to ask for what I needed and wanted (a totally different story) Now that I am divorced and in a relationship, I have learned that no matter how great a guy is, he just can’t read my mind. It’s much easier and way less stressful to just ask for help.

    • Amen, sister! Far better to ask than to send telepathic messages/
      Of course, some men will still shirk, even when asked! But perhaps they have other “skills” that make up for lack of household help. cough, cough

    • they must be programmed that way! :o)
      although I’ve heard about some husbands who cook AND clean up after dinner! sounds like a unicorn to me, but maybe they DO exist!

  14. In our house it’s opposite – we tell one of the teens to do the chores and of course they don’t and my husband ends up doing it, slamming cupboard doors loudly. Then the lazy teen will come to me and say, “Why is he upset, I was going to clean the kitchen.”
    Vivian recently posted..HealingMy Profile

    • ha! that’s a classic!
      around here, someone will inevitably wander in AFTER the chore is done and say, “oh, I was gonna clean that” or “I was gonna put that away” — and I want to say, “Oh you WAS, WAS you?” (scowl)

  15. corinne said:

    maybe instead of banging around, you should just ask him for help??

    • Ha! That would be a much more direct way to go about it — I guess it is sort of passive-aggressive to do the chores noisily, hoping he’ll jump up to help without officially asking…especially since previous requests have not been enthusiastically answered…sigh

      • Evie said:

        I learned a long time ago that things don’t happen if you don’t ask – so I politely say “Love, would you please help me carry in the groceries?” which he promptly does. Not only that, but he has a phobia of food going bad, so he immediately puts everything away afterward. And since he does all the cooking in the house, I don’t worry about him putting things in the wrong place…he has a bad habit of leaving dirty dishes all over the house though, so I guess it balances out. I’m so lucky. ^_^

        • He COOKS? Does he have a BROTHER? Send him over here stat!