Would You Like Some Vagina…Cake?

So then…we’re celebrating my daughter Chloe’s 16th birthday today — but she bought ME a cake!

Before our celebration plans tonight, she and her old brother Tucker snuck off to the store so she could order this cake for me:

Vagina Cake (RAW)

I die laughing.

I love Chloe’s sense of humor!

And I can only imagine the baker’s expression as he was asked to write:

“Thanks for pushing me out your Vagina.”

First of all, what choice did I have?  I certainly couldn’t keep her in there!

And second of all, why did the baker capitalize “Vagina?”

Does he think that’s someone’s name?  (I guess it could be a car’s name – like, “Thanks for pushing me out your Toyota before the train hit us.”)

Either way, those rapscallion kids of mine are snickering up a storm as they hand me the cake.  And I must say – it is delicious.

Several visitors have been in and out of the house today – and yes, we ask everyone who arrives:

“Would you like some vagina…


Horrified looks quickly give way to laughter when they see the cake.

But it does raise an interesting point.

Why AREN’T we sending cakes and gifts to our moms on our birthdays?  After all, it’s the anniversary of the day they spent hours in agonizing labor to grant us life!

So am I suggesting that my kids should give me cakes and gifts on Mother’s Day…AND on my birthday…AND on their birthdays?

Why, yes – yes, I am.

Who’s with me?

— Darcy Perdu

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(Do you agree we moms should get cards and gifts on our KIDS’ birthdays too? What goofy shenanigans do YOUR kids get up to?)

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22 replies on “Would You Like Some Vagina…Cake?

    • Great! Now I just need to alert Hallmark so they alert society to make this important addition! Cake and presents for all moms on their kids’ birthdays!

    • Probably still shaking his head about those crazy kids and that cake…

  1. momchelle said:

    I’ve been doing this for years, after all- she did the hard work, I just laid there and cried! Well, taking my mom out on my birthday- not giving her vagina cakes. I also take her out for Father’s Day since my dad died, since she’s the only parent I have left.

    • Oh, that’s so cool! You’re an awesome daughter!
      She’s a lucky mama! (even if she hasn’t yet had the delight of receiving a Vagina cake! ha!)

  2. Lizzy said:

    You had me at “cake”.

    Does this mean I can put in a stop order for the How to Train a Dragon, and the PAW Patrol cake toppers? Well maybe keep the dragons, because dragons.

    • Ha! Yes, keep the dragons!
      Dragons and Vaginas!
      And Cake!

  3. Paul said:

    Ha! Very funny Darcy. Your kids have inherited your sense of humor.

  4. Dana said:

    I say just have a little bit of cake every day! And ice cream!

    Later, some cookies.

    Maybe a Snickers… Reece’s Peanutbutter cups… and some Sprees.

    A couple of Mentos.

    • HA! A girl after my own heart!
      I not only have dessert after breakfast – I sometimes have dessert after dessert!

    • Bwahaha!
      And I can’t believe I forgot to link to Vaginas on Parade!
      You need to be my agent, woman! You’re totally on top of these things!

  5. Oh my goodness that cake would make me laugh if it was given to me it would have been more disturbing if it was the shape of a vagina just saying but then I am strange and like strange things
    Jo-Anne recently posted..Good morning/School’s backMy Profile

    • Right? I’ve seen some photos of Baby Shower cakes featuring some pretty realistic babies made out of cake and frosting — and some of them are emerging from realistic-looking cake vajayjays – and I’m all like, Damn, I love me some cake but I CANNOT eat that realistic-baby-emerging-from-hooha!

  6. jenny_o said:

    With you all the way! Wait, though, this means I’m on the hook for my mom’s cake and gifts on my birthday?

    Your kids have a great sense of the absurd :)

    Happy Birthday to your daughter, and many more!

    • Thank you! Yes, they ARE absurd and I love it!
      And yes, you gotta buy your Mom a cake and gifts on YOUR birthday too! Ha!

  7. Arionis said:

    I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had time to read your blog and look what I missed! Vagina cake! Don’t guess there’s any left? Awesome!

    • HA!
      Sorry, sir, we’re all out of Vagina Cake.