Snubbed by a Hose Holder!

Funny - Snubbed by a Hose Holder
So then…my tween daughter Chloe and I pedal our bikes around a corner, exploring more new streets in our neighborhood.

In the distance, in the front yard of a brown house, I see a figure that looks like Ruth, a woman I’ve met at the rec center several times.

Hey, it IS Ruth!

She’s holding a hose, watering some plants in her front yard.

We’re biking along at a good clip, so I need to time my greeting well to be sure she sees me.

As we approach, I call out “Hi, Ruth!”

My daughter Chloe murmurs a cautionary “Mom” to me, in hopes I won’t embarrass her.

Ruth squints at us in the distance, which means we’re too far for her to see who it is.

So as we get closer, I wave and call out loudly, “HIIII, RUTH!”

She just stares at me, still holding her hose.

Chloe mutters, “Omigod, Mo-om.”

But I am undeterred.

As we roll by, parallel to her yard, on the other side of the street, I really step up my game.

I wave BOTH arms, flailing about, smiling big, yelling, “Hey, Ruth! It’s ME!! It’s DARCY!! DAAAARCY! Hello! Hi, Ruuuuuuth! Hiiiii!”

She looks at me, with no expression on her face, no sign of recognition. Just stands there holding her hose.

As we ride past to the next street, there is awkward silence.

Chloe does not say a word.

Another moment of silence.

More silence.

Then I concede, “It’s possible that wasn’t Ruth.”


Chloe shoots me the dead-eyed expression of “YA THINK?”

I guess I’m lucky non-Ruth didn’t turn the hose on us as we rode by!

— Darcy Perdu

Please pop your email address in the Purple Box below so you can receive funny NEW posts twice a week!

(Any cases of mistaken identity you can share? How about a time you embarrassed your kids? Share in the Comments section!)
Funny - Snubbed by a Hose Holder