That’s Not a Threat; That’s a VOW

How to Shock Everyone During Your Wedding Vows #funny #wedding #vows #bride #groom #humor #marriage

So then…I peek through the Church door with excitement as I prepare for my Grand Entrance. Our friends and family have gathered from round the globe to witness our wedding. I am glowing with goodwill.

I see my handsome groom take his place at the front, grinning and gesturing at his buddies in the front row. Suddenly, I see money change hands.

Money change hands.

His buddies are passing bills back and forth, pretending that they had bet on whether or not he was going to show up! The congregation chuckles at the pantomiming. He and his buddies get a big laugh for their antics.

I harrumph.

Oh believe me, I love a good laugh. And I know my groom is a cut-up. It’s one of his best traits.

But to be upstaged at my own wedding? Harrumph.

So the music starts, and we make our Grand Entrance to oohs and aahs. I am glowing with goodwill again.

I smile at all the happy faces of our pals and relatives. The ceremony is really lovely.

When it’s my turn for the vows, the minister asks me to repeat after him.

Minister: to have and to hold from this day forward

Me: to have and to hold from this day forward

Minister: for better or worse

Me: for better or worse

Minister: in sickness and in health

Me: in sickness and in health

Minister: for richer or poorer

Me: for richer

Awkward pause.

Minister looks up from his booklet. Congregation collectively cocks their heads.

Minister repeats: for richer or poorer

I repeat, innocently: for richer

Congregation erupts into laughter.

Bride winks at groom.

Groom grins. Touche’, my dear, touche’.

— Darcy Perdu

Original Illustration for So Then Stories by Shelly Draven

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(Anyone pull pranks or jokes at YOUR wedding – or weddings you’ve attended? Surely you have a funny story to share about something that happened at a rehearsal dinner, bachelor/bachelorette party, or wedding reception? A guest gone crazy? A toast gone awry? A groom gone AWOL?)