My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver

My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver P Clear
So then…I confirm I’m available for dinner with the other three Margarita Mamas a week from Tuesday, but I add a P.S. to the email, directed to one of the Moms who is known for meticulous and enthusiastic grooming for herself and her daughter.

I write:
Kate, I can’t believe I’m asking this question because my daughter is only 12 years old, but she has the big bushy eyebrows of an Italian truck driver. Where do you take your daughter for her eyebrow waxing/shaping — and once you start, do you have to go weekly to maintain it? If so, that’s too much money and I will just change Chloe’s name to Emilio the Hairy-Eyebrowed Truck Driver.

My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver Movie Star                   (the eyebrows look a little something like this)

Mindy chimes in:
I know Kate has a place she likes, but you can also consider xxxxxx Salon. Going every 2 weeks should be fine – or teach her how to pluck! Poor Emilio…

Kate writes:
My daughter and I go to xxxxxx Salon. We go every two weeks and it’s about $20. You may not have to take her that often. Good luck!

I respond to all THREE Moms, jokingly:
Thanks, Kate & Mindy, for your referrals for eyebrow shaping. Sherry, where do you take Jack?

Sherry responds:
You’re hilarious! I was cracking up when I read the first e-mail. Jack wears his hair so long, I think he’s going for the “Cousin It” look. I’m not even sure if he has eyebrows…

I respond:
Love the Cousin It remark! I literally had to bribe Tucker to get a haircut and to shave his long sideburns and wispy hair that is growing along his jawbone. He wanted to “grow it in to see if it would become a beard.” The hair stylist and I told him it would take CENTURIES to grow those wisps into a beard — and it would just be a beard UNDER his chin, so he’d end up looking like one of the Appalachian hill people! Lord help us!

Sherry replies:
Ugh, boys and their hair. I thought my daughter would be way worse, but my son’s the difficult one. Yet, he still wants me to comb his hair every morning. I asked him if I’d be getting a key to his apartment when he moves out — or should I just move in next door, so I’d still be able to comb his hair in the morning. He just gave me “the look.” My daughter laughed. But him, not so much. As for Tucker, I would love to have seen him before the haircut and shave. What “style” station are they watching that they think it’s a good look for them? National Geographic – Neanderthal/Appalachian Style Network…?

I respond:
That’s hilarious about you possibly having to live next door to your adult son so you can comb his hair each morning! As for Tucker, when his hair grows – it grows OUT – not DOWN — so he looks like he has a poofy big-hair coiffure like a 1960’s librarian. I was so relieved he consented to cut it short!

My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver Librarian                                   1960’s Librarian Hairstyle

Click here to see photos of overgrown eyebrows of Chloe (aka Emilio the Truck Driver)
Click here to see Tucker’s 1960’s librarian hairstyle and Appalachian wispy under-chin beard

(NOTE: If photo links do not work, it’s possible my children have disabled my linking capabilities and hidden all photos of themselves, lest they be publicly humiliated.)

— Darcy Perdu

(Any fun follicle follies to share about YOUR kids? Anybody who shuns haircuts, eyebrow waxing, and beard shaving to live a more hirsute lifestyle? With our Italian-Irish heritage, our family’s soooo lucky that our dark bushy hair really POPS on our pale alabaster skin! I practically have to shave my legs HOURLY! Share your hair tales in the Comments Section!)

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25 replies on “My Daughter, the Italian Truck Driver

  1. Rhonda B said:

    Thank God my kids got their hair color and hair from their Dad. If I don’t shave/pluck or wax I look just like an Italian Truck driver! ha-ha! I am of polish decent, so yah…polish Truck driver! Too Funny!

  2. I’m not a mom but with three sisters (and myself) who decided we had an aversion to hair cuts (and brushes), I have tons of hair stories.

    Just to start – during the elementary/middle school ages we walked around shamelessly with half of our hair in a dreadlock that would put… damn, I can’t think of a white person with dreads… most anyone to shame.
    And we all went through that phase. Separately.
    As soon as my poor parents thought they were done dealing with it (they were forever embarrassed by us), the next child started.

    I did learn something out of it though – I am a champion hair brusher now.
    Cassie recently posted..Slightly embarrassing story ahead….My Profile

  3. OMG!!!!! That’s hilarious! I was born with my dad’s eyebrows… or should I say “eyeBROW”. I was super self conscious so once I got to middle school my mom taught me how to tweeze (just the center) and my self-esteem increased a whole lot! I would also suggest nair for the face, but you HAVE to test it out on her wrist first!! Try it out, it’s cheaper than waxing and easier than plucking. :)

  4. Mimi Gin said:

    My son (26) decided his new year’s resolution was to not shave or cut his hair for a year. Unfortunately his hair is very fine and his beard comes in kinda wiry. Definitely not a good look. Thank heavens he got a job interview and felt it appropriate to trim things up, a lot!

    It took all I had not chase him around with a pair of shears!

    • omigosh, Mimi, I know the feeling! So glad your son had the interview to spur him on to being a bit more clean-cut!

  5. I started waxing my daughter’s legs at 12. I also do her brows when she lets me . My ex-husband is French, so those poor bastards are going to be hairy…every last one of them. When she was born, she had a tuft of hair on each ear. We are evolving in reverse.

    I’m pretty sure that you should all go out and invest in laser salons…we’re about to drive up the stock.

      • I wish I were kidding. I’m not even going to get into the patch of hair on her lower back. Both, thankfully, fell out, but I secretly fear they’re just waiting for full-blown puberty for a reappearance.

  6. My husband plucks his eyebrows. Shhh! Don’t tell him I told you. He’s pretty good at it, you’d never know unless he tells you :)
    Xae recently posted..Nocturnal WisdomMy Profile

  7. I was blessed with the pale, pale skin of the Irish from my dad and the dark, dark hair of the Greeks from my mom. I think I’ve been shaving my legs since I was 3. I could not function without tweezers on a daily basis. Try not to be jealous. –Lisa

    • Ha! We could be twins — we’re Irish and Italian!

  8. I didn’t start shaping my eyebrows until I was 18. Sadly, that was back in the 90210 days where eyebrows were REALLY thin and kind of painted on. And, of course, I plucked way too much between my eyes, so the result was not pretty. Then again, the pre-plucking wasn’t so great either. Now, I leave it to the professionals!!
    Dani Ryan recently posted..Why I stopped drinking at work eventsMy Profile

    • Dani — I can relate. I was an enthusiastic plucker as a teen — and now the eyebrow hair has’t grown back so MY eyebrows are way too thin! I wish I could transplant some of Chloe’s eyebrow hair to me!

  9. Darcy, I am practically the missing link – I am so hairy – I have been planning a post about it Rolux Magnum you will understand when you read it

    • Can’t wait to see how Rolux Magnum relates to your hairiness (hairiosity? not sure of correct term!)

  10. Heatherly said:

    As a woman, my almost-beard was the bane of my existence for many years. I would pluck that sucker almost every day – and then have an inch-long dark hair appear out of nowhere! Prior to marrying my husband, my roommate and I would have grooming sessions while watching TV every couple of weeks or so (when we couldn’t afford to get waxed)… Eyebrows, lip and chin, we both got pretty good at it!

    I hit my limit a couple years ago and paid for electrolysis. It was a little painful and a little spendy, but I am now beard-free and LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT! :-)

    • LOL! Glad to hear you are beard-free! That’s way more challenging than Chloe’s unibrow!

  11. D-Marie said:

    My best friend is French and Italian so needless to say she didn’t fare so well in the body hair department. Her mother would not let her shave /wax/ or pluck until she turned 14. The poor girl used to have her back hair tugged on in the locker room and people would make Chewbacca sounds (leading to the nickname Chewbackhair). I am all for feminism, but mothers, PLEASE help your kiddies out.

  12. Frankie said:

    I have PCO (Poly cystic ovaries) besides having a bitch of a time trying to get pregnant (that was 3 years ago and just had my baby in June this year) I look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo! The whiskers that come out my chin is nasty thick and makes me question my gender. I need to get laser done ASAP!

    • congrats on your success! what’s a little Bearded Lady action when you have a new baby?! totally worth it! hee hee

      • Frances said:

        Agreed! As long as I don’t have hairy knuckles and arms, wax is a girl’s best friend