I Don’t Mean To Be All Judgy On This Chick, But REALLY…

I Don't Mean to be all Judgy on this Chick -- But REALLY! #funny #moms #class #kids #students #school

So then…the kindergarteners sing the last note of “You Are My Sunshine” and the classroom erupts with applause from the parents sitting on little chairs in the back.

The teacher announces, “OK, parents, that concludes our parents’ program. It’s noon, so you can just take your kids home with you now – or let them stay at school until 3:00.”

Who SAYS that? Right in front of the kids?

That’s like telling a 5 year old, “Here’s a BRAND NEW PUPPY JUST FOR YOU! – unless your Mom says no.”

So now kids are tumbling over to their parents asking to go home now – and many of the Moms are wearing that conflicted expression of “Ahh! I had hoped to have another 3 hours of peace and quiet – but I’ll be the worst mom ever if I don’t take my kid home now.”

The air is thick with guilt.

Some of the kids are clueless, though, like my daughter, who’s happily pressing Valentine’s candies into her cupcake with her friends. She knows I need to return to the office and she loves her school pals, so I’m good to go.

Meanwhile, I overhear this exchange:

Mom 1: Are you taking your son home now or having him stay ‘til 3?

Mom 2, blowing nose: I don’t know…I’m sick today, so I was thinking of having him stay.

Mom 1: Oh – well, if you don’t feel well, why don’t you take my son home with you too – and he can keep your son company while you rest!

Mom 2: *?*

Who says THAT?

Seriously! Not “since you’re sick, why don’t I take YOUR son home with ME so you can rest” — she actually suggested the sick mom take another kid home with HER!

Just what a sick mom needs – TWO 5-year-olds running around her house creating havoc!

Not to mention, why would you want to send your kid to someone’s house when they’re sick? (We generally try to avoid close contact with sniffling, slobbering, sneezing people so we don’t get sick too.)

I try hard not to be judgy of Mom 1, but I am literally thunderstruck by her audacity.

And she’s not backing down. She’s telling Mom 2 that the kids will have so much fun together at Mom 2’s house! She’s really selling it! Very enthusiastic! Mom 2 wavers, looking uncomfortable.

As mentioned, I have to get back to the office, so I can’t even offer to take Mom 2’s kid off her hands for a playdate – and I don’t know either of the Moms well enough to interject with an alternate plan (or a swift kick to the rear).

So instead I flash a look at Mom 2 that says, “Ermagerd, she is cray-cray if she thinks yer gonna take her kid home too – you stay strong, gurl, don’t let this chick railroad you into a forced playdate!”

Just then, Chloe zips over to show me her candy-cupcake creation, so I don’t know how the situation resolves between Mom 1 and Mom 2, but I hope that mama stayed strong!

Have you ever?

— Darcy Perdu

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(Honestly, I was stunned by this woman. How about you — any similar situations where you just thought, “I can’t believe they just said that!” Any funny stories about Moms, playdates, school parties, or teachers who sell you out in front of your kids? Do tell!)


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I’m delighted to welcome Birth With Balance as a sponsor of So Then Stories! The lovely Chelsea Ann Wiley has created a warm, wonderful website chock full of amazing birth stories from women all over the world. These true accounts of birthin’ babies include stories that are hilarious, suspenseful, touching, heartbreaking, and joyous. As a labor and delivery nurse, Chelsea noticed that many women entered the maternity ward not knowing what to really expect — or clinging to a birth plan that unfolds a bit…differently than planned. Chelsea created the Birth with Balance website so that “through storytelling, active discussions, and supportive listening, we create a collaborative opportunity to connect women around the world and contribute to positive childbirth experiences.”  Naturally, my favorites are the funny ones like “Ready or Not Here I Come” and “Childbirth Advice.” Click those links, then poke around on Chelsea’s site to find more great stories — then ADD YOUR OWN! Be sure to share the site with others, especially moms-to-be! Thanks, Darcy Perdu

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64 replies on “I Don’t Mean To Be All Judgy On This Chick, But REALLY…

  1. I definitely think kids keep themselves well entertained during play dates that allow you some peace and quiet, but to offer- can you even call it that?- to send your kid over when a mom is sick is beyond befuddling. I would have said “Sorry, not today. But whenever you’re feeling under the weather, just give me a call and I’ll send my Johnny right over!” And as for that teacher- what in the world???!!! I am a school administrator and if our teachers ever said that, I would be irate. Also a good indication they are not prepared for the rest of the day!
    My Special Kind of Crazy recently posted..Weekend in Review: How My Birthday Celebrations Have ChangedMy Profile

  2. Paul said:

    Yeah, ya gotta hate it when people of authority in your life are not on the same page, be it teachers, bosses, policemen or whatever. It reminds me of a staff meeting we once had with the company owner where I was responsible for the fleet of tractor-trailers and the drivers. The owner was a very smart, very kind man, but at the time he was about 75. Although he was very sharp, some of the “techniques” he used when he was active had become, shall I say, politically incorrect. He encouraged the drivers (there were about 50 of them present) to ask him about any problems they were having. One question related to the fact that they sometimes waited for what they thought was an unacceptable time, to reload to return to the distribution center. The owner suggested that they find out what type of alcohol the shippers liked to imbibe, and keep some in the truck at all times so when a bribe was necessary to jump the line or speed up the loading process, they had a bottle ready. AAAARGH! Here I am, their direct boss, sitting there biting my tongue. First of all, it was a fireable offense to have liquor in the trucks; second, if there was ever an accident and a bottle of alcohol broke in the cab, there would be no end to the problems and accusations. Third, if a police officer ever found liquor in the truck, although it is not illegal, the officer would, for sure, find some regulatory infringement with which to charge the driver. And finally, if our suppliers ever found out that our drivers were bribing their employees they could easily ban us from their warehouses. And then what happens if the driver gets frustrated some day, has a day from hell, and decides that a slug of the handy booze would make the day better? Yikes!

    When the owner left the meeting (he only had a short presentation) I quickly reminded the drivers about the rules and consequences. They just laughed – having been brought up in a world where mandatory breath alcohol testing is a part of the employment culture – and got some amusement out of teasing me by asking what kind of booze I drank.

    • Holy Cow! I can’t believe he suggested offering the shippers booze to jump the line! What’s next? — keep a couple hookers in the truck just in case they’re needed too? Ha!

      • Paul said:

        Believe it or not, Darcy, I saw that done once – years ago. Times have changed.

        • Zoinks!
          I wish comments indicated tone of voice. I can’t tell if your remark is incredulous — or nostalgic.

  3. William Kendall said:

    Well, in her view, exposing her child to a sick adult is a good thing. The kid’s going to get sick anyway, so it’s better to get it done and over with now, right?

    • Self-serving is the right word for that mom, for sure!

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  5. Julie said:

    I think sick momma should have tossed her cookies on mom 1’s shoes. Sure they would have had a good time, but realistically they are 5 and do need supervision. I never cease to be amazed by the boldness of some people. My ex sister-in-law is a fine example. I am by no means a pushy person and I really try to bow out gracefully yet she continues to push until the outcome is to her liking. Ugh.

    • Ha — that would’ve been hilarious if she did toss her cookies on Mom 2!

  6. I confess, when I taught school I’d say stuff like that because I KNEW it would make the parents crazy. It was my passive-aggressive form of revenge for all the emails they sent blaming me for their kid’s grade/behavior/weight/nose-picking habit/whatever.

  7. OMG. Talk about colossal nerve! (or as my people say … chutzpah!) … not to mention reckless disregard for her kid’s health! It takes all kinds, no? The last time I saw chutzpah like that was at a bat mitzvah of my daughter’s best friend. This clueless family at services that day, just followed the caravan of cars to the reception … helped themselves to the open bar, sat down and ate dinner … even got in several photos with family and friends. It was like a bad SNL skit. When my friend showed me the bat mitzvah photos, we had a good laugh at this couple of idiots who had no idea that this was an event with invitations!!!
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    • Holy Cow! I can’t believe they attended the party without being invited! That IS chutzphah!

        • OMIGOD, Paul! I am DYING laughing over here! I completely forgot about my OWN party-crashing experience! But it was the CAR’S fault! Not mine! I promise! The car, the car! LOL

  8. Lol maybe they were friends?…but still! I had a girlfriend recently ask me to keep her kindergartner for a week bc she was sick and didn’t want to let the child’s father get an “extra week.” I was nice and instead of saying eff no, I said, “PorkChop has to be at school at 7:45 and Pea at 8. Your daughter goes to school on the other side of town (in her dad’s neighborhood no less) so there’s no way I can make it.” Her response was, “if you get the three kids up really early and leave your house by 6am then you can drop mine off at before care, then make it back through traffic to the other side of town to bring your kids to school.” Then I said, “no, guess her dad gets an extra week.” Smh
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    • Wow! That’s a huge request, even for friends! I can’t believe she would even ask you that! Good for you for politely, but firmly, declining!

  9. AinOakPark said:

    Well, I’d encourage you next time to don your cape and fly in to save the day.

    That being said, you might not have understood the situation. From early childhood, my youngest had a friend who, indeed, COULD be said to make the day easier, and her mother would regularly call and ask if they could play together AT HER HOUSE SINCE SHE WAS SO BUSY THAT DAY! Seriously, she said all she needed was to make macaroni and cheese somewhere in the middle of the day, and they were good to go. Even if I offered to take both girls, she would demure. I found that they were a great team on my busy days as well. It’s a MIRACLE.

    On another note, I brought my oldest to kindergarten for the first day, a ten month old on my hip, and overheard a mother, weeping, saying, “I don’t know what I am going to DO now that Samantha is in school. I will be so bored and at a loss for something to do!” I blame it on lack of sleep, and the pressures of getting a child off to the first day of school, but I snapped, quite loudly, “THAT IS PATHETIC! Start a hobby, read a book, take a class! Have lunch with a friend, volunteer, take a walk! Become politically active, clean your house! There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do all the things I WANT to do!” The two mothers looked at me, stunned. Needless to say, I never did click with the mothers at that school, since I am sure the phone lines (yes they still had phone lines then) were buzzing.

    • LOL! When the other mom complained about having nothing to do all day, I thought you were going to say you were going to hand her your 10-month-old and run off to get a mani-pedi! ha! That’s pretty funny you were able to spout a whole list of things for her to do right on the spot. I feel the same way — I wish there were 36 hours in a day to do all the things I’d like to do!

      • AinOakPark said:

        Crap, crap, crap! YOU thought of a better comeback than I did!

        And to think I could have had a mani-pedi!!!!

  10. ERMAHGERD indeed! Wow. Some people are so short sighted it just amazes me. Reminds me of my MIL (whom I adore); she would do the ole pop in when my infant was napping (by the grace if god) because she assumed I’d love someone to chat with. Honestly, I was so happy to get a chance to rest without a baby on my boob, I wouldn’t have chatted with freakin Charlie Hunnam!
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    • actually, I enjoy chatting with your MIL when I have Charlie Hunnam on my boob.

  11. I hate those little chairs!!! The teacher is smart, she knows what she’s doing – they’re very savvy trying to put the pressure on the moms so THEY can have some peace and quiet. lol. I swear Mom#2 is beyond cray cray, she’s inconsiderate and selfish. I would never send my kid to someone else’s house who’s sick – I don’t need that ish, a sick kid is worse than a sick adult! Have a great one Darcy! -Iva
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  12. Whaaaat. I can’t stand when people try to sell you on the benefits of the favor they’re not willing to just come out and ask for. Unless it’s Tom Sawyer, then it’s okay.

    • Ha! Yes! Love Tom Sawyer and his mad skills in manipulation to whitewash that fence!

  13. My aunt had the afternoon off and went to my cousin’s kindergarten to surprise him and take him home early. When he saw her instead of being delighted he asked her what she was doing there so early and to please leave as he was having fun.
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    • Wow, sounds like he really enjoyed his class, so that’s good news! Sorry your aunt’s surprise didn’t work out for taking him home early — hope she went and did something fun — mani-pedi with a margarita, perhaps!

    • I tried to melt her with a sharp judgmental glance, but her powers were too strong.

    • Ha! I should try to track her down and find out!

    • Don, you’re the FIRST person to point out that Mom 2 probably shouldn’t have been in a classroom since she was sick. Congratulations! Your prize is the whole classroom of kindergarteners at your house for a day! They’ll be there at 8 am tomorrow morning. P.S. Half are sick with the flu. The other half have lice. Enjoy!

  14. I like your style! Literally, I spewed my tea in front of total strangers. Good stuff!

    • Thanks, Summer! Liquid spewage is my my goal! :o)

    • ha! When Mom 1 said that, I was almost said, “Say WHAT now?”

    • Good point! That may have been one of those “let me wrap up this self-serving suggestion with a pretty bow and sell it as a gift” type situations!

  15. I guess, if we look on the positive side of things, that we have to give Mom #1 props for knowing what she wants and going after it. If Mom #2 had the same confidence, she would have immediately let Mom #1 know there was no way in hell she was taking extra kids home. How often do we stay quiet or acquiesce when we don’t want to or when we feel uncomfortable — all for the sake of being “nice” or socially acceptable? I’m working on being a bit more bitchy and focusing on MY needs instead of everyone around me.

    • Good point! Sometimes a good sense of humor can help in those situations. Mom #2 could have said something playful like, “Ah hell no! The last thing I need is another kid when I’m feeling sick! Do you want me to pick up your dry cleaning and cook your family dinner too? No thanks!” (big smile)

  16. Kate said:

    Honest to god, if someone asked me if my sick ass wanted to take THEIR kid to entertain MY kid (who I wasn’t planning on taking home) I would laugh in her face.

    That said, I do have a mom friend who is forever asking to “borrow” my kid to entertain her kid. She’s even harassed me into letting her take my kid to chuck e cheese with her. I’ll barely take my own kid to chuck e cheese. I feel bad I never offer to take her kid. Not bad enough to offer, but, you know, a little bad. (For the record, my kid isn’t “easy” or, often, accommodating.)

    • Ha! Yes if I were that sick Mom, I think I would have laughed in her face too — then sneezed in her face for good measure!

  17. That is just ridiculous. I totally can’t blame you for “judging” her, though I don’t even consider that being judgy, because that’s just wrong. I’m only in college, so no kids for me yet, but even I know that you just do not do that.
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    • Exactly! Not sure what the college equivalent of this would be… I guess a mom asking a sick mom to take her kid home for a playdate would be like a college student asking a sick classmate worried about writing a term paper to write their term paper too! Simply not cool!

  18. We were at a school event similar to this. I believe it was a party this has been about 20 years ago. Two women — one brand new mommy and one due any day — at their older children’s school party. Pregnant mom helping in any way possible the other mom sitting down who’s due any day.

    New mom’s baby starts crying and she tries to finish up and go to her. Pregnant mom says (and I am quoting verbatim), “Would you like me to feed your baby? I’ve been dying to practice.” New mom looks at her and says, “That’s okay, I breast feed.” Pregnant mom says, “That’s what I’m talking about. I want to get some practice.” Shortly after, new mom takes her baby and flees the scene. Can’t say I blame her…you could here crickets chirping — all of the other moms staring at her like she’s crazy…which she was…wasn’t she?!?
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    • OH
      That is outlandish! I can’t believe one mom asked another mom if she could breastfeed the other mom’s baby!
      I would’ve said, “Look, you can share your toys with my kid. You can even share your Cheerios with my kid. But do NOT share your boobies with my kid!”
      I know that may be common in some cultures, but not for me, thanks! I’m pretty kumbaya — but…breastfeeding my kid? Um no. Wild!

  19. Is it possible she meant to say the right thing but it came out wrong? I’ve done that more than once….

    • Ha! Me too! The thoughts in my brain are so much more eloquent and clear than when they come out of my mouth!
      I suppose we can give her the benefit of the doubt too!