How Cool I Am — vs. How Cool My DAUGHTER Thinks I Am

How Cool I Think I Am vs. How Cool MY DAUGHTER Thinks I Am!  and HERE'S Why!  YOU tell me who's right! #funny #moms #daughters #cool #popular #humor

So then…my grinning tween daughter Chloe says, “Oh, Mom, you’re so aDORable!” (a bit patronizingly, if you ask me)

“What? I am not!” I say. “I’m a ‘hip, cool, with it’ Mom!”

She laughs. “Mom, the very fact that you used those terms means you are anything but those things.”

Lately I feel my tween daughter finds me…archaic.

When I ask her to take a sweater, she rolls her eyes indulgently and smiles, shoving a sweater in her backpack, leaving me with the distinct feeling that it’s merely a pacifying gesture.

When I ask her to call her friend to arrange carpool pickup time, she grins, shakes her head at this old-fashioned notion of “calling,” and fires off a quick text.

When I get excited that she wants to borrow something from my youth that she found buried in my closet, I then realize the outfit I once wore so earnestly is the same outfit she’s planning to wear “ironically!”

When I promote good manners by advising her, “Never say anything that you’d be embarrassed for everyone to see on the front page of the newspaper,” she looks at me blankly – then nods kindly and says, “Oh, you mean don’t say anything you wouldn’t want to pop up on everyone’s Instagram account?”

When we goof around, I often hit her in the face with a pillow and yell “Make-Up!” She always giggles, but recently asked, “By the way, why do you always say that?” She had no idea that’s what old-time movie directors yelled when they wanted the make-up crew to powder puff the actors’ faces! When I try to explain, she nods soothingly, like “There, there, dear, it’s all right for you to reminisce about the good old days.”

Honestly, she makes me feel positively quaint!

But I’m not sitting here in white gloves and a pillbox hat!

I’m not rocking in a chair covered in a quilt I crocheted myself with the help of seven cats!

I don’t even wear Mom jeans!

Why does she think I’m a sweet old relic?

Maybe I’ll ask her when we go out today.

“Omigod, Mom! Are you wearing a fanny pack?” she asks.

“No, no!” I sputter. “It’s a little fabric pouch for your money that you clip to your belt loop!” I display it proudly. “It’s called a ‘Hip Clip!’

“Oh, Mom,” she says, looping her arm through mine. “You are aDORable!”

— Darcy Perdu

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(Anyone else have a kid making them feel like a relic? What do your kids tease YOU about? But a Hip Clip IS cool, right? Right? Hello?)

How Cool I Am vs How Cool My TWEEN Thinks I Am

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50 replies on “How Cool I Am — vs. How Cool My DAUGHTER Thinks I Am

  1. Amy Sherman said:

    No, she’s adorable. It sounds like the new generation’s version of, “Bless her heart.” And that hip clip sounds hilarious.

    • Ha! She IS pretty adorable! And yes, this is definitely the tween version of “Bless your heart!”

  2. Julie said:

    HA! I am sure you are ‘Pink cool’ even if she doesn’t realize it! This is so funny! Didn’t Carol Burnett do a skit about “make-up”?

    Do you know the majority of the best rock stars are in their 70’s? Man, they are old. Much older than we are, and much cooler too.

    • I hadn’t thought of that! Mick Jagger’s pretty cool and he’s about 8 times as old as I am! Ha!

  3. Paul said:

    Ha! Too funny Darcy, you aDORable blogger, you! The technology and tools we use as a society constantly evolve and we tend to stick to what we know, so there’s always that schism between generations. If you look at truly successful people or world changing ideas, they are all based on the nature of humans and the world, not on the tools we use. That’s just the cover on the real thing. Children come to realize that after a while (i.e. cyber-bullying,facebook, etc. – just the same human concepts with different tools). I must admit I get a great deal of guilty pleasure in pointing this out to young’uns who can get a bit uppity at their tech-savvy ways.

    I was responsible to get our offices painted at my last job. I collected three quotes and one of them was from a group called “College Pros” an organization that used student labor to do construction work. Their rep who did the quote was a Master’s student and he thought quite highly of himself. When he was done with the quote he told me it did not include the paint – so while he stood at my desk, I pulled up Home Depot’s website, went to the paint section, got the price per gallon of the paint we wanted (in about 5 seconds) and added it to the quote. The rep looked at me and said; “You’re pretty good at that for an old guy.”(I was in my forties.) Ha! I turned and looked him in the eye and said: “Sonny, my generation invented this technology – yours only uses it.” He didn’t get the job.

    Besides all that, Karma will rule and one day Chloe too will be called “aDORable” by her kids!

    • Ha! Love that paint story! And yes, Chloe WILL be aDORable to her kids too!

  4. I thought that I was hip and cool until my daughter hit thirteen; now I just feel old. How do they do that to us so quickly? (she asks while eyeing the knitting beside her computer…..)
    Kat recently posted..Old School Blogging – March EditionMy Profile

    • Hey at least the knitting is next to the COMPUTER so you’re tech-savvy AND a sweet lil’ old lady knitter! :o)

    • Ha! I loooooove my fanny pack! Seriously, when you’re at an amusement park, it is the most efficient method of hands-free storage! Some hip designer needs to re-invent the fanny pack and make it cool!

      • I agree! I love moving through the world in “hands-free” mode. No purse falling off of my shoulder. In order not to embarrass myself with a fanny pack, I moved up to a cross-body bag. It looks ridiculous. Hrmmph.

        • Hmm, a cross-body bag? I’ll have to check that out! Of course, I carry so much stuff with me, I need a LITERAL body bag!

  5. HaHa!!! Thankfully my teenage boys don’t really care what I wear or really even what I say. Plus, I know that I’m still pretty cool – all moms are, right?!
    Kim recently posted..Day With KT Is EvolvingMy Profile

    • Ha! This way, you can retain the illusion that you’re still cool! :o)

  6. I totally relate. I have a 16 year old daughter and she just looks at me as if I am the oldest and corniest person on this earth. It’s disconcerting, to say the least, as I too, used to think I was PINK cool, but clearly am not in her eyes. And BTW, you seem pretty hip to me….not that I count (according to my kids)!
    Claudia Schmidt recently posted..I Love New York!My Profile

    • THANK YOU, CLAUDIA! At least ONE person out there thinks I’m hip! I will be sure to name drop you the next time Chloe rolls her eyes at my goofy attempts to be cool! “Oh, yeah? Well, CLAUDIA thinks I’m hip!”

  7. Belle of the Ball said:

    When I am shopping with my daughter and ask, “Do you think this is cute?” Her answer, “For YOU”. Alrighty

    • Good point! I may not be hip, but I’m wiiise!

  8. I think, no matter what we do, the younger generation is going to treat us like we belong behind a glass case in a museum… right next to model of a caveman fighting a saber-tooth tiger.

    Things like the Hip Clip don’t do much to dispel that idea, though.
    Vinny C recently posted..Gimme Five!My Profile

    • Ha! You might be right about the Hip Clip, Vinny! And I DO feel like a caveman!

    • Ha! You have a bit longer to fool him, Iva! He’ll still think you’re hip and cool for awhile! And then…KER-PLUNK! You’ll be relegated to the “aDORable” status like me! :o)

  9. Oh yeah, I feel old when I hear my mother in my voice. Or when I have to go to my 9yo to figure out the remote, or my iphone, or something on the computer. And when my 6yo shakes his head at something I’ve put on, then tells me to change my shirt because what I’m wearing “doesn’t look right”. Or when I don’t know a single song or artist on their ipod. UGH.
    Beth Teliho recently posted..*Just For Fun*My Profile

    • oh yes! I can relate to the technology stuff! I’ll ask my kids seemingly complicated techno questions and they act like I’ve just asked them the color of the sky! ergh!

    • Bwhahaha! Tell your “friend” that the woman on the left is Pink, the amazingly hip and cool singer and mom.
      Just curious, did your “friend” already know who the woman on the RIGHT is? Perhaps a former classmate or something? ha!

    • Thank you, Phil! I need that “cool” affirmation! What does my goober kid know? She’s just a kid, for Pete’s sake!

  10. Darcy, I absolutely cannot wait to meet you at BlogHer. I think we were separated at birth! I am grinning from ear-to-ear at this post. So much truth captured in your “snippet” (a word our girls would think we used on the prairie. LOL!) I especially love the part about the cool things she’s dug up in your closet only to wear them “ironically!” I saved all my eighties earrings, which my daughter uses for “decade days!” I keep asking her why she finds it annoying when I don’t know the words to songs and sing jibberish, but it’s okay for Lady Gaga. “I invented that!” I say. Truth be told, Lady G is impersonating ME!

    • Ha! I believe it! I think Lady G gets all her cool moves from you — including the gibberish-mush-mouth!

  11. You are so funny Darcy: )
    Daughters roll their eyes, but sons are just plain honest. You know how girls wear bikinis unless they are on the swimteam or they get too OLD to anymore? One day while out shopping, my dear, sweet, eight year old Ryan, led me over to a rack of one piece suits and told me to pick one from there. I was NOT on the swim team.

    • Oh, snap! No, he di’int! That li’l rascal! How dare he!?

    • Whaaaaat? My parents always smacked us in the face with pillows and yelled “Make-up!” So I do that with my kids! Maybe I’m just passing on some bizarre family ritual and it has nothing to do with old-time directors and powder-puffing actors! I’m re-evaluating my whole childhood now!

  12. Paul said:

    Darcy, I have to mention this: I just saw President Obama on the Ellen show and he has two daughters, ages 16 and 13. He apparently suffers the same issues with his daughters that you have with Chloe. He told the audience that he bought his daughters sweaters from The Gap and that they didn’t make any faces but they haven’t worn the sweaters yet. I guess that’s as good as it gets. He also said they find him less than interesting now. Apparently one came in to see him, patted him on the head, kissed his cheek, talked for a couple of minutes and then looked at her watch and said: “Well, I have to go now. I’ll see you after the weekend.”

    See? You’re in good company.

    • LOL! Glad to see the Leader of the Free World and I share the same patronizing progeny! Ha!

  13. I love hearing about wonderfully close mother/daughter relationships or even parent/child relationships in general like you two have, Darcy. I’m glad you are patient with eyerolls…I did that to my father once when I was a kid. That was the last time too…ha, ha.
    Mike recently posted..Phoenix And I Got 86′d From The Great Reno Balloon RacesMy Profile

    • Ha! Yep, our parents’ generation were a bit more strict with the eye rolls, weren’t they? Of course, with MY daughter, I’m as likely to GIVE an eye roll as GET one!

    • oh my God — those kids are ADORABLE! thanks for sharing that video — they are completely perplexed by a rotary phone! I suddenly feel so much SMARTER than them. Or OLDER. Or BOTH! ha!

      • I have a 19-year-old son and a 23-year-old daughter who still live at home. I’m forever getting the same sort of “aren’t you just the sweetest old lady” attitude. The worst is when they come right out and shake their heads as they smile at me in pity and say, “Oh, mom…”

        I think I need to remind them more often that they are living here rent-free.

        • ha! You SHOULD remind them of that! No patronizing the person who’s payin’ the bills! So funny!

  14. Yup my 8 yo does the same damn thing – patting the arm and everything. Just wait till they are the mothers! Ha! wait that would make us the grandmothers…that’s not any better.
    The Shitastrophy recently posted..My Car ShitastrophyMy Profile

    • ha! maybe we’re uncool mothers — but when we’re grandmas, we’ll be considered hip again!

  15. Love the daughter reference to coolness! I too think I am pretty “sick” as my son says meaning cool …I think? Keep putting up the cool front as we must remember it is a process. By the time they think we are cool we may actually be cool!

    • yo, yo, yo — true dat, Toni — this mama is a super fly cool playa! (cough cough — at least in my MIND I am!) ha!