How Hannah Can Win $150,000 & London Trip with YOUR Vote!

Hannah FB post

So then…I FREAK OUT because my 24-year-old hard-working niece Hannah makes it into the FINALS to win a $150,000 contribution for her start-up company!  Voting ends on September 3rd, so you’ll be my BEST FRIEND FOREVER if you vote for her!

It’s just ONE click – they don’t ask for your email address or any info – you don’t have to read or watch anything, just ONE click!


Just scroll beneath the video and click VOTE.

Now that you’ve voted (you DID vote, right? hopeful puppy dog eyes) — if you’re interested to know HOW she made it to the finals, here’s the scoop…

How Hannah Made it to the Finals!

Raised in Austin, Hannah works her ass off in high school – exceptional grades, sports awards, musician, drum major, student government, phenomenal SAT scores.

(Oh, cut it out, Hannah, you’re makin’ the rest of us look bad! — Ha!  But you can’t even resent her, because she’s so damn nice & funny & friendly.)

So she’s accepted to all sorts of stellar universities and gets excited about venturing off into the great big wide world.

BUT…the university that offers her a full scholarship is located in…you guessed it – Austin.

Argh!  She’d hoped to travel beyond her hometown for college.  But it’s smart to save money with free tuition at University of Texas at Austin – and she figures maybe she can study abroad a semester.

So she starts college, plays women’s club soccer, joins the Texas Spirits, kicks ass in her classes, and –

flies to South Africa for a semester abroad, working with underprivileged children.

(So her idea of adventure is zipping to another continent, helping kids, visiting South African huts, eating local cuisine, and participating in foreign customs.  When I was in college, we considered it adventurous to go to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show and throw toast at each other.  I’m so lame!)

SO THEN…in 2011, she tells her college advisor that she’d like to write her senior thesis on K-Pop’s burgeoning growth into international markets.

Her advisor’s expression: “What’s K-Pop?”

Hannah explains K-Pop is a fascinating subculture of Korean pop music that’s expanding far beyond its own borders, into English-speaking countries.

Hannah popmedley

A year later, Korean pop star Psy releases “Gangnam Style,” which EXPLODES into the marketplace, racking up the MOST VIEWS EVER in the history of YouTube with 2.4 BILLION VIEWS!

Hannah Gangnam Style

Hmm, psychic much?

And Psy is just one of the many amazing K-Pop stars to cross over.

Hannah popgirls generation

To enhance her abilities, Hannah learns to fluently speak, read, and write Korean.

She spends a semester in Korea and publishes an award-winning undergraduate thesis entitled, “The History, Development, and Future of K-Pop and the Korean Music Industry,” which draws attention from Billboard Magazine.

Billboard Korea invites Hannah to intern in Seoul during the summer of 2013!

Hannah popconcert

During her semester and summer internship in Korea, Hannah forms close relationships with industry professionals and K-Pop stars.  She graduates University of Texas at Austin with flying colors.

Hannah popexo 2

The next year she interns in the International Marketing department of Sony Music, where she learns the intricacies of the global music industry.

Hannah popsuperjuino

And oh yeah – she graduates in May 2015 from NYU with a Master’s in Music Business!


While studying the music industry, Hannah notices a serious lack of fast, reliable English-language information about K-Pop for the millions of world-wide fans who don’t speak Korean.

Hannah fans

We’re all familiar with the rabid fans of our American pop stars – just look at the Twitter followers of Katy Perry (74 million); Justin Bieber (66 million), Taylor Swift (62 million), Rihanna (50 million), etc.

The K-Pop fans are just as fanatical, rabid, and desperate for interviews, photos, and information about their beloved pop stars as the fans of American pop stars.

And K-Pop fans from USA, Canada, England, Ireland, Australia, etc. are ESPECIALLY desperate for ENGLISH-language information about their favorite K-Pop groups.

So Hannah creates moonROK, the world’s premier source of K-Pop news and entertainment.  She and her cofounder make deals with the major Korean media companies so that they immediately send their breaking news stories to moonROK for translation into English for publication on the moonROK site and social media channels.

Hannah MoonROK sign

Hannah also provides fresh new content for the fans with her personal interviews of K-Pop stars, reviews of songs and albums, and coverage of live concerts and K-Con conferences.

Hannah Interview Sunglasses

Hannah Interview Lady

Hannah works tirelessly to grow moonROK and diversify its offering to K-Pop fans to include more news, entertainment, and services.

Hannah Interview Blonde

Then Hannah enters the MBJ Launchpad Competition 2015 which rewards entrepreneurs with $150,000 non-equity contribution to the growth of the business.

Hannah’s MoonROK makes it to the top 20 finalists!

Based on votes, the top FOUR candidates will fly to London to present their companies to the judges.  Then the winner receives the $150,000 contribution (rough equivalent of £100,000 English pounds) to invest in the growth of their company.  Hannah really needs that money to invest in more translators, video reporting crews, and marketing to share moonROK with more K-Pop fans.

You don’t HAVE to watch her video to vote for her enterpreneurial idea, but you may WANT to watch it, ’cause it’s really cool!

So there you have it – the scoop on Hannah – how hard work, intelligence, creativity, and boldness catapulted her to the FINALS!  Please help us get her all the way to the TOP!

Vote HERE!

I’m so crazy proud of my niece and all her accomplishments!  Thank you for letting this auntie brag about her — and thank you for voting for her!

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

— Darcy Perdu


LaunchPad notified her this morning that they decided to bring 5 groups (not 4) to London for the final presentations, and they’ll choose the $150,000 winner from those 5!  Hannah’s moonROK is one of the 5 groups!  Hallelujah!  THANK YOU to all of you who voted!  We’re so excited for Hannah!  Fingers crossed for the October London presentation!

Five Travel Hacks You’ll Love

Spring is finally here, and I’m teaming up with Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus to share five travel hacks that you’ll love, along with a great giveaway offer. One lucky winner will take home a Travel Pack from Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus valued at $150 (including a $50 Target gift card!)

Spring is finally here, and I’m teaming up with Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus to share five travel hacks that you’ll love, along with a great giveaway offer. One lucky winner will take home a Travel Pack from Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus valued at $150 (including a $50 Target gift card!)

Five Travel Hacks You’ll Love

Downey Large Image

1. Roll; Don’t Fold
As you pack, roll your clothes instead of folding them. You’ll be able to fit up to two times the amount of clothing by rolling them as you would by folding them.

2. Pack your “Iron”
And by iron, we mean Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus. The 3 oz travel size meets airline standards. Slip it into your carry-on bag, and with a simple spray, you’ll be wrinkle free all trip long. (It’s also a great fabric refresher if you have to wear your clothes more than once on vacation.) Click here to read more and grab a coupon.

3. Bring an Empty Water Bottle
After you get through security, several airports have filtered water stands to fill your bottle. You’ll also find that most airport cafes will gladly fill your water bottle as well.

4. Snap a Picture
If you’re checking your luggage, snap a picture of your suitcase contents before you leave the house. If the airline loses your luggage, you’ll be able to use the picture to prove the value of the contents.

5. BYO Blanket
Blankets on airlines are hard to come by these days – and they’re not always washed between flights. If you tend to get cold on planes, or you’re going to be flying overnight, pack your own blanket to stay comfortable.

Enter to Win a Travel Pack from Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus

One lucky winner will receive a travel pack valued at $150, including a travel tote, a Tervis Tumbler, Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus and a $50 Target gift card.

Giveaway ends at midnight on Friday, March 20, 2015. Open to US and Canada.

Complete the form below to enter. Good luck!

Mind Tricks

Helena book two
Helena Hann-Basquait is releasing a new book called Memoirs of a Dilettante, Volume Two, so check out her guest post below and her book links.

Countess Penelope and the Jedi Mind Trick

I walked in on Penny doing something I’ll bet she wishes I hadn’t seen. But still, we all do it, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. There comes a time in everyone’s life when you just need to experiment, to see what your body can do, to learn what you’re capable of, and if you do indeed have mental powers.

Yes, darlings, the Countess Penelope of Arcadia (small little moisture farming community just east of Mos Eisley) was trying to use The Force to move her glass of wine to her hand. When I opened the door, she tried to act all cool, as if she were just stretching to reach it, but I caught her with her eyes closed, breathing calmly and legs crossed in a zen-like yoga fashion, hand outstretched and trembling slightly.

“What are you doing?” I asked with a knowing grin.

“Nothing,” Penny said, clumsily knocking over her wine glass. “Oh, now look what you’ve made me do. Dammit, Helena, that’s alcohol abuse!”

“Gee, I’m sorry, Darth Penelopecus. Looks like you maybe should have stayed in Dagobah and finished your training instead of running off to the Cloud City to try to rescue your friends.”

“Hey, you know what? Maybe that explains it,” Penny suggested.

“Explains what?”

“Bear with me, Helena,” Penny began.

“I always do, darling.”

“Kayso, if you could have Jedi powers, what would you do with them?”

“I already told you, darling – I don’t like those movies. And I especially don’t like the new episodes. I’d really rather not talk about it.”

Penny gave me a look that told me that we were going to talk about it.

“Fine,” I sighed in resignation. “Well, as far as Jedi powers go, I mean, you have to give me some guidelines. I mean, are we talking the original trilogy – the ability to move things with my mind if I concentrate enough, or are we talking the ridiculously powerful abilities of the Jedi from the prequels. In those movies, Yoda bounces around like a three year old on a sugar bender, and the Jedi practically fly. But in the original three, Luke Skywalker – supposedly a very powerful Jedi – at best leaps out of the carbon-freezing chamber. Now either George Lucas was just drunk on the power of new filming technology and just completely lost his mind, or else…”

“Or else we can only come to the conclusion that in the final analysis, Luke Skywalker was the worst Jedi the universe has ever seen. And why would that be?”

“I’m sure you are going to tell me,” I said, trying to keep a straight face.

“Because he didn’t finish his training!” Penny cried, and pointed to the door. “Now, if you please? I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Okay,” I said with a sly smile, “but I still say you’d have more luck trying to something-else-ate.”

“Wow,” the Countess replied. “Sounds like someone really needs-a-date.”

“I do,” I sighed. “I really do.”

I stood in the doorway for a moment, thinking.

“What are you still doing here?” Penny asked snarkily.

“Well, don’t you want your answer? What I’d do with Jedi powers?”

“Nope,” she replied, and waved her hand at me slowly. “You will bring me more wine now.”

“No,” I said, turning off her lights and leaving her in the dark and walking away. “No, I don’t think I will.”

“Helena!” She called after me. “Helena, turn the lights back on! I’m in the dark here!


“Hey, don’t be too proud of your technological terror, Helena! The ability to turn off the lights is insignificant compared to the power of The Force!”

I just laughed diabolically as I continued to walk away. I may not be a Jedi, but I’m the master of the mind trick. Weak-minded fools, beware.

If you want to read more, BECOME A FAN at PUBSLUSH and pre-order Memoirs of a Dilettante Volume Two and Penelope, Countess of Arcadia

Available now! image06 JESSICA image07

The one, the only Helena Hann-Basquiat, everyone's favorite dilettanteThe enigmatic Helena Hann-Basquiat dabbles in whatever she can get her hands into just to say that she has.

Some people attribute the invention of the Ampersand to her, but she has never made that claim herself.

Last year, she published Memoirs of a Dilettante Volume One, and is about to release Volume Two, along with a Shakespearean style tragi-comedy, entitled Penelope, Countess of Arcadia.

Helena writes strange, dark fiction under the name Jessica B. Bell. VISCERA, a collection of strange tales, will be published by Sirens Call Publications later this year. Find more of her writing at or and Connect with her via Twitter @HHBasquiat , and keep up with her ever growing body of work at GOODREADS, or visit her AMAZON PAGE

WOOD You Like a WOOD Watch? I’m Giving Away a Brand New $129 Wood Watch!

So then…a guy named Paul emails me to ask if I’d like a wood watch.

First of all, who the hell is Paul?

And second, there can’t possibly be watches made out of WOOD!

I scan the room, left to right, looking for the cameras that are surely punking me.

I figure I should respond with something like, “Sure, Paul (if that’s your real name), I WOOD love a WOOD watch, if they really exist!” (see what I did there?)

But first I click the Jord company link — and HOLY HELLWOOD watches!

And they’re gorgeous! I glimpse a sweet little cherry number called the Ely.

Jord Ely WatchSo now I’m like, “OK, Paul, New Best Friend, what’s the scoop, baby?”

Turns out, Awesome Paul offers to provide a free watch for me – AND a free watch for one of you!

Just enter the Giveaway below – and the winner will receive a Jord wood watch gift certificate worth $129 plus free shipping!

They have a wide array of styles for men and women – and 12 models cost $129 or less, so you’ll be sure to find something to suit your taste – or for a gift for someone!

Awesome Paul works for Jord, a collective of artists, designers, and seasoned watchsmiths whose style is guided by a deep appreciation for natural elements and modern design. Their timepieces are sustainable, efficient, and simple.

Paul even set it up so that if you click the Jord ad on my site to buy watches for yourself and others, then I get ONE MEEELLION DOLLARS!

(Wait, what’s that, Paul? Oh, that ad just gets me a small commission per watch sold? Oh. So how many watches would need to sell before I earned ONE MEEELLION DOLLARS? Oh, I see.)

OK, folks, you’re gonna have to buy a helluva lot of watches for me to earn that kind of smack, so get busy! Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, Hanukkah, Bastille Day – watches for everybody! And of course Arbor Day because hellooo — wood watches come from trees! And naturally, wood watches are perfect President’s Day gifts – how better to honor George Washington’s wooden choppers than by dispensing wooden watches? Of course people give gifts on President’s Day!  Were you raised in a barn?

So then Paul sends me the Ely – which is smokin’ hot on my delicate thin wrist.
Jord Watch on Wrist
(OK – my pale hairy slightly man-ish wrist – but still – awesome!)

The face looks cool –

The clasp is clever and comfortable –

And I love the conversation piece of wearing a WOOD watch!

So if you’d like one of these hot little puppies on your delicate wrist, enter the Giveaway below!

The lucky winner will be announced on — (wait, let me check the date on my WOOD watch) – March 18!

Thank you, Paul and Jord Watches, for sharing these cool timepieces with us!

— Darcy Perdu

If you enjoyed this post, you can receive NEW funny posts by subscribing HERE!

(Now please leave a nice comment so Paul and Jord think I have a HUGE MASSIVE FABULOUS following! Thank you!)

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Power Up, Mamas!

myCharge Giveaway

The awesome team at myCharge would like to offer cool prizes to some lucky winners, so check out their new raffle in this sponsored post!  Then check out the funny story at the end of this post!

The kids are back to school, but Moms know that’s only the beginning! Now that the school year is in full swing, there’s no slowing down. In fact, things can start getting pretty hectic this time of year between your work and your kid’s homework, after-school clubs and sports, music lessons and carpools, birthday parties and play dates…the list goes on and on!

Even the most organized Mom will tell you things can change at the last minute, and Moms of all people can’t afford to run out of power…we mean for your phone or tablet, of course! myCharge knows how important it is for you to stay charged and connected all day – and all school year – long, so they’re giving the gift of portable power so you’re never left in the red!

To keep you charged and connected myCharge is giving 3 lucky winners each an iPad mini with a myCharge HUB 6000 portable charger! The amazingly compact Hub 6000 features built-in cables and connectors for smartphones, tablets, e-readers and more. Get up to 27 hours of additional talk time for your devices, as well as integrated, quick-charge wall prongs. The Hub series is commonly known as the “Swiss Army Knife of portable power devices.

myCharge HUB6000

Additionally, 40 winners will each receive an Energy Shot compact portable charger for their smartphones that delivers an additional boost when you need it most. They come in a variety of styles and can give you up to 10 hours of talk time! (Please note, smart phone not included in giveaway).

myCharge Energy ShotSo Moms, stay out of the red this school year! myCharge is here to keep you charged and connected! For more information on products visit the myCharge website or follow them on Facebook. You can find myCharge products available at retailers such as Target and Kohl’s.

Fill out the entry form below September 15, 2014 – October 15, 2014 for your chance to be one of 40 winners to receive an Energy Shot Charger (10 winners randomly selected each week) and one of 3 grand prize winners randomly selected on October 15, 2014 to receive one iPad Mini with a myCharge HUB 6000 portable charger. Entrants must be at least 18 years of age or older, must live in the United States and have a valid shipping address. See giveaway form for complete list of rules and details.

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This is a sponsored post from myCharge.

You KNOW you’ll need to POWER UP to deal with all the school projects this year — especially when something like THIS happens…CLICK HERE

His Friend’s Mom Gave Us SHOCKING News —

But My Son is Still Oblivious!

International Fair Hearing the News Color Shelly 5.22.13

Welcome to So Then Stories: Hilarious True Tales

Do you enjoy Hilarious True Tales about embarrassing kids, exasperating coworkers, vexing relationships, and the ever-perplexing public?  Then you'll LOVE!  Come laugh with us!  #funny #kids #office #husbands #humor

Hey, pull up a bar stool and let’s swap funny stories about our embarrassing kids, exasperating coworkers, vexing relationships, and the ever-perplexing public!  This is where I share my bodacious blunders and hilarious true tales – and invite YOU to share YOUR related experiences – so the laughs just keep rolling!

“Hmm,” you may ask, “Are you really funny?”  Well, not to brag (omg, I’m TOTALLY bragging!), but I won 1st Place in the 2014 Nat. Society of Newspaper Columnists competition (Blog Category under 100,000 monthly visitors) – and I won 2 Humor VOTY Awards at BlogHer in 2013 & 2014.  I was even named Humor Writer of August 2014 by Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop!  Woot! Woot!

So pull up a bar stool and start laughing! 
Click the image below to read now – or PIN for later!

TOTALLY Embarrassed in Front of Dr. Fancypants! HILARIOUS True Tale #doctor #medical #embarrassing #funny #teens

Click the image below to read now – or PIN for later!

Telling His Teacher a Big Fat Juicy Lie!  #funny #boys #teacher #school #humor

Click the image below to read now – or PIN for later!

BOOBIE-trapped -- LITERALLY & Hilariously! True tale when my boob got trapped in...well, you gotta click it to find out! #funny #embarrassing #mammogram #fireman

Click the image below to read now – or PIN for later!

Oh, She Did NOT Just Say That! #funny #school #drama #volunteer #pta #pisces #cosmetics #hair #humor

If you enjoy quick hilarious true tales like these, then please pop your email address right HERE so you won’t miss any of my new funny stories!  I LOVE subscribers!

Thanks!  Darcy Perdu

MakeMeChic Fashion

Check out these tips from new sponsor, a great fashion site with unique and bold clothing and accessories!

7 Ways to Avoid Wardrobe Malfunction

Wardrobe malfunction is serious business, people. Avoid the embarrassment of a tragic fashion mishap! From donning a low-cut neckline to wearing chunky heel booties, we’ll give you some tips on how to avoid getting caught in one of fashion’s worst crimes.

1. Always get the right shoe size, especially when you’re wearing chunky heel booties. Chunky heels are usually heavy, especially when they’re made of lug soles. Avoid the “Ronald McDonald Big Shoes” look. Instead, rock a towering pair of booties that look just right for your size.

MakeMeChic Britney 380

2. Unless you’re releasing your newest single, you probably want to avoid the nip slip. Wear a fitted bra all the time. If you’re wearing a sheer top, an inner camisole will do the job to conceal bra lines. Or sew pads on a backless dress since nipple tape isn’t always reliable!

3. Never fall prey to an “Anne Hathaway” moment. At the premiere of Les Miserables, she was probably mortified when the paparazzi took photos of her most treasured body part. Here’s a tip: wear underwear. If you hate panty lines when wearing something fitted, opt for a thong or seamless boyleg underwear.

MakeMeChic Sweater Marks

4. Dodge deodorant marks by ensuring your underarms are completely dry before putting on your top. If not, you can use baby wipes to remove the deodorant marks on your clothing.

5. Evade wet clothes under your arms by using a strong deodorant. If you have active sweat glands, try an anti-perspirant from the men’s section.

6. Is the wind too strong while you’re wearing a flowy dress or skirt? Be sure to wear boyleg legging shorts in basic colors like white, cream or black. So even if you get the upskirt moment, it won’t be a full-blown embarrassment. You’ll still have the goodies covered.

MakeMeChic Princess 380

7. If you love wearing fitted and body-hugging clothes to showcase your sexy silhouette, don shapewear underneath to hide any bumps or lumps. You’ll look and feel much sleeker.

Who’s the Guilty Culprit?

So then…I’m walking downstairs, happy as a clam, in my lovely clean house – picture me, carefree and cheerful, just ambling along to an upbeat music soundtrack in my mind, with little Disney animated bluebirds sitting on my shoulder — lala lalala lala la —

when SUDDENLY I see a long streak of boogies on my white wall.

SCREECH! The music stops, the amble halts, the bluebirds fall from my shoulders in a stunned heap on the stairs.


Who was walking up these stairs, gathered a whole mess o’ snot, and thought, “Oh, I’ll just put this HERE” ???

On my wall. My white wall. My previously pristine white wall.

Being the delicate flower that I am — I bellow, “WHO WIPED THEIR BOOGERS ON THIS WALL?”

Three voices call out:
“Not me.”
“Not me.”
“Not me.”

Oh really? Only 4 of us live here. And I don’t think this is the handiwork of the AC repair guy who visited last week.

I will DNA this snot so fast your head will spin. Get the forensics tech out here STAT!

(But I fear the homicide department probably has more critical mysteries to solve than who smeared nose juice on my house wall.)

So I’ll solicit your assistance to unmask the guilty culprit.


The daughter (age 5): Playful, darling, funny, girly — has been known to sport a dirty nose from time to time, but if she graces a wall — it’s more likely to be glitter, lipstick, or colored markers.

The dad: Funny, clever, and well-experienced in handling one’s own nasal emissions.

The mom: Brilliant, gorgeous and charming, if I do say so myself. Has NEVER had a dirty nose. Also does not poop, pee, or pass wind. She would NEVER sully her beloved white walls with ANYTHING.

The son (age 8): Energetic, creative, funny, certainly old enough to know better, but has demonstrated a history of inappropriate choices in regard to bodily functions – i.e. pardon me, pool guests, I’ll just take a whiz over here in the hydrangeas — or hey, pull my finger — no seriously pull my finger — it’s gonna be HILARIOUS!

So what do you think? Who’s the dirty lil boogie man?

Ding ding ding!

You guessed it! The son! The son, I tell you!

I prepare for an exhaustive grueling interrogation — carefully gathering irrefutable evidence about his means, motive, and opportunity —

But as soon as he sees the crime scene, he readily confesses with a shrug and a goofy grin. (Of course, not grinning quite so much when he realizes the sentence is cleaning it up, while enduring a lengthy but eloquent lecture on handling one’s nasal output.)

So if you happen to have a dirty lil boogie man — or boogie girl — in your house, you might want to enter the Boogie Wipes raffle for eight $50 gift cards and Boogie Wipes Prize Packs.

You’ll receive even more chances to win by liking the Facebook pages of the bloggers below.

This post is sponsored, but all opinions (and snot) belong to me and my boogie son.

— Darcy Perdu

Brighten your inbox with new posts each week by subscribing right HERE.

(Any surprising “gifts” you find around your house, courtesy of kids, pets, or the air conditioning repair guy? There are about 87 expressions to let someone know their fly is open — but what’s the best phrase to let someone know they need to take care of their nasal business?)

In celebration of Great Grape Boogie Wipes being sold at Walmart, I’m teaming up with Boogie Wipes to offer the Great Grape Summer Giveaway!

It's a Great Grape Summer celebration! Enter to Win a $50 Walmart gift card and a Boogie Wipes prize pack. One winner each week for the next 8 weeks. Enter now!

One winner will be drawn each week for the next eight weeks and will receive a $50 Walmart gift card and a Boogie Wipes prize pack.

How to Enter

From following some of our favorite bloggers on social media to instagramming a picture of your Great Grape purchase at Walmart, there are dozens of ways to enter – and a few ways to enter every single day.

Check back throughout the next eight weeks to enter again and see if you won!

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Want to have more fun this summer?

Visit the Boogie Wipes blog for all sorts of summer fun ideas – including Sidewalk Chalk Recipes, Crafts and Games to Play with Pool Noodles and DIY Board Games (for when it rains).

Good luck!

Giveaway is live Tuesday, July 8, 2014 until midnight on Tuesday, September 2, 2014. US and Canada residents only. One winner will be chosen each week and will be notified via email. So Then Stories received no compensation for sponsoring this event, and is not responsible for the delivery of the prize. Prize delivery is the sole responsibility of Boogie Wipes.

Gone Baby Gone

Gone Fishing 350

Oh, let’s be honest — Gone DRINKIN’!

Off to a beach vacation!  So while I’m off chugging cocktails, dodging sharks, and flashing my tatas at unsuspecting tourists…

Enjoy these chuckle-worthy gems that you likely missed the first time around.

Just click the 3 images below — and tell me which one is your favorite!

And tell me your favorite beach drink!

Would-be robbers: beware! Our house-sitters are feisty ninja warriors with anger-management issues.

Stop robbing houses and start reading my funny stories instead!

Darcy Perdu

Mister, Please, Do NOT Put That in Your Mouth! #funny #shocking #embarrassing

Funny Run-In with Cops #smartass #funny #cops

Naked Stranger in my Shower! #funny #dating #roommates #naked

Hilariously Inappropriate Father’s Day Gift

So then…I stumble upon a BRILLIANT business idea while perusing potential Father’s Day Gifts. And if you recall the idea from last year, where the hell is your investment check for my SPECTACULAR invention? Mama needs seed money, yo. I need to Shark Tank this shit, fo’ sho’ –

Click HERE for HILARIOUSLY INAPPROPRIATE Father’s Day Gift — and my NEW start-up business. Seeking visionary investors…

Boob Tube for Men Sacha Baron Cohen

Even Sacha Baron Cohen gives two thumbs up!

— Darcy Perdu

For more ludicrous posts, put your email here.

Retro Prom & Cutting-Edge Writers

Blog U 430
So then…I see another posting about another blogger friend going to the Blog U conference this June – and I snap!

I just can’t take it anymore! Everyone’s going to have so much fun without me!

So…I register!

I was on the fence so long about whether or not I should attend since it’s across the country.

Then I saw the faculty of Blog U, which is literally rife with many of my favorite writers.

And the attendee list is chock full of my blogger pals from cyber space.

And sites I’d love to write for (HuffPost and NickMom) are sponsors.

And the schedule is jam-packed with great sessions.

And Saturday night is a RETRO PROM!

How could I resist?!

I’m so excited to join the cool kids at Blog U for an awesome weekend of laughing, learning, and liberal libations!

There’s still time to register by May 15, bloggers — so take the plunge and join us!

— Darcy Perdu

Madcapping Adventure

Madcapping Adventure
So then…I fake a ghastly gastro-intestinal malady to exit work early, grab a cab to my apartment, and throw together a couple ensembles appropriate for the flash and dazzle of Vegas. Hey, why spend a lonesome weekend in my New York apartment when I can surprise my boyfriend on his business trip at a big casino hotel?

I board the flight with much excitement. Here I am, madcap gal, flitting cross-country for the weekend! I am spontaneous! I am wild! I am…actually…exhausted. How long is this flight? Finally, I land in Sin City, ready to Sin. In the lobby, I call my boyfriend’s hotel room but no one answers. Hmm. Perhaps surprising him was not such a good idea after all. I call again. Still no answer. I had not planned on this.

Plan? Plan? Madcap gals do not plan!

So I charge over to the registration desk and request a key for my “husband’s” room, certain he’d be pleased with the instant promotion. And wonder of wonders, the clerk gives it to me! I’m amazed he does not require documentation of some kind before so blithely passing over a hotel key! But hey, this is Vegas.

I zip down the hall, eager to freshen up before searching for my soon-to-be-surprised paramour. But as I approach the door to his room, I hear voices. My key poised just above the lock, I pause. There is only one reason you do not answer your hotel room phone when you are in your hotel room.

Oh…my…God. He’s in there with some blonde blackjack dealer. He is having sex. He is…shooting guns. Shooting guns? Wait. Car crash. Sirens. Oh, thank God. It’s the TV! He left the TV on! I quickly enter the empty room. What was I thinking? He would never shoot guns while having sex.

So I look in the mirror, as I am wont to do occasionally, OK, frequently, OK, obsessively. And I notice that the cross-country trip and near brush with infidelity have taken a toll. If I hurry, I can shower and change before my boyfriend returns to his room. Then I can surprise him in clean and glowing splendor.

I strip, rush into the bathroom, slide open the glass shower door, and — CRASH! It smashes into a million shards of glass. Good grief! I didn’t slam it! Now what? I survey the pile of jagged glass. My boyfriend could return to his room at any minute. I can either notify the front desk…or I can succumb to vanity and take a shower anyway.

Cut to: Me showering, gingerly tiptoeing on bath towels covering the broken glass.

Hair dryer. Curling iron. Make-up. Gold-spangled mini dress. I lift the towels to survey the damage, nicking my finger in the process. Damn. Blood on the bath rug, the mini dress, and the curling iron.

OK, now how do I deal with the fact that I broke the hotel’s shower door – AND I’m not even supposed to be in his room in the first place? How much do shower doors cost anyway?

Not feeling so madcap now. Descending in elevator. Descending in mood.

BRAINSTORM! I march over to the front desk and demand the front desk manager’s attention post-haste. “I almost killed myself in your shower!” I exclaim. “Your door shattered into a million pieces and look – the glass slashed my finger!” I thrust my nicked finger in his face, wincing with pain, while still maintaining my accusatory glare. “My husband is NOT going to be happy when he hears about this!”

Cut to: Me, supervising the bellmen packing and moving all my boyfriend’s belongings to our new (and complimentary) hotel suite.

I am ecstatic. I nibble a strawberry from the complimentary fruit basket and sip the complimentary champagne as I lounge on the sumptuous king-size bed, wearing my most revealing nightie, waiting for my honey to enter and enjoy the benefits of my clever madcapping.

Regrettably, he is downstairs in his old room, frantically reporting to hotel security, “I’ve been robbed! And look in the bathroom: Glass everywhere! Blood! I think someone’s been stabbed!”

— Darcy Perdu

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Mister, Please! Do NOT Put That in Your Mouth!

Mister, Please, Do NOT Put That in Your Mouth! #funny #shocking #embarrassing

So then…the doorbell rings and I freeze. He’s here. The exterminator — the pest control guy — the man who will either give me the “all clear” – or notify me that my home is infested with rodents, which will FREAK ME THE HELL OUT.

I open the door and start babbling before he can even introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Darcy. Thanks for coming on short notice. Come in, come in. The kitchen’s right through here. I’m terrified of mice and rats and I’m in a panic that we may have them. We moved in recently and I don’t know, there are big palm trees out there with these dead bushy leaves coming down – and someone told me rats LIVE in those leaves, but now I think they’re coming into my house—” My voice goes up in a high-pitched note of hysteria.

The burly pest control guy in his dark green uniform asks, “Where do you think you have mice?”

I open the kitchen cabinet and make a disgusted face. I whisper, “I found mice poop IN my kitchen cabinet!!” I want to gag just thinking about how long mice have been skittering over the dishes and plates that WE EAT OFF OF!! (I’m so upset, I don’t even care that I ended my sentence with a preposition!)

The exterminator looks at the little brown mice poop pellets, then looks around the cabinets a bit. I’m standing to his side, ready to bolt the instant a furry little creature rears his hideous little head.

The pest control guy leans over the little poop pellets, sniffs, then puts his finger on a couple of them and PUTS THEM IN HIS MOUTH.


I am stunned. What kind of weirdo freaky exterminator is this? Who have I invited into my home? Maybe he just poses as an exterminator so he can eat mice feces! He will probably kill me now and boil my head for dinner!

“What are you doing?” I sputter.

“You don’t have mice,” he says, pointing to the poop pellets. “You have chocolate sprinkles.”

Oh, Good Lord.

I look closer. He’s right.

I had made cupcakes a while ago with chocolate sprinkles, but all the baking supplies are in the pantry. I don’t know how some of the sprinkles got into the dishes cabinet – but I’ve never been so happy to see a baking condiment in my life!

“So no mice?” I ask with unbridled joy.

“No mice,” he confirms.

I could have kissed him!

But I didn’t.

Because all I can think is — are there some houses where he tries that little test – and it’s not chocolate sprinkles?

— Darcy Perdu

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(Any interactions with strange service people? Ever embarrassed in front of a repairman or technician? Any good stories about critters? Do tell!)