Awkward Elevator Moment — Me & 4 Stoned, Scantily-Clad Men

So then…I adjust the shoulder strap of my leather briefcase. I’m taking an empty elevator back to my 28th floor hotel room after my business meeting on a sunny afternoon in Las Vegas. Important negotiations with lawyers today — so I’m in my grey business suit, white blouse, stockings, and sensible black pumps. I’m even wearing pearls today, so the corporate-executive look is complete.

The elevator stops on the 5th floor, home of the pools and spa – and in tumble four college kids obviously enjoying Spring Break in Vegas.

These four tall guys are all in swim trunks, tanned and shirtless, wet hair, laughing — and definitely stoned.

It’s just them and me in the elevator.

As the elevator rises, they giggle and whisper and fidget. There’s a small lull of silence and one of them says, “Wow, it smells a little like weed in here.”

They exchange glances and stifle laughter, since the pot aroma is definitely emanating from them – and they’re certain that they’ve shocked me, an uptight corporate woman.

I turn to them and say sincerely, “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s me.”

Startled looks.

I shrug and say, “What’re you gonna do? Long client lunch.” I make the international gesture for toking a joint.

Ding. 28th floor.

I exit to whistles, whoops, and a “Damn — we should party with her!”

— Darcy Perdu

(Any funny elevator stories to share? Or perhaps a funny smokin’-weed story? (Ah, hell, ALL smokin’-weed stories are funny – especially if you ARE smokin’ weed!) Share a comment or story below!)

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18 replies on “Awkward Elevator Moment — Me & 4 Stoned, Scantily-Clad Men

  1. Kate said:

    I teach high school English. My funny weed story is the stunned/amazed look on a student’s face every time I bust them for being high in class. They always want to know, “How could [I] know?!?!”

    Well, kiddo, I’m a real person with a real life, and the good sense to practice my bad habits in my private time. They seem to think that when the school day is over we stuff ourselves into a cupboard and wait for them to come back the next day.

  2. Judy said:

    I’m allergic to pot (and other weeds). So much so, that I joke I should hire myself out to the police as a pot-sniffing dog. As a result I don’t really have any good pot smoking stories but I do enjoy yours.

  3. hahaha Oooh, that’s too funny!

    Years ago when my oldest was newborn, I took the tube downtown to go shopping. First time alone with my first child, so I was a bit nervous. I had to take the elevator up to street level and spotted one of the city’s homeless men. Disheveled and dirty-looking and I imagined he’d stink of urine, would try to mug me, or hurt my baby and all kinds of other sorts of terrible things he could do, so I tried to walk very slowly, letting him take the elevator up alone.

    Of course he spotted me as well and instead of going up alone, he waited for me and held the doors open for me and gestured to me politely that he’d wait for me. I had been told by my older sister who had been around the block and knew about the world, that I should not look at people and particularly not smile at strangers, ever.

    I walked briskly into the elevator and stood staring intensely into the wall. He tried for some polite smalltalk, but I completely ignored him and continued examining the elevator wall.

    When the elevator doors opened, he held the doors for me and while I walked past him, he looked into the stroller and said: “What a beautiful and sweet little baby girl. Certainly nothing like her mother!”

    I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. I apologized for being rude and hurried off.

    Poor old bloke was trying to be polite and I paid him back by being rude and ungrateful.

    • Cara, great story! I love his clever comment! I would have burst out laughing too!

    • WOW, sometimes our better sense isn’t better. That is AWESOME!! Kudos to him and you for finally giving up the good fight and enjoying a good laugh!!

  4. Jasmine said:

    u r the best… seriously LUV U lol

  5. I wish I had a funnier story but here we go..

    One day I was at work (I was an IT guy back then) and I was in the elevator and a bunch of our Spanish-speaking call center girls were in the elevator talking about some other call center girls in Spanish. When I was leaving on my floor, they started to giggle and one said, “OMG do you think he might have understood us”? Being as pasty white as I was, who would have thunk that I would turn around and answer in Spanish… “No, I didn’t understand anything so don’t worry”… as the elevator closed I could hear them roar as they realized what just happened. We all had a good laugh when I saw them later.
    Terry recently posted..2 year Old Picks Lock to Steal Sister’s Toys @ The Feel Good DepotMy Profile

  6. Michelle said:

    I went to Undergrad at Seattle University, and one time my RA and I got into the same elevator and she starts sniffing the air: “Do you smell pot?”

    My response, “Well, this is a college dorm. In Seattle. I always smell pot!”

  7. Love that! Awesome response! I have always wanted to get in a crowded elevator and then when the doors close, say “Okay! Quick! The reason I asked you all to meet me here was…” and then go into a long explanation. It would be interesting to see how many people assumed THEY were in the wrong elevator. Or at least I think it would be interesting!
    Leslie recently posted..Pope WalterMy Profile

  8. I enjoyed getting on a crowded elevator with my wife and once the doors were closed I’d say, “Did you hear that, Mildred, It’s the sound of the cable snapping! My God, do you think we’ll survive the fall?”

    I just called her Mildred on elevators. I don’t think elevators even have cables any more unless they are really old. My pleasure in scaring the hell out of the other people on the elevator would only last a few seconds and I would have to get off and face my wife…..and the music, her music, not the Muzak.

    So then…she says to me, “If you pull that damned stupid stunt one more time, I’ll get the people on the elevator to help me take you to the top floor and throw your dumb ass off….and by the way….my name is not Mildred.”

    That was 20 years ago and it was the last time I chose to amuse myself on an elevator…..when she was along!
    Ben Swilley recently posted..Stop Mass Psychoses – Red Flag the Nut Cases!My Profile

  9. Beth said:

    True story. I was on an elevator with a friend at a meeting in a hotel when a rather large woman wearing a caftan-style muumuu entered. No glances or words were exchanged and when she got off on a floor before my friend and I exited, she left (seriously) a smelly surprise. She had defecated on the elevator. Needless to say, my friend and I, after realizing what had transpired, got off at the next available floor and didn’t ride that particular elevator again! I’d much prefer pot to this alternative…

  10. Annie said:

    hmm, I think I would have followed THOSE guys to their next destination!

    • not a bad idea! partying with scantily-clad men would be way more fun than my next business meeting!

  11. Ian said:

    Last night, 3 of my friends and myself went out for a cruise and smoked. Wasn’t really feeling at all until we got out of the car and started walking back to the dorms, but then it hit us. Hard.

    We were laughing our asses off as we approached doors, but shut up when we realized there were people inside the lobby. So we get on the elevator, and suddenly 2 others, boyfriend and girlfriend I guessed, follow. Then another girl last minute.

    We’re riding to 5, but it takes forever. Then, my friend Ryan starts snickering in the corner, and then Tommy who is in front of him starts snickering back. I start giggling too, and then Will joins in. So, probably similar to what Darcy felt, these people (who obviously knew we were high) were whispering between each other, so I start laughing harder because they know.

    Then, I look down and put my hands over my mouth, trying to calm down a little, and the girl in front of me? Her shoes are untied! I LOSE IT! I can’t even handle this, because I feel the desperate urge to tell her, but you can’t just tell someone “You’re shoes are untied” with a straight face after you’ve been hysterical the past how many minutes without them thinking you’re making some stupid joke.

    At this point, everybody is laughing, us at ourselves, and the others at us. And as it turns out, every body is getting off at 5. We step off, and I brush past this girl, who is actually kind of cute, but I’m losing my chance, so I turn to her in one sharp motion and blurt “Your shoes are untied!” Then I just walk away with my group.

    We unlock the door to the hall just to hear them dying laughing saying “What the f*** just happened?”

    It was a pretty great 2 minutes, and definitely my best pot story so far.

    • Ian, that is so funny! I’m sitting here giggling as I’m reading it! I can just imagine that scene — sounds like everyone enjoyed that elevator ride!