A Mother ALWAYS Knows

School Pictures: Telling My Kid the COLD HARD TRUTH - It Ain't Pretty, Kid!  #funny #school #kids #humor

Examples of School Pics from Around the Country

So then…I slide some of the framed 8” x 10” school photos of my kids aside, so I can reach the book on the top shelf that my daughter Chloe needs.

There are literally years and years of 8” x 10”s cluttering the shelves. For the most part, they are gorgeous — and they are my children, so I cannot bear to put them away.

So I display literally every school photo they have ever taken.

As I hand Chloe the book, I gesture to one particular school photo of her and say, “I’ve always hated that picture.”

Chloe, curious:     Why?

Me:                       Your hair is dirty.

Chloe:                  What? My hair is “dirty?” That picture was taken 4
years ago!
How in the world can you tell if my hair
was dirty that day!?

Me, curling lip:      Oh, I can tell.

— Darcy Perdu

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(Can you tell when YOUR kid’s hair is dirty in school photos? Or when they’ve worn that shirt twice in a row?  As much as you love your children, are there some photos you really DON’T love? What’s your favorite of the 6 fun photos above?  I LOVE the “Crown of Hair” in the upper left corner!)

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21 replies on “A Mother ALWAYS Knows

    • omg, Robyn, that sounds AMAZING! We went to a Catholic all-girls school with blue-plaid uniforms and white shirts, no make-up — they would have fainted dead away if I walked in with multi-colored razor racing stripes!!

  1. My hair is dirty and there’s not a damned thing I can do about it. My husband says he’ll wash it on Thursday, the day I go to the doctor for my first follow-up post Mastectomy.

    Was Chloe asserting her independence and declaring her hair clean and perfect the night before that photo? I have a couple of those :)

    • Suzanne, you have a FABULOUS excuse for having dirty hair right now! Best wishes on your recovery journey!

      As for Chloe, her excuse was something along the lines of: “I’ll take a shower right after this. Well, after this. OK, really, RIGHT after THIS. Oooh, something shiny!”

    • Kat Caldwell said:

      Best wishes for your fight and Thank You to your husband for washing your hair

  2. Lady Anne said:

    We have a *lovely* photo of our youngest, taken in the sixth grade, making the most God-awful “Calvin and Hobbes” type face. When asked why she didn’t smile, she simply replied “I didn’t feel like it.” Talk about the urge to kill.

    • ha! gotta love a kid with enough confidence to simply say: “I didn’t feel like it!” love that!

  3. This reminds me of my grade 1 photo. My mum told me she DID NOT want me letting my teacher curl my hair before we had our pictures taken. But when the hair curler came out, I couldn’t resist. She HATED my photo. And I secretly did too. :)

    • So funny! That’s amazing that they had a curling iron there to let the teachers primp and prep the students!

      My childhood school was much more oblivious about our appearance and just tried to get through the process briskly — like “sit, smile, click, next! sit, smile, click, next!”

      Moms would look at student photos of their wild-haired kids with twisted collars and dangling boogers — and say “Really? REALLY? Did they even LOOK at you before they snapped this photo?”

  4. Judy said:

    My grade school photos all have me looking the same–too small crooked glasses, crooked smile, side hair part with my hair in limp ponytails with those clasps with the two balls. I think my best photo is 7th grade. After that I learned that you could just wander off instead of going into the library where they took the photos.

    In high school a punk rock girl crossed her name out on the paper they gave out and changed it to Sidney Vicious. That’s how she ended up in the yearbook. I was jealous.

    • Had no idea that school pics were optional! Didn’t know I could wander off!
      The move by the punk rock girl was pretty cool, I must admit!

  5. Ellie said:

    I don’t know anything from photos, but I sure can tell when my kids are lying to me. Deep inside me, their reality shines through. They hate my ability, but it’s a wonder to me. Thank goodness for it!

    • Hmm, I need some of your telepathic powers over here. Nobody fesses up to missing treats — (usually they’re in mah belly, but I’ve been really good lately about avoiding Sugar Goodness!) :o)

  6. barbara said:

    I always cringe at the one where my eyebrows are painfully thin.

    • mine are super thin too! I think I over-plucked as a teen — and they ain’t growin’ back!

  7. My middle daughter was a real tomboy she would always come home from school buttons missing from her school shirt and the white shirt would be brown. I think her face is dirty on all her childhood school photos.
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  8. LOL! Those pictures go from hysterical to creepy! The guy with the cat? Oh boy.

    I hated my high school pic. It was a hundred degrees, humid, and the gym had no AC on when they took the pictures. I looked like a drowned rat with an frizzy afro!
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    • ha! I should ask people to send in their photos — it would be pretty funny!

  9. Pattymouth said:

    My friend has 4 daughters and NEVER bought their school photos. Seems incredibly sad to me that she won’t have things like this to look back on and laugh about. . . or show to her daughters’ boyfriends.

    • Well, kids CAN be dirty, messy, sticky, stinky, and smelly — but I love ’em anyways! :o)