So then…I snurkle – which, as everyone knows, is a cross between a snort and a chuckle.
When you see why, I think you’ll snurkle too.
I send this email to a colleague (let’s call him “Bob”):
Malibu Beach is just 20 minutes from my home. I could literally be in the Pacific Ocean in a flash! Does he want me to hop in with my laptop to reply?
Or does he mean like Chandler Bing:
“Could you BE any more pacific?”
Yes, Chandler Bing, I COULD be!
Here I am surrounded by Pacific Islanders.
We shall dance on the beach by the light of the moon, roast a pig, and drink Kava made from the ground root of the pepper shrub.
Now, I don’t know this particular colleague “Bob” very well — but I do know that he is educated — and English is his first language.
So what’s up?
It’s possible he means, “Could you be more specific?” – but that can’t possibly be the case since my email clearly outlines the specific information I’m requesting.
So I can only surmise that my email happened to arrive on his computer screen at the exact moment he realized he was dissatisfied with my ethnicity. “Hmm, I’m not diggin’ her CandyAss Caucasian vibe; I wonder if she could be more Pacific. Let me ask.” So he fired off that email.
I’m not sure exactly how to respond.
Should I reply: “What do you mean?”
Or just write “Sure!” and send him the photos above?
Or perhaps, “Please be more Atlantic.”
Or “Please be more specific.”
Or maybe just toss out something random like, “Please be more Presbyterian.”
Or something annoying like, “Please be more accurate in your email responses.”
But I certainly wouldn’t want to offend, since there’s a chance he did mean to write “specific” – and something got in the way – like spell check or day drinking.
So I shall let you decide the best response.
If someone wrote you an email saying, “Please be more pacific” – how would you reply?
— Darcy Perdu
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(When you saw his response, did you snurkle? How would YOU respond to his email?)