So then…I’m walking downstairs, happy as a clam, in my lovely clean house – picture me, carefree and cheerful, just ambling along to an upbeat music soundtrack in my mind, with little Disney animated bluebirds sitting on my shoulder — lala lalala lala la —
when SUDDENLY I see a long streak of boogies on my white wall.
SCREECH! The music stops, the amble halts, the bluebirds fall from my shoulders in a stunned heap on the stairs.
WHAT THE WHAT?
Who was walking up these stairs, gathered a whole mess o’ snot, and thought, “Oh, I’ll just put this HERE” ???
On my wall. My white wall. My previously pristine white wall.
Being the delicate flower that I am — I bellow, “WHO WIPED THEIR BOOGERS ON THIS WALL?”
Three voices call out:
Oh really? Only 4 of us live here. And I don’t think this is the handiwork of the AC repair guy who visited last week.
I will DNA this snot so fast your head will spin. Get the forensics tech out here STAT!
(But I fear the homicide department probably has more critical mysteries to solve than who smeared nose juice on my house wall.)
So I’ll solicit your assistance to unmask the guilty culprit.
The daughter (age 5): Playful, darling, funny, girly — has been known to sport a dirty nose from time to time, but if she graces a wall — it’s more likely to be glitter, lipstick, or colored markers.
The dad: Funny, clever, and well-experienced in handling one’s own nasal emissions.
The mom: Brilliant, gorgeous and charming, if I do say so myself. Has NEVER had a dirty nose. Also does not poop, pee, or pass wind. She would NEVER sully her beloved white walls with ANYTHING.
The son (age 8): Energetic, creative, funny, certainly old enough to know better, but has demonstrated a history of inappropriate choices in regard to bodily functions – i.e. pardon me, pool guests, I’ll just take a whiz over here in the hydrangeas — or hey, pull my finger — no seriously pull my finger — it’s gonna be HILARIOUS!
So what do you think? Who’s the dirty lil boogie man?
Ding ding ding!
You guessed it! The son! The son, I tell you!
I prepare for an exhaustive grueling interrogation — carefully gathering irrefutable evidence about his means, motive, and opportunity —
But as soon as he sees the crime scene, he readily confesses with a shrug and a goofy grin. (Of course, not grinning quite so much when he realizes the sentence is cleaning it up, while enduring a lengthy but eloquent lecture on handling one’s nasal output.)
So if you happen to have a dirty lil boogie man — or boogie girl — in your house, you might want to enter the Boogie Wipes raffle for eight $50 gift cards and Boogie Wipes Prize Packs.
You’ll receive even more chances to win by liking the Facebook pages of the bloggers below.
This post is sponsored, but all opinions (and snot) belong to me and my boogie son.
— Darcy Perdu
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(Any surprising “gifts” you find around your house, courtesy of kids, pets, or the air conditioning repair guy? There are about 87 expressions to let someone know their fly is open — but what’s the best phrase to let someone know they need to take care of their nasal business?)
In celebration of Great Grape Boogie Wipes being sold at Walmart, I’m teaming up with Boogie Wipes to offer the Great Grape Summer Giveaway!
One winner will be drawn each week for the next eight weeks and will receive a $50 Walmart gift card and a Boogie Wipes prize pack.
How to Enter
From following some of our favorite bloggers on social media to instagramming a picture of your Great Grape purchase at Walmart, there are dozens of ways to enter – and a few ways to enter every single day.
Check back throughout the next eight weeks to enter again and see if you won!
Want to have more fun this summer?
Giveaway is live Tuesday, July 8, 2014 until midnight on Tuesday, September 2, 2014. US and Canada residents only. One winner will be chosen each week and will be notified via email. So Then Stories received no compensation for sponsoring this event, and is not responsible for the delivery of the prize. Prize delivery is the sole responsibility of Boogie Wipes.