What the Hell Is He TALKING About?

Red Lamp
So then…David and I eat breakfast at the kitchen table.

David: Did you see that detective show the other day?

Me: The one with the red lamp?

David: Yeah.

Me: Yeah, what about it?

David: That’s all.

Me: That’s all? What do you mean: “That’s all?” Why did you bring it up?

David: I was trying to make small talk.

Me: And that was it? “Did you see a TV show the other day?” “Yeah.” “OK.”  That was it? You didn’t have any follow-up planned? What kind of small talk is that?

David (laughing): Pretty small, I guess.

— Darcy Perdu

(Ever run out of conversation topics with your mate? Who’s best at small talk at your house? What’s your lamest conversation-opener?  Any tips on a great way to get the dialogue going?  Share in the Comments Section.)

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24 replies on “What the Hell Is He TALKING About?

  1. Chris B said:

    Presumably, the red lamp was somehow essential to the plot; or, is home decor a typical conversation point in your home? ;-)

    • Ha! Nope, home decor is not typical convo over here.

  2. He could have said, “Hey….remember my secretary?” That would have been WAY worse.

    • omigod — just snorted through my nose! yes, that would have been WAY worse!

  3. I think my boyfriend and I have come to love the silence and don’t ever try for small talk anymore. But if a situation comes up for small talk, I always bring up my blog. (total nerd, I know.)

    • ha! I bring up my blog to my daughter and she doesn’t seem near as fascinated by the comments I receive as I am! But she reads some of her tween texts out loud to me, so I guess we’re even!

  4. Bahahahahaha! I’m more of the type who starts a conversation and forgets halfway through what my point was. Sadly, this happens way too frequently. Sigh.
    Dani Ryan recently posted..Old people are funnyMy Profile

    • Me too! Sometimes when I start talking, he will say reluctantly, “is this gonna be a whole PARAGRAPH?” — and I’m thinking, “dude, this is gonna be like an epic poem — like Iliad and Odyssey — with character changes, subplots, and hopscotching through different time periods!”

  5. Judy said:

    I think David deserves points for trying. My husband never says what he means or gets to his topic so round about you have no clue what he’s talking about. He also likes to ask the cat things he really should be asking me. “So, cat, are you making dinner?” I told a friend this and she asked why he was so afraid of me and did I beat him? I think I might have to start.

    • Ha! Would love to know if the cat ever replies!

  6. Sounds like 90 percent of my husband’s conversations with me except I am the one that produces cryptic one liners

  7. Caitlin said:

    I’m okay with companionable silence, and am fine with reading or zoning out. The Gerbil likes to wait until we are trapped in the car with her until she begins an epic saga involving our two dogs, who speak in high-pitched squeaky voices, which she invariably confuses, and who must battle a cold blooded animal that we have to suggest. These adventures usually involve a musical number or two, and may involve cameos from other family members’ dogs. Whichever parent isn’t driving usually feigns deaths to get her to JUST STOP TALKING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

    • That’s hysterical! I want to go on road trips with her! She sounds very entertaining. Start recording her — and pitch her ideas for TV shows!

    • Oh, this made me laugh. Simply because hubby and I are very quiet – naturally. And naturally we’d be given a daughter who could talk a hind leg off a donkey, and then still some. And I find myself saying, or thinking, just stop talking. Just for five seconds – and off she goes again. But, she does make us laugh. Alot. So that does make up for us missing the silence… :-) LOL
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    • Ha! Great idea! I’ll text him pictures of red lamps!

    • ha! he and I would get along great — I love to yakkety-yak all day too!

    • ha! Nichole, that’s so funny – it’s obviously a conversation-starter!

  8. Frankie said:

    I guess the Detective show wasn’t all that interesting since you started your conversation with the red lamp. Must have been a nice lamp