Um…Is She HITTING on Me?

So then…my friend Lindsey follows me upstairs to my bedroom.

(Oh, git yer mind out da gutter! It ain’t THAT kinda story!)

I want to show her the 8 giant wine glasses in my closet in case she’d like to use them for centerpieces for a party she’s planning.

Funny - Is She Hitting on Me Crop Small
(OF COURSE I use these to drink my wine. All 8 glasses. Simultaneously.)

So as she follows me upstairs into my bedroom, over to the alcove closet, she says to me: “Hey, have you been working out?”

(Oh! Boom-chicka-wow-wow! Maybe this IS that kind of story!)

Has she been staring at my ass this whole time – and now she’s trying that classic pick-up line about working out?

I don’t happen to swing that way, but of course, I’m terribly flattered.

I blush, bat my eye lashes, smile, and purr: “Why no – (toss hair) – but why do you ask?”

She says, “Cuz of that” — and points to my treadmill.

Funny -- Is She Hitting on Me
Oh.

She laughs and says, “I figured it must be pretty hard to work out on your treadmill, what with all that stuff on it.”

Well! How dare she?

How does she know that I’m not just some incredibly talented gymnast-slash-piano-player who likes to belt out my own tunes while I’m treadmilling? Huh? It’s possible!

Instead of scoffing, she should be admiring my dexterity!

But of course she’s right. I haven’t used that treadmill in forever – and I guess at some point, it seemed to make good sense to store those things there for the “time being.”

And of course she’s happily married and has no intention of hitting on me – although that would have made a very interesting story – especially if we drank wine from those giant glasses and serenaded each other on my Karaoke-Piano-Treadmill (patent-pending).

So now, I MUST ask you:

What’s on YOUR treadmill?

— Darcy Perdu

Laugh at all my new posts by subscribing HERE!
I LOVE SUBSCRIBERS!

(Fess up – what’s on your treadmill right now?  I’d love to see that I’m not the only one storing something odd on my “exercise” equipment!)

Boom-Chicka-Wow-Wow!  Is She HITTING on Me?  #funny #treadmill #stairs #humor

If you smiled -- share it!
If you LAUGHED -- share it TWICE!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

36 replies on “Um…Is She HITTING on Me?

  1. Judy said:

    Dust! And possibly cats. They like to jump up on a nearby cabinet and walk across it to get to the top of their cat tree, because it is too much work to jump from the ground to the top of the cat tree. Laziness runs in the family.

  2. I don’t have a treadmill to put things on!

    And you can’t start out a story with that first sentence and then say it’s not that kind of story! You’ve already put our minds in the gutter!
    William Kendall recently posted..A Day In The Life Of A CatMy Profile

  3. K.Haskins said:

    Oh,okay–as long as you asked. IF you must know, I don’t even HAVE a treadmill. But if I did, rest assured that there is NO way that I’d ever actually USE it!

  4. My elliptical machine has my son’s sports shirts hanging on it to dry and my weight bench has bath towels I’ve folded but not yet put away. Sad. If I did have a treadmill, it would have bathing suits drying from our last weekend at the pool. I’m sure of it! —Lisa

  5. My dogs? I saw an episode of the dog whisperer where he exercises the dogs on a treadmill. I use the excuse not to actually walk them outside on days it’s pouring rain. I live in Vancouver, BC so……..
    Lisamarie recently posted..Turns Out I’m A Total Chicken ShitMy Profile

  6. I don’t have a treadmill, which is sad, because I would totally try playing the keyboard while treadmilling right now if I did.

    In the area where I usually do exercises, I have boxes of books piled up. And you know you can’t disturb the books for something like exercise. So there they sit. And here I sit – at the computer, eating a chocolate doughnut.
    Tracie recently posted..Reading The Perfect Book On A Bad Day – Someday, Someday, MaybeMy Profile

  7. We don’t have this anymore, but we used to have an eliptical in our bedroom that I used to hang the clothes off of I was going to wear the next day. My own personal valet. If only it heated the towels for the shower…
    This Mom Said It! recently posted..The Inappropriate PoliceMy Profile

  8. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. I think your ass looks great regardless of whether you use a treadmill.

    If anything, this is an innovative way to unite musicians and fitness gurus. You should totally put this in schools.

    You’re such an inspiration.

    • why, thanks, doll!
      as soon as I get the patent on my karaoke-piano-treadmill, I’ll invite you to my Rocky Horror Picture Show Singalong Fitness Workout!

  9. The Squire no longer has his exercise bike, AKA the $300 clothes hanger, which tells you why he no longer has it. He also used to have a rowing machine, but the cat would try to hack up a hair ball every time my husband made the cat move over so he could use it.

    • I wish I could blame a cat for preventing me from exercising! :o)

  10. Well… considering that “my” treadmill is at the gym, I’m going to guess that there’s a complete stranger on it. AND I’m going to further guess that the stranger is a female and that she’s wearing a full face of makeup.

  11. My husband is using my exercise bicycle as a stand for one of his speakers and he actually gets annoyed when anybody moves his speaker. So you know, I really have a good excuse.
    Vivian Pitschlitz recently posted..Petty Pride.My Profile

  12. Currently I’M on my treadmill… yeah that’s right, I can surf the net, read blogs and comment on them whilst burning calories! Your move, pianist! :)

    • Javvad — that is the most awesome comment EVER! You are a tread-milling, net-surfing, calorie-burning, blog-commenting ROCK STAR!
      My piano and I are now playing “YOU are the champion, YOU are the champion!”

  13. Kat Caldwell said:

    I only hired mine and it was just sent back last week after it became the holder of multiple bags, washing, linen, cats and occasionally people when they tripped over it.

    • Hmm, sounds like you’d have to figure out how to treadmill WHILE juggling bags, linen, and cats! no wonder you sent it back!

  14. My treadmill currently has the following items stacked on top of it: a large Tupperware full of birdseed, a bicycle helmet, a child’s push toy, a bag of outgrown toys that I’ll get around to dropping off at Salvation Army one of these days, wicker basket full of plastic silverware and napkins, a beach towel, a sunhat, a small toolbox, and an American flag. So I’m a fat slob, but at least I’m a patriotic fat slob…
    Sandy recently posted..Attractive NuisancesMy Profile

    • What an eclectic array of goodies you have on your treadmill!

  15. I started training for half-marathons about a year and a half ago, which means the previously-unused treadmill started getting a LOT of use. However, before I had aspirations of not being a couch potato, my son kept toys on the treadmill, and the cats kept themselves on it. I’ve also caught a couple of different dogs napping on it!
    Missy Carr recently posted..For when you want people to keep their juices to themselves.My Profile

    • ha! sounds like a regular menagerie on that treadmill — cats and dogs and toys, oh my!

  16. Hey, you’ve got the same keyboard as me! I also do not have a treadmill, but I do have a ‘pit of dispair’ behind my futon where I have put all the stuff I’m planning to put on Craigslist.
    Jane recently posted..Fit & Fabulous: The GoalsMy Profile

    • Ha! “Pit of Despair!” — let’s be positive and rename that soon-to-be-sold mound of items the “Pit of Potential Revenue!”

  17. Great imagination leads us down a path beginning with, “Is She HITTING on me?” to, is she getting kinky about my karaoke-piano-treadmill. That set-up on the treadmill is a little weird. I have never owned a treadmill that didn’t do an excellent job of keeping all kinds of odd clothing off the floor while collecting a lot of dust.
    Ben Swilley recently posted..Zip, the Lovelorn Tortoise, Sprints For His Freedom.My Profile

  18. Two five pound hand weights used while walking on treadmill four times this week. So there.

    • damn, girl, that’s pretty impressive!
      that’s a good workout! good on ya — you’re actually using the treadmill for its intended purpose as opposed to a clothes-hanger!