The HILARIOUS Reason My Friend’s Husband is Mad at Her

When my friend tells me why her husband's mad at her, I DIE laughing!  I agree with HIM! Do you? #funny #uh-oh #humor
So then…my friend Lily spears a shrimp from her salad and says ruefully, “My husband’s mad at me.”

My head snaps up from my pasta dish, my brow furrowed. “Why?”

(I can’t imagine anyone being mad at Lily. She’s one of the sweetest, most generous people I know. She’d literally give you the shirt off her back.)

She sighs, twirling the shrimp on her fork. “Well, I was at Target, getting a bunch of stuff for the kids like socks and underwear. And I guess I was distracted and in a hurry, ‘cuz I accidentally threw in a pack of underwear for my daughter that turned out to be colored underwear briefs for teen boys.”

I frown quizzically, wondering why that would upset her husband. I shovel some pasta in and use my other hand to indicate she should continue her tale.

“So I ask my husband if he wants them, but he says they’re too small,” she says.

(Hmm, was he insulted she implied the “small” underwear might fit his “nether regions?”)

“So,” she continues. “I just tossed them in the back of the car trunk and figured I’d return them to Target at some point. But then several months passed and I couldn’t find the receipt, so I knew Target wouldn’t take them back.”

(Been there, done that, sister. MANY times.)

“Surely he’s not upset over the cost?” I ask, sipping my soda.

“No,” she says. “He’s mad because…well…I took the car in to be serviced and when I picked it up, I noticed the pack was still in the car trunk. And since our mechanic is kind of thin, I asked him if he wanted them.”

I almost spit-take my soda all over the table.

“WHAT!?”

She sputters defensively, “Well, there’s no sense wasting perfectly good briefs. And we’ve had this mechanic for years, so why not give them to him? He seemed really happy to receive them.”

I die laughing.

“Let me get this straight – you got your car serviced and you paid your mechanic in UNDERWEAR?!”

“No, no,” she says. “I paid him cash for the work! The briefs were just…extra.

“Oh, so you just TIPPED your mechanic with underwear?” I tease her. “Yeah, that is so much better.”

“Now you’re sounding like my husband,” she says.

“Omigod, so you TOLD this to your husband and that’s why he’s upset? Well, no wonder!”

“But why?” she asks. “What’s the big deal?”

“Well, first of all, Lily, you are beautiful.” (This is true. She’s gorgeous in a natural, no fuss-no muss sort of way. Whenever we go out, men turn to stare at her. Of course, I immediately try to leap into their line of sight, but nope – they’re definitely staring at her.)

She rolls her eyes because she doesn’t like to hear how pretty she is.

I elaborate, “Lily, you’re thinking ‘oh, here’s something I can’t return to Target, maybe you’d like it.’ But your husband’s worried that your mechanic’s thinking, ‘this hot chick just gave me some underwear – is she coming on to me?’”

“No!” she protests.

“Well, I know that. And you know that. But does your mechanic know that? And more importantly, does your mechanic’s wife know that? What’s gonna happen when he’s sporting new undies and she asks where he got ‘em – and he says, ‘Oh, one of my lady customers gave them to me; she’s so niiiiiice.’”

Lily gasps: “Oh no!”

“Oh yes!” I say. “They’re probably fighting about your underwear RIGHT NOW! They might be filing for DIVORCE as we SPEAK! Exhibit A will be YOUR Target underwear briefs!”

She collapses into laughter, equally horrified and amused.

Yep, that’s my friend Lily – so generous, she’d give you the shirt off her back – and apparently, the underwear off her ass!

— Darcy Perdu

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(Do you have a friend like Lily?  If the roles were reversed, how would you feel — let’s say your husband gave a pack of Victoria Secret’s panties to his hair stylist?  Any embarrassing stories involving generosity, mechanics, or underwear — or a silly reason your spouse was “mad” at you?)

When my friend tells me why her husband's mad at her, I DIE laughing!

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62 replies on “The HILARIOUS Reason My Friend’s Husband is Mad at Her

  1. I certainly can’t top that, but perhaps Lily should be shopping for a new mechanic! Thanks for starting my day off with a good laugh, Darcy.
    Suzanne Vince recently posted..Life After MastectomyMy Profile

    • Exactly! I wonder if he’ll light up with expectation when she returns, hoping she brings him more “gifts!”

  2. My college roommate sounds like your friend Lily. Guys were forever falling for her and she was completely oblivious. She just had this friendly, warm vibe that men responded to, coupled with zero awareness of her appeal.

    It did cause her some relationship troubles at times.
    Cassandra recently posted..Throwdown Thursday: Who’s More Competitive?My Profile

    • Yep, that’s Lily. She’s so beautiful, inside and out!

    • Right? I can too. I think a woman would feel the same way if her husband gave panties to his hair stylist or a female bank teller or something like that!

  3. Julie said:

    You know what I was waiting for? Obviously because it is what I would do… I would have had to have brought you into the bathroom to show you my new cute boy underwear! It’s like you have a secret! I can imagine that might upset her husband I guess. Not exactly VS, but hey, if it makes you feel cute….

    • Ha! Brilliant idea, Julie! Waste not, want not! If Target won’t take back the teen boy underwear, just wear them yourself! Love it!

      • Julie said:

        “had to brought you”??? really? sorry.. clearly I meant “brang” you
        *sigh*

    • Bwahaha! Damn right!
      Your comment reminds me of the time my co-worker Nancy and I stopped at a Hollywood drug store after a conference dinner so we could buy some sodas. The boisterous character in line behind us announced to everyone, several times, “I’m buying condoms — EXTRA-wide! I need EXTRA-wide condoms!” We weren’t sure if he was just being friendly — or advertising!

      • Paul said:

        Ha! that’s hilarious Darcy – worst pick-up line ever; afterall women are always saying that size doesn’t matter. Ha! There is a funny story from WWII when Americans were supplying Russia with materiel to fight against Hitler. The Russians ordered hundreds of cases of 15 inch long condoms. The Americans made, packaged,and shipped the condoms after labelling them “Medium”. Ha!

        • Are you SERIOUS?? That is HILARIOUS! And GENIUS!!!

  4. Heather said:

    One day I was flying back alone from a business trip to Miami, and started chatting with a guy in the TSA line while we were waiting for screening. After my bag had been checked and I reassembled it, I noticed my quart size bag of toiletries was missing. When I asked the TSA agent if there had been a problem, he said he put it in my husband’s bag. I explained that we weren’t travelling together, much less married, and the agent was very apologetic. Once I got to my gate I realized we’d been talking about how happy we were to see our spouses after a trip. His wife was probably not happy with the bag of women’s toiletries he unpacked when he got home.

    • Omigod, Heather, that’s HILARIOUS! I can just see the look on his face when his wife confronts him about a bag of cosmetics in his suitcase after his trip! YIIIIKES!

    • AinOakPark said:

      My kids say to me, “MUST you speak to EVERYONE?!” Now I can see a negative outcome to this sort of behavior….

    • Thanks, Tonia! Now YOUR comment made MY day! :o)

    • Ha! Note to self: always keep spare tiny briefs in trunk for emergency tipping purposes (i.e. mechanics, waiters, cops giving speeding tickets, etc)

    • Apparently Lily!
      It’s funny what people will give out. My coworker told me his boss at his old job was on a very strict odd diet, so she would peel and eat RAW CABBAGE LEAVES for lunch at the office. If anyone came into her office during lunch break, she would peel off a leaf and kindly offer it to them: “Cabbage leaf?” Um…no, thank you. Ha!

  5. Your friend Lily and my best friend Jenny are very very similar. As soon as I finished reading this I had to share it with her. Because she would have done the exact same thing. Also not understanding why her husband would be mad! Very funny. We enjoyed it!

    • Glad you to know Lily has a soul sister our there! Ha!

  6. AinOakPark said:

    Oh, my, goodness. This was too funny. Plus, Lily sounds like a gem of a friend, you lucky woman – she’s oblivious to her beauty AND she’s generous.

    • Well that IS a silly reason for a hubby to be mad! Library fines are just proof that you’re literate — and well-read — and refusing to kowtow to society’s arbitrary money-based system of placing commercial regulations on art that should be consumed freely. (or something like that! ha!)

  7. I would totally do the exact same thing and be really confused when my husband got upset. Though I probably would’ve tried to see if they fit ME first and then my husband would be even more mad that I gave our mechanic underwear that I’d tried on. Oops.
    tara recently posted..i really need a picnic blanketMy Profile

    • Bwahaha! That would’ve been REALLY hilarious!

    • You bought MEAT from a door-to-door salesman? Holy Cow! (Like literally – Holy COW!)
      I’m not surprised that created a little marital discourse! So funny!

  8. ABSOLUTELY hilarious. I have met more than one person who would do something like this without thinking it through.

  9. Lady Anne said:

    Many years ago, I worked a few blocks from a Laundromat where I could get a load of clothes done – washed, dried, folded and/or hung up – for $5. Considering my time, it was well worth it.

    They hired a new girl who, on her first – and last – day at work took several customers’ clothing, dumped them all out, sorted them by color, washed them, and then tried to put them back in the proper baskets.

    I came home without most of our stuff, but we did get a bunch of T-shirts with sayings The Squire would NEVER wear, and a couple of pair of blue jeans, which I did not wear at that time, even if they had fit me.

    Someplace, there is a over-the-road truck driver who is *still* trying to explain to his wife why there was a bright red brassiere in his laundry.

    • That’s hilarious!! Between your story and the lady whose toiletry bag ended up in a businessman’s suitcase, this proves that some guys ARE innocent of shenanigans! Even when a bright red bra shows up in his laundry! HA!

  10. Hahahahahaha…my husband is a really hot carpenter if I do say so myself and I have to admit, I never know what he’s going to bring home from a job. It’s been as weird as a cement mixer, to as cool as a pool table to as boring as a carton of eggs. And always from the little old ladies.

    • Seriously? That’s awesome! As long as he doesn’t bring home one of the little old ladies! Ha! :o)

  11. I don’t wear underwear as often as I should, but I always need more. I would LOVE it if someone tipped me with panties. Of course, I’d probably have to do something to deserve it and I barely legitimize my salary at the moment.

    • Ha! I’ll spread the word that Aussa appreciates panties for work well done…

  12. Read this one the other day but now that I know how to comment….. VALIDATION FROM STRANGERS!!!!

    I have a friend like this — only she’s the type that’s oblivious to the fact that men find her irresistible, and that any kindness she shows them is taken for interest (in all fairness, men are kind of messed up like that, and it’s not really her fault) but then she’ll get asked out on dates and agree to go, being completely blind to the fact that it’s a romantic thing and not just a “hey, let’s go see a movie” type thing.
    Helena Hann-Basquiat recently posted..A Lonely Place of Dying – Friday FictioneersMy Profile

    • Yep, that sounds like my friend Lily — before she was married!

  13. I’m dying! This is hilarious!! So many possible repercussions over a few pairs of Jockeys! hahaha

    • Right? So funny! My friend cracks me up with her antics!

  14. That story was absolutely hilarious. I know a few people that would be that naively generous.

    • Yep, bless their generous little hearts! I love people like that!

  15. This is just awesome!!! Love it. Will be sharing with my husband!!

    • “Will be sharing with my husband.”
      The story or the underwear?
      :o)

  16. lesley said:

    I had a similar thing happen where I had some brand new undergarments that did not fit anyone in our house and I didn’t know what to do with them, so I put them along with some other things in one of the “for our troops” collection barrels!

    • That’s a great idea! I’ll tell Lily in case she finds herself in that predicament again! Ha!

  17. Nicole said:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I haven’t snort laughed in a while!!!! That was beyond hysterical!

    • Thanks, Nicole! I’m so happy when people snort while reading my posts! You made my day!

  18. My wife and teen daughter tell me it’s perfectly ok for them to flirt or use feminine wiles to work it sometimes — but the second I try to even think about taking off my clothes, expect attorneys.
    Lance recently posted..Handle With CareMy Profile

    • Ha! Just had a vision of you attempting to use your feminine/masculine wiles, Lance — lol!

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