When Parenting Lessons Go VERY Wrong

When Parenting Lessons Go Very Wrong    #funny  #parenting  #lesson  #gambling

So then…I cast a furtive glance at my young kids, hoping the dealer doesn’t spot them, as I place my chips on number 13 on the roulette table.

Children are forbidden to linger on the gambling floor at the Vegas casino, so my husband is casually walking them slowly up and down the aisle so they can watch me gamble.

Degenerate parents?

No, just the opposite.

In fact, I’ve just given a rather impressive lecture at lunch about the evils of gambling, the addictive nature of the game, and how the house always wins.

(Why bring the kids to Vegas, then?  It’s a quick hop from LA where we can take Chloe, age 4, and Tucker, age 7, to the wave pools, magic shows, world-class M&M store – and to see white tigers, lions, and sharks.)

But this time, they ask if they can gamble.

No.

Why?

You’re children. Only adults can gamble.

OK, can you gamble for us, then?

No. Then David and I both explain why gambling is a futile pursuit and not worth their interest.

Then Chloe and Tucker explain why LIFE.SIMPLY.CANNOT.MOVE.FORWARD.UNTIL.WE.
GO.GAMBLE.RIGHT.NOW.

You know that adorable, high-pitched, super-frenetic, mind-numbingly-repetitive way that kids have of communicating their immediate needs?

In frustration, I huff, “Fine! I will show you what a waste of time and money this is. I’ll walk over there right now and put 5 bucks on a number – and that’s it – one time – and you’ll see how quickly we lose – so pick your number.”

“Thirteen,” Tucker says. Chloe nods enthusiastically.

David walks the kids up and down the aisle, slowly, so they can watch the transaction.

I stomp over to the roulette wheel and change $5 for chips.

I put the chips on number 13 with a flourish, and steal a glance at the kids — my “I-told-you-so” look at the ready.

The wheel spins. The dealer says, “Thirteen.”

Then he hands me $175 in chips.

The kids are jumping up and down.

David is shaking his head.

I am stunned.

I’m excited to win — but disappointed that my “lesson” in the futility of gambling has failed so miserably.

I’ve just demonstrated to my impressionable young children how you can make 35 times your money in under 60 seconds.

Impressive parenting.

I cash in the chips, deposit the money in the kids’ bank accounts, and we never speak of it again.

– Darcy Perdu

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7 replies on “When Parenting Lessons Go VERY Wrong

  1. Cindy said:

    Much like this story, a gambling lesson went wrong, but I “corrected” it. I was at dinner a number of years ago with my kids, then about 7, 10, and 13, and a friend. The restaurant had Keno and the kids asked what the screens with the numbers were for. I explained and they wanted to play. I told them it’s a waste of money, but okay, once. We each picked five numbers and of course hit all five — won 300 bucks. *facepalm* “Let’s play again! Let’s play again!” Okay, five more numbers, and this time nothing. For once I was grateful for losing, and pointed out that THAT was the lesson they were supposed to have learned.

    Of course, I also had my youngest daughter’s 8th birthday party at a horse-racing track. Best party ever according to her, her friends, and her friends’ parents, but that’s another story.

    • Love your story about the gambling “lesson,” Cindy! And I love YOU, simply because you had your daughter’s 8th birthday party at a horse-racing track! You’re my kinda Mom!
      Darcy recently posted..Wrangle Those Bosoms!My Profile

    • Thanks, John, And yes, there are LOTS of fun things to do in Vegas with the kids — they even get a kick out of taking the trams from one hotel to the next since the hotels are decorated so crazy. They can see the lions at MGM, white tigers at Mirage, Shark Reef aquarium at Mandalay Bay. The pools at the hotels are amazing — including the “wave” pool at Mandalay Bay. Fun restaurant Rainforest Cafe (where it occasionally “rains & thunders” at MGM. My kids LOVED Mac King Comedy Magic Show at Harrah’s. Roller coaster at New York New York Hotel. And of course the 3-story M&M store with wall-to-wall M&M merchandise and free mini-movie is a big hit!

  2. Awesome. I had a similar situation with my daughter. When she was 12 she really wanted to join an NFL Survival Pool that I was taking part in. I initially said no, but she begged and was willing to put in her own money to join. I gave her the whole “waste of money” evils of gambling speech. Then let her in.

    Well, she not only won that Survivor Pool (beating out me and about 20 adult male basketball addicts), but she won the next year as well. So much for that lesson.
    Cassandra recently posted..Greatest Theme Park EverMy Profile

    • Omigod! That’s HILARIOUS! I cannot believe she won two years in a row!
      Please put me down for $20 for next year for WHATEVER your daughter picks!! Ha!