Smackdown! Old Biddies vs. Rowdy Moms

Smackdown
So then…we shriek with laughter, pounding our fists on the table, slapping our thighs – with tears rolling down our faces.

The diners at the tables near us turn to look, so we shush each other, giggling like schoolgirls.

It’s Mom’s Night Out and the four of us are lettin’ off steam, swillin’ cocktails, and skewering our husbands, our kids, and ourselves. No one’s safe from our mockery and teasing, including each other. We’re swapping stories, revealing embarrassing moments, and asking those awkward personal questions you can only ask your really close girlfriends.

We’re trying to be considerate of our fellow restaurant patrons, but we’re on a roll – chatting and laughing and — yes, even squealing. Either we are downright HILARIOUS – or these cocktails are mighty potent!

Most people are engaged in their own conversations, but there’s one table of elderly diners who keep eyeing us. Every time a gust of laughter bellows from our table, the white-haired ladies look our way and their husbands frown in our direction.

We pull back to a dull roar, but then…(for the rest of the funny story, please click Smackdown: Old Biddies vs. Rowdy Moms — at the site of the hilarious, fun-loving Marcia Kester Doyle of Menopausal Mother who invited me to guest post the story at her blog.)

Marcia’s popular blog features the “Musings on the good, the bad and the ugly side of menopausal mayhem. If you bring me a bottle of pinot grigio and a large jar of Nutella, I’ll be your best friend!” You’ll relate to her laments of middle age, laugh at her adventures, and snort at her inane suggestions that somehow make.perfect.sense!

For a comedic romp on a shopping expedition where the only clothing sizes left are “hummingbird or mastodon” — you’ll enjoy reading One Size Fits None. I could definitely relate when Marcia says, “It never fails that by the time I get to the checkout counter, the angry woman in front of me with three returns and a missing receipt was once the president of her high school debate team.”

Yappers, Poopers, and Barbie Dolls? Where in the world is Marcia now? At the gym, of course, listing the 8 People I Love to Hate at the Gym. Have YOU encountered any of these people?

Of course a cow-print muumuu is the perfect Mother’s Day Gift! For other FABULOUS ideas, check Marcia’s funny list of 12 Mother’s Day Gift Fails.  And let’s not forget Father’s Day! Here are Marcia’s surefire ways How To Keep Your Husband Happy.

Menopausal Mother 165

Check out her hilarious posts on her blog and follow her on Facebook and Twitter:
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Thanks for letting me guest post at your blog today, Marcia!

Everyone else – please remember to read the rest of my funny true tale by clicking Smackdown: Old Biddies vs. Rowdy Moms. Thanks!

— Darcy Perdu

Meet Me at the DMV — Naked

Meet Me at the DMV -- Naked
So then…my friend Gina invites me to join her and our mutual pal Lindsey for lunch.

It’s important to know that Gina’s email is sent to us on February 18, which is often known as 2/18. 

Here are the emails that prove our senility:

Hi Girls,
It’s time for a Lunch/”Therapy” date with the 3 of us. 9/24 works for Lindsey and me — so Darcy, we’re hoping that it’s a go for you too. Otherwise we’ll explore a later date. So how’s 9/24 working for ya?
XO, Gina

Regarding 9/24 lunch — You mean 3/24 !!! I can’t wait until September!
— Lindsey

You see how much I need that “therapy” session! Just wait till you chickens hit my age…!
–Gina

First of all, I’m already 93.
Second of all, do you really mean 3/24? That’s still 6 weeks away!
–Darcy

NO, NO what the ~~~~ is wrong with us??? It’s 2/24!! Right, Lindsey? SEE — we really need this!
–Gina

OMG – are we all senile??!! Yes — 2/24!!!!
— Lindsey

OK, I’ll meet you for lunch on 2/24. However, based on both of you being senile, I imagine that one of you will show up at the DMV instead of the restaurant — and one of you will show up at the restaurant naked. Good luck to all of us.
–Darcy

OMG I’m laughing so hard! What has become of us?
–Lindsey

What has become of us indeed!

— Darcy Perdu

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(Are you and your girlfriends losing your minds? Or is it just us? Any missed appointments or scheduling mistakes? What have you forgotten lately? Or did you forget? Share in the Comments below!)

Meet Me at the DMV -- Naked P