Do You Want a Harvard Tennis Player or a Scotch-Drinking Crankypants?

Harvard Tennis Player

So then…my neighbor Dan asks me to send an email to our neighbors to see if anyone would like to host a recent college grad at their home next week.

(I handle our neighborhood newsletter where we share our favorite vendors, refer babysitters, buy/sell items, and promote our favorite charities.)

Dan asks me to post this announcement:

My wife and I were contacted today by *********, a recent Harvard graduate, who will be coming to town next week to play Tennis in the Men’s Pro Tennis Challenge. He is trying to save money and needs boarding for the week. We will host him for several nights and are seeking other families in the neighborhood who may want to help as well. Please contact me if you can help at phone **********. Thank you, Dan

So I send the email to the 550 neighbors in our residential development.

Almost immediately, I receive a response from a neighbor named Jack, who replies with:

Perfect — just what I need, a handsome Harvard tennis player to hang out with my wife and daughters!  

And what about me? For the next newsletter to the neighbors, please announce this: “Fat, bald guy, likes to sit on the couch, watch TV, drink scotch, and complain. Available for parties. Contact Jack at **********. Thanks, Jack”

This totally cracks me up. As much as I’d love to host a hunky Harvard athlete at my home… a wise-crackin’ Scotch-swillin’ crankypants who makes himself “available for parties” sounds pretty hilarious too! Aw hell, invite them BOTH over!

— Darcy Perdu

(Are YOU a TV-watching, liquor-guzzling complainer? Have you ever hosted someone at your house? International exchange students? Military? My parents hosted some Up-With-People college singers at our house when we were teens – and my sisters and I fell in love with all of the boys! Share Comments below!)