How to Get Your Freak On — DISCREETLY

How to Get Your Freak On (DISCREETLY)  #funny #fetish #oops #humor

So then…I totally crack up. My friend Mindy, whose husband produces TV commercials, sends this genuine email to me and a bunch of her friends to request something for her husband’s shoot:

Subject: Rick’s latest commercial
Hey, if you know of anyone who would want to do this… yourselves included, please forward along…

Hands and Feet Wanted for commercial!!!
I am a producer of TV commercials and I’m shooting a Public Service Announcement the week of April 15th.

I am looking for female hands and feet. Age range 21-40.

Pay will be $150 for a one-day shoot at ***** Studio in Woodland Hills.

If you’re interested, please photograph the top of your hands and/or the top side of your feet and email the photos to: *********@********

Please, no jewelry or tattoos.

I know it’s a legitimate request, but I just can’t help myself.  I send a “Reply to All” saying:

That is the most creative method of gathering fetish porn that I have ever heard of!

Clearly Rick is titillated by sexy feet and this is his clever attempt to amass a large collection of feet photos under the guise of a casting call.

Nicely played, Rick, nicely played.

I myself am shooting a PSA commercial about male reproductive organs, so please send me photos of male penises.

Peni? Penises? Not certain of the plural terminology.

Whatever the case, please submit photos to

Unlike Rick who prohibits jewelry and tattoos, I actually prefer such adornments, so go wild!

Age range 21 – 40. No elderly peni please.

My sister responds with:
I’d be happy to share my penis photo collection with you when you visit next weekend.
— Della

My friend Kate responds with:
The plural for penis would be cocks.
— Kate

Ha! Thanks for clearing that up, Kate! I want to be grammatically correct when I solicit my fetish porn!

And speaking of funny porno stories…here’s a doozy!

— Darcy Perdu

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(Receive any odd emails?  Know someone who REALLY likes feet? or hands? or peni?  Would you let your feet be filmed for $150?)