BEST Father’s Day Gift — and COMPLETELY Inappropriate (Perhaps NSFW)

Men swimsuits
So then…I find the PERFECT Father’s Day Gift.

A Colorful “C*ck Sock!”

When my friend posts the above image on her Facebook page to playfully suggest these swimsuits for her friends’ hubbies this summer…

it prompts lots of comments from her pals and me – and I’ll admit there is not one mature comment amongst us.

Then it hits me. A brilliant idea for an invention.

If this tiny piece of fabric that only just barely covers the MALE private parts down below is considered acceptable “swimwear” –

then why don’t I invent a similar swimsuit to just barely cover the FEMALE private parts up top?

I will literally make a SOCK that fits each individual boob so snugly that there is no need for straps or clasps — or that unnecessary material that wraps around the back!
Boob Tube Clipart Sock Lady
These will literally be socks that you simply pull onto each boob, then just walk out the door! Let your boobs roam free!
Boob Tube Lil Kim Final
Lil Kim has the basic idea here – but no need for a fancy sparkly mini-fan – just grab a sock from your sock drawer and pull it on!

So what SIZE is most appropriate for YOUR boobalicious boobies?

Sweat socks — for the busty gal?
Boob Tube Sweat Socks White
Anklet socks — for the more modestly-endowed?
Boob Tube Ankle Socks Purple
Baby socks — for our flat-chested friends?
Boob Tube Baby Socks Final Final
Knee socks – for those older swingin’ breasts that literally reach your knees?
Boob Tube Knee Socks Final
And what more appropriate name for these new swimsuit tops than…


They are literally TUBES for your BOOBS!

I will even provide special Lopsided Boob Tubes for those of you with non-symmetrical bosoms – just mix n’ match an Anklet with a Knee Sock.

And imagine the color and design combinations you can create by raiding your sock drawer!
Boob Tube Colorful Socks

We can even knit socks to resemble your bosoms!
Boob Tube Knitted Sock
Special occasion? Black Tie affair? Tug these on!
Boob Tube Black Tie Final
Do you happen to have 5 nipples per breast? Then I have the perfect Boob Tubes for you!
Boob Tube Toe Socks
And if you run out of socks, just grab a scarf – and voila – Bob’s your uncle.

Boob Tube Christina Aguilera Crop Crop
Rock that scarf, Christina Aguilera!

Of course, my FAVORITE SCARF OF ALL TIME is from –
because this scarf doesn’t HIDE the boobs – it CELEBRATES the boobs!

Boob Tube Scarfs
And look how delighted Grandma on the left is!

So while I work on creating my Boob Tubes for sale –

you no doubt want to know where you can pick up some “C*ck Socks” for Father’s Day.

I’ve looked everywhere and the only version I can find for sale right now is aptly called:    The Tuggie”

Boob Tube Tuggie Censored

You’re welcome.

— Darcy Perdu

(Do you agree all the men in your life will LOVE this Father’s Day Gift? And will they wear it to the beach or lake this 4th of July? Would you buy my Boob Tubes invention – or are you going to totally steal my idea and just use your own raggedly ol’ socks? Who will be brave enough to send in the first photo?)