Snubbed by a Hose Holder!

Funny - Snubbed by a Hose Holder
So then…my tween daughter Chloe and I pedal our bikes around a corner, exploring more new streets in our neighborhood.

In the distance, in the front yard of a brown house, I see a figure that looks like Ruth, a woman I’ve met at the rec center several times.

Hey, it IS Ruth!

She’s holding a hose, watering some plants in her front yard.

We’re biking along at a good clip, so I need to time my greeting well to be sure she sees me.

As we approach, I call out “Hi, Ruth!”

My daughter Chloe murmurs a cautionary “Mom” to me, in hopes I won’t embarrass her.

Ruth squints at us in the distance, which means we’re too far for her to see who it is.

So as we get closer, I wave and call out loudly, “HIIII, RUTH!”

She just stares at me, still holding her hose.

Chloe mutters, “Omigod, Mo-om.”

But I am undeterred.

As we roll by, parallel to her yard, on the other side of the street, I really step up my game.

I wave BOTH arms, flailing about, smiling big, yelling, “Hey, Ruth! It’s ME!! It’s DARCY!! DAAAARCY! Hello! Hi, Ruuuuuuth! Hiiiii!”

She looks at me, with no expression on her face, no sign of recognition. Just stands there holding her hose.

As we ride past to the next street, there is awkward silence.

Chloe does not say a word.

Another moment of silence.

More silence.

Then I concede, “It’s possible that wasn’t Ruth.”

***

Chloe shoots me the dead-eyed expression of “YA THINK?”

I guess I’m lucky non-Ruth didn’t turn the hose on us as we rode by!

— Darcy Perdu

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Funny - Snubbed by a Hose Holder

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21 replies on “Snubbed by a Hose Holder!

  1. I hate it when I do that (and I do it far too often…).

    My other favorite is when I think someone is waving at me, wave back, and then realize they are waving at the person behind me. Always makes me feel like an idiot!
    Dani Ryan recently posted..How motherhood changes friendshipsMy Profile

    • oh yes that IS awful — I’m always so embarrassed because I smile so big and excited when I think someone is greeting me — only to find out they don’t even KNOW me!

    • I AM lucky she didn’t spray me — but would it have killed her to PRETEND to be Ruth just for those few minutes we rode by? Jeesh, lady!

  2. Crying, crying with laughter!! It totally reminds me of the Ellen routine where she talks about when you wave at someone you think you know. I just love the fact that you kept at it determined that it would be Ruth!! ;)-Ashley

  3. I’ve done stuff like this before and feel like a complete idiot afterward. One time a friend of mine went up to someone he thought was me from behind and gave her a big hug. She took it pretty well, but then I saw the woman he thought I was and felt devastated. Did I really look that heavy from behind?
    Gina Jacobs Thomas (@totallyfullofit) recently posted..Swapping Scar StoriesMy Profile

    • Ha! That’s pretty funny!

      It reminds me of when I was 15, I had a MAJOR crush on my older brother’s friend Tom but he always treated my like a little sister. One night, he was having dinner with my family and he said, “Oh, I was driving back from school today and I saw this really cute girl on a bike from behind and I wondered who was THAT! And then I drove alongside and realized, Oh it’s just Darcy.”

      WHAT! I was all excited that he thought of me as a really cute girl worth checking out — but then he had to ruin it by saying it was “just” me — like his kid sister! Argh! No dreamboat for me!

  4. But the good thing is, you were outgoing to a neighbor, right? I tend to remember the wrong things about people…”Oh, that’s right you’re Ruth’s husband!” “Um, actually I’m Ruth’s son.”
    Jean recently posted..My son went to real school todayMy Profile

    • Ha! Exactly! If the roles were reversed, I would surely have waved and smiled and pretended to be “Ruth” for a couple moments!

      I’ve even heard of celebrities who’ve been mistaken for other celebrities, but they’ll even sign autographs under the other celebrity’s name! Come on, hose holder lady — work with me! :o)

  5. D. Marie said:

    Similar, I suppose, was when I was doing my business in a public bathroom and someone sat down in the stall next to me and immediately said, “how’s it going over there?…why haven’t you guys finished up already?” In a world of technology, where everyone has a cellphone, I don’t know what drove me to decide the stern voice needed a reply from me. I said, “it’s okay, just taking my time I guess.” Then I heard her tell them she’d call back. I was so mortified I just waited for her to leave before opening the stall door.

    • that’s hilarious!! I love that you responded to her!! She musta had quite a shock!

  6. Yesterday, I put my groceries in another woman’s cart and then walked away. I couldn’t figure out why she kept staring at me and my friends were laughing…. Does that count?
    Cassie recently posted..NOT Just Another Syria RantMy Profile