So then…she pops a Parmesan Bread Bite in her mouth and says, “I’m so mad!”
I pop a couple Bites myself and ask, “Why?”
“Well,” says my tween daughter Chloe, “You know how everyone talks about the ‘Freshman 15’ that happens in your freshman year of college?”
“Well,” she says, “I just found out it means you GAIN 15 lbs!”
I nearly choke on my soda. “What did you think?!”
“I thought it meant you LOST 15 lbs! I’ve thought that for years! I was so excited!” she says, waving her Bread Bite around. “I had all these plans to pig out the summer before I went to college! I was gonna eat pizza and donuts every day, knowing that I’d lose 15 lbs. as soon as I got there!”
She looks deeply aggrieved, like we’ve all been in on this conspiracy to deliberately mislead her.
I’m dying laughing. Could you imagine?
(If the “Freshman 15” means you LOSE 15 lbs., I’ll enroll in college again right now! Then I’ll deliberately fail all my classes so I can re-enroll as a Freshman every year!)
I smile and shake my head as I gaze upon this crazy little daughter of mine.
She’s actually quite bright, but sometimes she says embarrassingly hilarious things like this that make me wonder if I dropped her on her head too many times as a baby. (How many times? I dunno. Why are you being all judgy?)
But I suppose she comes by it honestly. I remember when I found out everyone in the WHOLE WORLD (except for me) was in on a HILARIOUS, HORRIFYING SECRET!
Yep, we’re two peas in a pod, just tryin’ to navigate the harsh realities of life…one Parmesan Bread Bite at a time…
— Darcy Perdu
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(Did you GAIN or LOSE the “Freshman 15?” Did you or your kids have any similar misperceptions about common sayings or concepts? How many Parmesan Bread Bites can you eat in a single sitting?)