Oh, She Did NOT Just Say That

So then…Janice, the Cast Mom for the 8th Grade production of “Annie,” asks for volunteers to work the 4 show nights – snack bar, ticket takers, and congratulations telegrams.

But then her emails take a strange turn…

Cast Parents:
If you’d like to volunteer for ANNIE and haven’t responded yet, please let me know since some parents are working all 4 shows.
Janice

Janice:
Could I help with telegrams for the Saturday night show?
Darcy

Darcy:
All spots for telegrams are taken. I think we’re in good shape… unless you want to help with hair and make-up, which for some reason doesn’t seem like your thing?
Janice

Oh, no – she did NOT just say that!

“unless you want to help with hair and make-up, which for some reason doesn’t seem like your thing?”

What? Why doesn’t hair and make-up seem like my “thing?”

What exactly is she trying to say here?

Is she implying my hair’s a mess and my make-up is shoddy?

Or am I such a bumbling fool, she’s afraid I’ll put lipstick on their eyelids and mascara on their lips?

Or does she think I’m such a skank, I’ll tart up the little orphans to look like transvestite hookers?

Honestly!

That’s like saying, “We’d ask you to bring something to the potluck, but cooking doesn’t seem to be your thing.”

Or “We need field trip chaperones, but parenting doesn’t seem to be your thing.”

Imagine your date saying, “I’d invite you upstairs, but sex doesn’t seem to be your thing.”

So just as I’m about to whip myself into a self-righteous frenzy about her veiled insult…

I take a breath and realize she’s probably just like me – chasing kids, working, juggling a million demands from a million people. PLUS, she’s the Cast Mom, so she’s dealing with all the students and the Drama Mamas – and she’s probably staying up past midnight every night just like me to get everything done – so her remark was probably unintentional.

So, as usual, I decide to find the funny – and I start giggling.

Janice:
I am laughing so hard right now — is there something about MY hair and make-up that suggests I wouldn’t be skilled at helping others with theirs?

I’m cracking up because that’s probably NOT what you meant — but the truth is — I am TERRIBLE at hair and make-up and you’re right — it is definitely not my thing!

I can help with selling snacks if you need it.

Or eating snacks. I’m good at that.
Darcy

Darcy:
LOL!!!
I did not intend any implications other than…
<<<LOL – can’t stop laughing!!>>>
It’s just that you are a fellow Pisces and it is SO NOT MY THING either!
All right then, I will put you down for eating snacks on Saturday night.
Janice

Of course I’m delighted to learn her comment wasn’t intended to cast aspersions on my grooming skills.

But now I’m perplexed as to how she knows I’m a Pisces?

And since when has that astrological sign been burdened with a reputation for inferior cosmetology and hairstyling?!

Makes me wonder what my daughter and her daughter discuss at rehearsal.

Is my daughter Chloe confiding to her classmates, “Ahh, my mom is HOPELESS at hair and make-up. (sigh) But you know, she’s a Pisces. What’re you gonna do? It’s in their nature.”

— Darcy Perdu

Artwork by Dixie Allan

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(Ever receive an odd comment or email that seemed like a veiled insult? Any funny stories about volunteering for the school play, field trip, class party, or dance? Is hair and make-up YOUR thing? Or are you a Pisces too?)

Oh, She Did NOT Just Say That!  #funny  #school #drama #volunteer #pta #pisces #cosmetics #hairstyle

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76 replies on “Oh, She Did NOT Just Say That

  1. I LOVE this! I could so relate! I once had a mom from school hound me. She kept saying, “Liesl, please let me do a Mary Kay makeover on you.” And then, “Liesl, I am dying to make you over.” I kept thinking, am I that hideous? WTH???

    Eating snacks – I want that job!

    • Liesl, that’s hilarious! Your photo on your blog Hairpin Turns Ahead clearly shows you’re GORGEOUS, dahhhling!

  2. I am totally a Pisces and don’t much care what my hair or makeup look like normally, so there may be something to that. I’m glad you took the high road with this woman. Volunteering to do crap for the kids is a pain in the ass. I coach the kids soccer and baseball teams and don’t mean most of what I say when I send out a quick email in a state of fatigue or drunkenness because I just thought of it and wanted to send something out before I forget. Crap, I forgot where I was going with this comment. Fuck. Nevermind. I’m a Pisces I guess is all I was saying.
    donofalltrades recently posted..Finish the sentence friday again. you tube clips so that’s cool, right?My Profile

    • YAY is right! All Pisces Unite! Fight the stereotype! Proudly show the world our grooming skills!

  3. That was a great conversation.. Hope it all went off well!

    • Yep, I did some of my finest snacking at that show!
      :o)

  4. Love that you fired off a text asking for clarification. Perfect. I’d probably still be stewing about the whole hair and makeup thing. “Annie? How can I botch her up? Who spilled the beans about me burning my daughter’s hair with the tongs when we were prepping for her school photo. Ms Hanigan? She looks just like I do all the time! I know how to roll hair into curlers and don a dressing gown…” etc. Hope the play went well and that you got lots to eat.
    Kelly McKenzie recently posted..A Time to Be ThankfulMy Profile

    • so funny, Kelly! and so true!
      how badly could I mess up the orphans hair and make-up anyway, right?
      they’re SUPPOSED to look all helter-skelter, messy hair, dirty faces, and ungroomed! I got THAT look down solid!

  5. Lol nice way to handle it! I would’ve been a sarcastic B straight out.. My bf teases me because he says my “fake ghetto accent” comes out when I’m upset or feeling sassy.. I start talking in Spanglish when I’m super pissed so there are indicators that I’m getting upset. Nicely handled, you’re a better person than me :P Have a great weekend Darcy! -Iva
    Awesomely Over-Zealous recently posted..NaBloPoMo: The Post I Almost Didn’t PublishMy Profile

    • Ha! When I first read her email, I MIGHT have lapsed into my own ghetto accent and muttered “oh, no, she di-in’t!” while snapping my fingers in a sassy manner…

  6. Wow – you handled that nicely. I probably would have just assumed the worst and decided not to help at all (although I’m pretty good at eating snacks, too!).
    Kim recently posted..A Valuable LessonMy Profile

    • thanks! and congrats on your snack-eating skills! it’s an art! :o)

  7. April said:

    I am NOT a Pisces, but a Libra. And Hair and makeup is totally not my thing. I want it to be. I want to have smoky eyeshadow that looks totally sexy. But if I go for that look, I tend to resemble “hooker after long night” rather than the “sexy lady” look I am going for.

    • HA! “hooker after long night” is hilarious! I have rocked that look a few times myself!

  8. It’s official. I’m calling you for any future necessary retorts. Best response ever!!

    For the record, I could totally help you with the eating snacks table. See you Saturday then??
    Real Life Parenting recently posted..I’m Thankful for Dirty SocksMy Profile

    • awesome! Saturday it is — meet me by the chocolate cupcakes!

  9. Okay, I LOVE THIS STORY!! I love that you just took the email with a laugh instead of taking offense. That turned what could have been a sticky situation, into one that was not! I like your style!! (even if hair and makeup are not your best things) –Lisa

    • thanks, Lisa! turned out she has a really good sense of humor and we’ve been able to get to know each other a little more since “Hair/Make-up-Gate”

  10. the diva said:

    Just to be clear: I have a performance degree, and lots of theatre experience and I am GREAT at stage makeup and decent with hair. But, for myself, day-to-day? That is waaaaayyy not my thing, and I’m a Taurus!! :)

    • You’re a TAURUS? A TYPING Taurus car? Way cool. Ha!
      That’s funny that you’re great at stage make-up but not into the day-to-day make-up. I actually wish someone would teach me how to do make-up!

    • no need to be, Phil — I’ve always admired your hair and make-up!

    • hmm, maybe there is something about the Pisces connection… I’d always heard Pisces were creative and compassionate, but maybe we should also add “apathy about hair/make-up” to the list of traits!

  11. THAT IS HILARIOUS and quite- um… interesting? Well, if I must say- down right WEIRD. I mean who knows people’s astrology signs? And you are right- what the heck is the connection anyway?

    SO funny! And possibly the most incredibly odd conversation ever.
    Chris Carter recently posted..And Another Thing…(About My Tumor)My Profile

    • I’ll get on it! Her email said she’s a Pisces too, so maybe there’s a roster somewhere that I’m not aware of… :o)

  12. Well, here’s one about a school dance. My kids’ elementary school does a Valentine’s Day dance. The kids pretty much just run round and scream and go crazy – not much actual dancing. Since they are elementary, parents are required to stay when they bring their kids. Last year, I made my reluctant hubby go suffer with me. HE ended up breaking up a fight between to 5th grade boys that aren’t even ours. Their parents should have been there somewhere, but never made a appearance during the incident!
    Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted..ThankfulMy Profile

    • omigosh, Lisa, that is crazy! thank goodness our hubby was there to break up the fight! Where were those kids’ parents? Probably having their OWN fist fight in the parking lot!

  13. William Kendall said:

    Oh boy… I can’t help it, I’m falling about laughing! Particularly the line about the date saying sex doesn’t seem to be your thing.

  14. Shirley said:

    Lol- I’ve noticed both on this site and in life in general- many misunderstandings come about by email don’t they?

    • yes! and don’t even get me started on texts! thanks to brevity, abbreviations, and misspellings, I usually have no idea what people are actually saying!

  15. ‘Oh it’s because I’m a Pisces..’ because THAT explains it…lol. If it were because she thought you were astrologically doomed to poor cosmetic skills, why would she say it was ‘for some reason’ in her email? But, it may just be an individual quirk of expression, like how some people say ‘I could care less,’ when they really mean they couldn’t care less.

    • good point! I need to find out what the “for some reason” is!! :o)

  16. *I* am laughing so hard.

    I love this post for so many reasons. You poke fun at how catty Moms can be, then turn around and show understanding and compassion for the same.

    You jump to conclusions and anger easily just like me, but you make it funny before you start a fight, and I admire that.

    Finally, you’re a Pisces and all Tauruses love Pisces!
    The Insomniac’s Dream recently posted..Did You Read This? 11/17 – 11/23My Profile

  17. Ruth Lipman said:

    Finding the funny is absolutely the best way to go. Your genius at demonstrating and sharing it could possibly save the world :-)

    • thank you, Ruth, what a lovely thing to say! :o)

  18. Found you on Bloppy Bloggers! The closest thing to a veiled insult that I can remember is a time when I was working as a waitress and all of the computers went down, forcing everyone to take orders the old school way, not to mention taking payments the same way too.
    All of a sudden, my manager comes up to me & says “Would you like a change of pace?” I asked what she meant & turns out, she wanted me to host instead. I knew she didn’t think I was a strong server, but I wasn’t insulted. The restaurant looked like world war 3 & I was making a steady hourly wage as a host so I didn’t mind.

    • now that’s when a veiled insult works in your favor!! :o)

  19. Winston said:

    I am a Pisces and a licensed cosmetologist, but I gave it up because I found I would rather work with what’s inside a person’s head vs the hair on the outside.

    • aha! so “Pisces cosmetologist” is not an oxymoron!
      and how interesting that now you are working with what’s in people’s heads now — very cool

  20. Pingback: She Did NOT Just Say That | The Bloppy Bloggers...

  21. Julie said:

    Hi Darcy! Why oh why didn’t you just respond with “I think you have to poo”?? Nah, you handled it much better. How clever of you to have the wherewithall to turn it around! I am Aquarius and have very little concern with my appearance. For really special occasions I might put on some mascara. It has been mentioned to me that if I put a little more effort in, I might attract a suitor. Meh. Too much work to paint myself up. It won’t change who I am anyway. PS I am not “paperbag ugly” either just so you know.

    • Ha! I SHOULD have said that! That’s a phrase that really fits ALL occasions! :o)

  22. Judy said:

    Perhaps I’m a closet Pisces… or just another Taurus with apathy towards hair and make-up and fashion.

    • ha! We’ll make you an Honorary Pisces, Judy! You’ll get a plaque, a sash, and a tiara — but NO hair and make-up for the photo op! That’s against our Pisces rules & regs!

  23. I’m a Libra. But, I couldn’t give two shits what my make-up or hair looks like a large majority of the time. If I could attach a picture to this comment of what I look like right now, I could totally prove it.

    I also like how she skipped right over your offer of selling snacks and just put you down for the eating them part. I wish this person was in charge of my kids’ school volunteers. Maybe I wouldn’t always hide in the bushes when I saw her coming around the corner.

    • Ha! Love that you offered photographic evidence of your apathetic grooming attitude!
      And yes, I like her agreement to my volunteer suggestion! From now on, I think I’ll sign up on all future Volunteer Lists as “Snack Eater.”

  24. I understand how you feel.
    I have been insulted by so many off the wall comments from others that I’ve lost count of how many people I once intended to kill.

    So then this older guy told me he had an old uncle who said, “There would be a lot less offense given if there were less offense taken.”

    I think that’s about when I realized how many people in this world are really stupid dolts and most of them don’t mean anything by ignorant comments they make. They just don’t know any better.

    It still feels good, though, to think about saying, “You are a simple-minded, dumb-ass, ill-bred son-of-a-bitch.” That makes me feel better almost every time.
    Ben Swilley recently posted..How to Shop With the Whackos- Christmas 2013 – Athens, GeorgiaMy Profile

    • That’s a good quote! I shall keep that one at the ready in the future! (I may only mumble it to myself though, lest I get my head blown off!)

  25. Jessica said:

    lol Great response! I wish I could come up with something similar for my church ladies group. They’ve decided cooking ‘isn’t my thing’ and for the past 10 years have assigned me to bring things like “a can of cranberry jelly” to our church potlucks!
    BTW – I’m a Pisces/Aquarius and day to day hair and make-up aren’t my thing either! It took me 37 years to learn how to use my curling iron. :-)

    • that’s hilarious! you’re in good company — Erma Bombeck used to say after her first potluck dinner, her neighbors assigned her “paper plates and napkins” at all subsequent potlucks! :o)
      and I love that you’re a fellow Pisces with hair & makeup issues! we have a pretty big club now!

  26. I’m a pisces. What the hell does that mean? Did you ever find out how she knows you’re a pisces? And what being a pisces has to do w/ grooming? I once had a similar situation where the class mom asked for help & when I wrote in I could help w/ the class party she told me she had enough volunteers. I was like but you JUST asked for help. How is that be possible? I think she just didn’t want me there so I showed up anyway.
    One Funny Motha recently posted..Childless and Loving ItMy Profile

    • I’m not sure what Pisces means — I remember that astrological sign being associated with traits like “Imaginative, Kind, Compassionate” — I don’t recall “Poor Personal Groomer!” Ha!

  27. First of all, I LOVE the way you handled that. Humor and class all the way. But yeah, what’s up with the astrological inside knowledge? I’m in deep doo-doo if my kids start telling people I’m an Aquarius. Their teachers will be “Oh great – so she won’t be showing up? She’ll be out FINDING herself or something?”
    Linda Roy recently posted..Dirty, Sexy LaundryMy Profile

    • Yes, Linda, lock that info down! Do NOT let the kids reveal your sign! No telling WHAT people will think! Ha!

  28. Paul said:

    Incensed! That’s the right word. I could see your hackles rising as soon as I read Janice’s e-mail. Ha! You know what it is? She has sensed your superpowers as The Blue Octopus and who would ever ask a superhero about hair and makeup? It would be a given that such a question would be scoffed at as far below your talents and abilities – paling in the shadow of the crimefighting you do nightly, putting your very life on the line for the safety of the populace. I bet Wonder Woman never gets asked about her hair and makeup.

    Now snacking would be another thing entirely. Obviously you have to keep up your strength in case of an emergency situation where your crime fighting abilities were called upon on short notice. And, if you got angry enough, you might even snack on Janice or one of the other super-moms (perhaps a taste of ticket taker is tantamount to treachery but you have to do what you have to do). And to support all this, do you think that it is a coincidence that Pisces is the sign of the fish and an octopus is from the realm of the fish and eats fish? I think not. Snack On!

    • Paul — YOU.ARE.HILARIOUS!
      I laughed out loud at “snack on Janice” — admired your alliterative talent on “taste of ticket taker is tantamount to treachery” — and marveled at your brilliant deductive powers in relating the oceanic Pisces sign to the Blue Octopus! You totally crack me up!

  29. terri said:

    A customer saw a photo of me that had just been published. He looked back and forth between me and the photo several times then said “It looks just like you. I can’t say that it flatters you, but it looks just like you.” Well, ok. Thank you very much.

    • Ha! Omigod, I would have been tempted to smack him upside his head!

  30. Bahahahaha! That is hilarious! I think everyone who looks at me can tell that hair and makeup “aren’t my thing.” They certainly don’t need to tell me about it in an email, though. :)

    BTW….Knowing you’re a Pisces, and actually using that info to decide what you’d be into is pretty strange.
    Robin recently posted..Dehydrated ApplesMy Profile

    • Right? I had no idea people ascribed traits like that to astrological signs!

    • Ha!
      First: be a Pisces. Apparently, we’re inept!
      Second: volunteer to eat snacks.
      Third: eat snacks.
      Voila!

  31. stacy said:

    Being a fellow “pisces” myself I found this to be one of the most hysterical things I have ever read because my hair is normally in a bun and I am usually sans makeup but that is only because I have 2 kids and ain’t nobody got time for that. …or it could be just because I am a pisces and lack the hygiene skills of the rest of the far superior signs of the zodiac lmao

    • Ha! I’m with ya, sister! I’m not into hair and make-up at all. “Ain’t nobody got time for that” is right!