Raising My Daughter to be a Stripper?

Raising My Daughter to be a Stripper?  Um...well...um.  #funny #strippers #shaving #humor

So then…I click the blinker, just as my daughter Chloe, age 15, says, “You remember how you taught me to shave my legs – the calves and thighs?”

I turn the steering wheel right, continue up the hill, and answer, “Yeah.”

“Well, my friends Maggie and Layla just shave from the knees down. They say only strippers shave their thighs.”

My eyes pop. Really?

I’ve always shaved my thighs.

Am I secretly a stripper?

Maybe I have that sleepwalking disease where I don’t even know that I’m waking in the middle of the night to go shake my tatas at the local strip club.

If so, where’s all that cash I should be making?

I frown.

Maybe I’m not a very good stripper.

Maybe I’m shakin’ mah groove thing and people are all like, “Yeah, um, nice thighs…but uh, the rest is…well…do you have a robe or something?”

Damn bastards! How dare they? I’m up there, sweatin’ my ass off, trying to please the masses, twerkin’ like there’s no tomorrow – and they don’t even APPRECIATE it?

I “tsk” loudly and shake my head in disgust.

“Mom?” asks Chloe.

“Huh?”

“The thighs?” she says.

“Oh, yeah, right. Well, I thought everybody shaved their thighs. What about when they wear shorts?”

“Nope,” she says.

“So it’s just smooth from the knee down and all hairy on the thighs? Doesn’t that look odd?” I ask.

“Well, their hair’s pretty light so you can’t really tell,” Chloe says.

(They’re lucky! I knew a girl in high school whose hair was so dark, she even shaved her arms. Oh! And a girl I worked with in New York shaved her arms and waxed her upper lip and eyebrow area and “sideburns!” When I asked if all that was really necessary, she said, “Honey, I’m Armenian. My entire life is devoted to hair removal!”)

I turn to Chloe. “Well, of course it’s fine – they can shave just the calves – whatever they want to do. But did they really say only strippers shave their thighs?”

“Yes!” she says.  “They can’t believe you told me to do that!”  She snickers.  “You’re raising a stripper, Mom!”

“Good grief! It’s just the thighs. It’s not like I suggested shaving the hooha!”

“Omigod, Mom!” she corrects me. “Don’t say ‘hooha!’ It’s ‘Vagina.’”

“HooHa-Hooray?” I ask innocently.

“Vagina!” she says.

“Vajayjay?” I ask sweetly.

“VAGINA!” she shouts.

(It’s possible she’s more mature than I.)

We laugh.

She goes back to her Iphone.

I continue driving, while also silently brainstorming ideas for strip clubs that might welcome dancers like me and my friends…

MILFs R Us?

Hot Chicks & Hot Flashes?

GoGoMama?

PTA Pole Dancers?

Carpool Queens?

Thong Moms?

Book Club Burlesque?

or

The Saggy Strippers? That’s a good one.

Are you interested in trippin’ the light fantastic – and shakin’ what yer mama gave ya?

Swing on by Darcy’s Dollhouse to submit an application. All thigh-shavers welcome.

‘Fess up, ladies! Do you shave just from the knee down – or are you shavin’ the thighs too?
If yes on the thighs, are you a stripper? If so, can you get me a job at your club?
Can I wear Spanx and support hose? Are slippers allowed?
Can I check Facebook while I’m dancing?
Can you play NetFlix on the monitors so I can be entertained while I’m entertaining?
Do you serve snacks? What’s the 401K like?
Look, strippers, just private message me and we’ll work out all the details.
And I only take crisp new hundreds. None of this wrinkly one dollar bill crap.
If Mama’s gonna bust out the Dougie and the Cabbage Patch, with body parts swingin’ in all directions — Mama’s gotta get PAID.

— Darcy Perdu

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If YOU have a daughter, you might enjoy when my smug tween got schooled — or when she mortified me in front of Dr. “Fancypants!”

 

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177 replies on “Raising My Daughter to be a Stripper?

  1. OMG..I might be a stripper, too! I had no idea.

    This is hilarious…

    • Awesome, Michelle! We’ll expect you at Darcy’s Dollhouse tonight! Your shift starts at 10 pm! Bring the silver tassles!

  2. Alex said:

    I laughed so loud at this one… I feel ya, sister. I have two teenage daughters and I couldn’t care less what they shaved! I don’t really need to shave much so I just do under arms and below knee a few times during summer. I am starting to get those long dark coarse witch hairs under my chin but only one at a time (so far…) so I just rip them out with tweezers. Or perhaps I should leave them and it can be a feature in Darcy’s Dollhouse? Ya know – “climb Rapunzel’s chinhair”. Would take the spotlight off the sagging boobs. And I could shave my thighs so I qualify as a stripper.

    • Brilliant marketing strategy, Alex! You’re now the Headliner of our show!

  3. Laughing over here. Um…I’m not Armenian but I’ve spent most of my life removing my hair and I’ve had a couple of people killed who have surprised me with a visit when I’ve had the cream on my upper lip. So now I have to strip in order to make extra money to pay my hit man. So therefore, of course I shave my thighs!

    • I can just picture the look on your face when someone walks in on your hair-removal cream mustache! Bwahaha!

  4. Amanda said:

    I must be a stripper then too! I have dark hair, so it’s a must. Nothing compared to your Armenian friend, but still.

  5. I’m currently single and it’s winter – I can’t remember the last time I plugged my epi-lady in. But, when I do shave it’s knee down except for the first time wearing shorts. A little bit of sun and the hair on my thighs practically disappears. Now my grandmother has never in her life shaved her legs – she has about six hairs on each shin. We won’t talk about how long those 6 hairs are.
    Vanessa D. recently posted..Do You Really Want Their Help?My Profile

    • HA! Dying laughing at your grandmother’s 6 long shin hairs! Braid those puppies!

  6. caitlin said:

    1. Unless I’m swimming, I shave from the knees down. I never heard of only strippers doing that though, but I can’t say that I know too many strippers.
    2. We are probably raising a future stripper ourselves. The kiddo has asked in the past to be called both Sparkle and Sprinkles. For Halloween, at every house we went too, she explained that her real name was (kiddo), but she really wanted to be called Destiny.
    So much for her becoming a doctor.

    • “Paging Dr. Destiny Sparkle. Destiny Sparkle to the ER, STAT!”
      It’s a perfect doctor name! Ha!

  7. Melissa said:

    Well, I shave above the knee in the summer…sometimes. This is complicated. I try to wear long shorts since my legs are awful looking from varicose veins (3 kids in 5 years) but a few years ago I realized that the hair on the back of my thighs is BLACK, not like the front where it is an innocent blonde color. In the winter I only shave enough so that I don’t injure myself or my husband with the pricklies.

    • Blonde in front and black in back? Very interesting! I assumed mine was the same all over — I gotta go check now!

      • Sherry said:

        Blonde except on the inner thigh. Get it together, follicles!

        • Ha! Seriously, follicles – what’s with the inner thigh nonsense!?

    • Your mom only told you that so you wouldn’t become a stripper! HA!

  8. Hell it’s 36 degrees in SC I ain’t shaving nothing!!! I’ll just sneak my husband’s weedeater out when he goes to work one day when it warms back up! I’m at the age where I’m trying to get out of sex not have it lol! Nobody wants to mingle with a porcupine!
    Rena McDaniel recently posted..THAT DOWNWARD SLIDE THAT IS SOMETIMES CALLED LIFE PT. 2My Profile

    • Rena, you’re so funny! “Nobody wants to mingle with a porcupine!” HA!

  9. Judy P said:

    Ummm… yeah, I’m no help. I’ve always shaved my thighs (I might be part Armenian) but I also was a stripper for 6 years. I was the take it all off kind of stripper not a mere topless dancer. You just have to be naked to be an all nude dancer, but you have to look and act like a Barbie Doll to be a topless dancer.

    • Good info to know, Judy. I definitely wouldn’t qualify to be a topless dancer. I don’t have the perky Barbie Doll boobies — mine are more of the nipples-swingin-past-the-kneecaps variety! :o)

      • Mistrest said:

        Exactly! If I wore silver tassel pasties, I wouldn’t need to sweep the floor with the broom.

        • HA!!!
          When my niece took photos of my mom, sister, and me this Christmas — my sister kept telling her, “Take the pic from the boobs up! The boobs up!” (that’s about KNEE level for me!) Ha!

    • Dammit, Cassandra, we coulda used ya as one of Darcy’s Dancing Dolls! You can be the bartender instead.

  10. Julie said:

    Well, clearly I am not a stripper since I really don’t shave any part of my legs very regularly. More so in the summer when I might be wearing some Capri’s or knee length shorts, then only shaving what is absolutely necessary. (like a bathing suit- that requires a lot of shaving)

    I have a good friend who bar tends (I know, that’s shocking isn’t it?) They were having a jello wrestling event and for some reason people were trying to talk us into a match. We just laughed, Who wants to watch us help each other into a kiddie pool filled with jello in our sweats and carefully help each other sit down so neither of us slips and take turns reading to each other?? (god that was a long sentence!)

    You crack me up sister!

    • That’d be a hilarious jello wrestling event — I can just picture you guys sitting there, daintily turning the pages in your books! Ha!

  11. I just want to say well done on getting the word vagina in 3 times, and then I’m going to bow out of this conversation having nothing else to add to it.
    I shave my upper back, does that count?
    PinkNoam recently posted..Is that a maggot in your packet….?My Profile

  12. For years I only shaved from the knee down, but my husband asked me to shave my thighs. I thought it was an aesthetic thing, but now I am suspicious that he might have some stripper fantasy going on. Hmmm… Also, I never heard that shaving one’s thighs was only something strippers did.
    qwertygirl recently posted..How to Humiliate Your Tween or TeenMy Profile

    • Clearly your husband was raised by strippers.

      :o)

  13. Ellen said:

    I must have been a stripper when I was a teenager, or someone taught me wrong also. After having 3 kids, I learned in my early twenties to just shave the knees and below. Now, I might take a quick swipe down the shin once a year or so.
    Absolutely loved your story and am very surprised my daughters never found a way to blame me for whatever they shave. Trying to think of how to put that into a question for two thirty-something women. LOL

    • Ha! Right? How do you work that into the conversation with your daughters? Next time they visit, just nonchalantly say, “Pass the potatoes, dear, and by the way, how much of your leg DO you shave?”

  14. Tais said:

    Oh my god, I’m not Armenian but I’m Brazilian which just might be the same. I have crazy hair that grows more than I’ve could’ve asked for, and shave the whole leg, like three times a week in the summer (which is so happening right now), the armpits, and wax the upper lip and eyebrow area. Not to mention some other weird places that really dark hair shows up. So I feel the pain of your colleague, the pain of a life dedicated to hair removal. And quite sadly, I’m not even paid for it!

    • Ha! Tais, you’re so funny — “I’m not even paid for it!”
      If you have to go to all that trouble to remove all that hair, someone SHOULD be paying you, right!? Ha!

  15. Keely said:

    I’m too lazy to shave, so it’s usually only my armpits. But when I do, it’s my arms and from knees down. The rest is too much work.

    • Keely, with an attitude like that, you are NOT gonna make a lot of moola at Darcy’s Dollhouse! (sigh) OK, if your armpits are shaved, I can put you in the Topless Lounge. Just wear yoga pants to cover the rest! Ha! :o)

  16. Lindsey said:

    I was taught to shave the whole thing, calves and thighs. Ok… hand me my thong and point me in the direction of the nearest pole.

    • Here you go, darling — a gold lame thong! Now shake your groove thing!

  17. I’ve seen some really hot “older” strippers. One in particular was in a strip club in California. She wore a cowboy hat and had long, brown hair. She was pretty cool. But yeah, not sure about the shaving above the knee thing. How odd? I never knew either.

    • California? I live in California. I own a cowboy hat. Dagnabit! That musta been me sleepwalking/stripping!

  18. TinkerBell said:

    My mom only taught me to shave below the knee, because once you start shaving it will grow back thicker, darker and faster. I also think she thought that the tops of your legs are usually covered so it doesn’t matter.
    Once I moved to Florida in my twenties, however, that all changed. I’m always in shorts or a bathing suit, so I started shaving it all.
    BUT THEN I DISCOVERED LASER HAIR REMOVAL!!! BEST.THING.EVER. No More Shaving!
    ….Now where is my stripper pole??

    • Right over here, Tinkerbell! Front and center, baby! Get down with yo’ bad self!

  19. BWAhahahahahah that’s hilarious! Poor girl! I remember being told in PD (personal development) at school that nice girls only shaved below the knee but the teacher was a 65 yo grey haired dear and it was 1980! I would have though times have changed . I say shave the lot ;)
    Molley@A Mother Life recently posted..Fire Bugs… It’s a family thingMy Profile

    • I agree, Molley — shave it all, baby! That’s so funny that your little old lady teacher actually told your class that “nice girls” only shave below the knee! Guess I’m more naughty than nice! :)

    • And you are just the man to write it!
      Send me the lyrics! I have a couple blogging pals who can set it to music and upload it to youtube!
      We’ll make millions, Scott — MILLIONS! Get workin’, man!

    • Bwhahaha! Linda, you crack me up! YES. That is the perfect book for our Book Club Burlesque dancing girls!!

  20. Nichole said:

    My 10 year old wants to shave her legs, she is Hispanic and dark hair is all over. I pushed the issue off till it was pants weather, but I know she will ask come summer and I will let her shave however much she wants, I don’t watch her in the shower but I know I went shave happy when I could. I still shave from my belly button to my toes, and under my arms, two to three times a week. I’m blessed with no facial hair, yet.

    • From your belly button to your toes!? Yowza! Go on, girl! That’s commitment! Good on ya!
      And thanks for subscribing to my blog, Nichole! Your email made me so happy!

      • Nichole said:

        I am also not married so that *may* just have a little to do with my regular shaving. I was married and I was not quite so committed to shaving.

  21. Paul said:

    Hmmm, I see I’m the only male other than William who is brave enough to comment. I got a kick out of Melissa’s comment about blonde in front and black in back – sounds like camoflague coloring. She must be built to be facing the sun, so the blonde hair disappears in the light and the black in the shadow behind her.Ha! Any women I know shave the whole leg in the summer and not so much in the winter. Of course here we have 10 months of winter and 2 months of hard sledding.Saves on blades.

    Speaking of blades – I use blades to shave and have my own razors. When she uses those razors, it nicks the blades and leaves me with pieces of flesh missing from my somewhat more sensitive face. She finds it amusing when I present myself with little pieces of bloody toilet paper covering the nicks and dings on my face.

    The moral of this story is, as far as I am concerned, shave whatever you want, just DON’T use my razors!

    • Ha! Paul, that’s a perfectly reasonable request! I agree — to each his own razor!

    • HaHa, Roshni! So funny! Yep, that must be it! I think some Armenian blood runs in my family too!

    • Phil, somehow it does not surprise me AT ALL that you were a male dancer/stripper!!
      You wild man you!
      And yes, absolutely, Darcy’s Dollhouse does not discriminate — we WELCOME male strippers — in fact, we damn near INSIST upon it!

  22. Gracie said:

    Jeez! I guess I’m a stripper too! Chloe is so funny! I’m a teenager too…so I can relate! She totally reminds me of me! I sent this to my mum and she got a kick outta it! I love this blog so much!

    • Gracie, you made my day! So glad you enjoy my blog! And if Chloe reminds you of yourself, that’s awesome because that means you are funny, smart, and spectacular just like her!

      • Susan Claverie said:

        I must be OCD, but I shave pits and legs every day. Ankles to thigh tops! I don’t like that prickly feel. Ok, I’m whacked, ha!

        • Every day? That’s dedication, girl! I’m probably a twice-a-week-er!

  23. Rachelle said:

    Ummm if I didn’t shave my thighs, I’m pretty sure my dating options would be limited to hard core hippies only. My ex’s mother made fun of me for shaving my thighs… So I made fun of her thick blond mustache :D I also have a mustache that needs weekly waxing, as well as caterpillar eyebrows (that I’m complimented on when they are properly groomed), hairy gorilla legs and hooha galore. I’m of french/italian descent. Don’t hate.

    • Bwhahaha! “Hooha Galore!” Love that phrase!
      I’m envious of your caterpillar eyebrows because you can groom them into awesome brows. I over-plucked as a teen, so I have teeny thin eyebrows! I need Eyebrow Rogaine! My daughter Chloe has gorgeous thick eyebrows that she grooms beautifully! I tease her that I’m going to transplant them to MY face! Ha!

  24. Susan said:

    How do you wear a swimsuit??? I’m 40, fat and still shave above the knees in summer. Going to the pool sort of requires it.

    • Yep, I’m a bit self-conscious if I’m poolside and hairy! Best to shave it all, baby!

  25. Ginger said:

    I have always shaved my entire leg, but a lot of friends warned me about how I was doomed to have even more hair growth on my thighs from shaving them. This is a load of crap. Their mothers were wrong. If anything, I have less. Despite my mother naming me Ginger, I’m still not a stripper.

    • There’s still time, Ginger!
      You never know — by the time we get to the old-age home, they’ll probably have a stripper pole in every room!

  26. Karen said:

    My mother told me not to shave below the knee when I was younger, but I was too self conscious about bathing suits in the summer to listen to her. I am too lazy to shave as often as needed, so in the summer I have it waxed every 6 weeks from hip to ankle and in the winter I resemble a yeti.

  27. Aimee said:

    omg how funny! guess I’m a stripper as well… who says that?? I know some who don’t shave thighs because their hair is either light or they really just don’t have hairy thighs so in that case fine, but otherwise how is that a thing only strippers do? haha

    • Right? So funny that her friends said that! But I’m a thigh-shaver, so sign me up for the Stripper Life!

  28. I’ve shaved from the knee down since 9 Years old, the same time I had to start shaving my armpits! I did have very hairy legs though and was bullied for it, so there was a need. I shaved thighs too from age 12. It would’ve looked weird at the swimming pool with smooth calves and hairy thighs. Lol. I’m not Armenian, I’m pale skinned and mousy brown hair, just happen to have quite hairy arms and legs. (Yes I shave my arms too!) I’ve never been a stripper, I’m too skinny and not curvy enough for that! Well except for my wobbly bum.

    • We love wobbly bums at Darcy’s Dollhouse! In fact, MOST of my parts are wobbly! :)

  29. Nicole said:

    Omgosh!!!! Just call me Bunny and pass me the Miley Cyrus pasties please and guide me to the nearest pole. You may want to dim the house lights for this lol

    • Ha!! Oh Nicole-Bunny, the lighting at Darcy’s Dollhouse will be extremely dim!
      In fact, I’m thinking candlelight! And plenty of sunglasses and liquor for the patrons!

  30. Rita said:

    I guess that makes me a pregnant stripper. Think they hire an 8-month pregnant lady? Baby likes dancing lol.

    • Bwahaha! Hell yeah! Pregnant strippers welcome too!

  31. Kathy said:

    I shave from the knees down, but I don’t think that if you shave your thighs you’re a stripper lol shave where u wanna shave…

    • Yep, that’s a good philosophy! Shave where you wanna shave!

  32. Tiff said:

    Yay! I’m not the only one to catch flack for this one! My daughter is only 5 so she isn’t shaving yet but when I started shaving I definitely shaved my leg….including my thighs! I told my cousin this one day and she came out with something similar, “Only strippers shave that high!” Another person asked me if I shaved that high because I intended to do the nasty (their words).

    But for these naysayers I will say… at 30 I look down and think… gee do I really need to shave my thighs?

    • So your cousin said the same thing as Chloe’s friends! That’s so funny! I wonder why they think only strippers shave that high! I thought everyone did!

  33. Humph3 said:

    I’ve decided NOT to shave any more * gaaaaassssspppp*
    I decided I should show my daughter a good example and not pander to the media and big business’s false expectations.
    Can I be the freak show exhibit in Darcy’s?
    I’m not French but you could claim I am…….
    Yes?

    • Hell yeah, baby! The freakier, the better! Get your hairy ass down here! :)

  34. Becky said:

    Okay, okay, busted! I was an “exotic dancer” from the time I was 18 until I was 27. (Normal retirement age for the industry) I shaved everything. I guess I’m raising 4 strippers. They all shave the entire leg and parts of the hoo-hah. I still do too.
    Guess it’s time to come out of retirement. I’m 38 now.

    • Fantastic, Becky! We NEED some experienced dancers in our dollhouse!
      You can be front and center and we Saggy Strippers will be your back-up dancers! HA!

  35. Carla said:

    One of my most embarrassing moments was when I shaved to my knees, as my mother allowed and then wore a cute above the knee dress to school. Someone on the school bus cast aspersions on the BUHLACKKKK hair on my thighs. I promptly went home and shaved up to my shorts line. I don’t know why I am blessed both with excessive body hair and the darkest hair ever found on a white girl. Don’t even get me started on chin hairs and bikini waxes ……

    • Oh girl, the CHIN hairs! What the hell is THAT about? I pluck! I cut! And still they sprout!
      I’m about to duct tape my whole chin so nothing ever shows! HA!

  36. Tommie said:

    I shave everything!!!! Italian blood! (and hair…) thighs, calfs, toes (yes, it’s a real thing), it’s horrible however I can give you the best advice how to shave quickly, best and cheapest razors, and it’s freaking hair. Who cares where or what you shave! boom. shave.

    • Oh da toes, da toes! I have done that too! Glad I’m not alone!

  37. erin said:

    I’ve ALWAYS shaved it all, but my mom never taught me. She just bought me razors lol. I am kind of OCD and hate any kind of hair anywhere. But I’ve never been a stripper. Frankly, whether a person wants to shave it all or never shave a bit should be a matter or preference, shouldn’t it? Not get called a stripper for making themselves comfortable. Juuuust my opinion haha.

    • Right? I was surprised her friends thought it was so scandalous to shave the thighs. Although, I guess I should be relieved they’re a bit conservative! :o)

  38. Christi said:

    Thigh shaving….well damn then I’m a stripper…

    • Awesome! Join the club! Lots of fun thigh-shaving strippers here!

  39. Jennifer said:

    I shave my thighs if they are going to be visible (shorts, bathing suits etc)… When I was about 12, my friends and I were at a water park and this women had a beard growing down her inner thighs… The sight of this has haunted me my whole life!

    • Omigod, dying laughing, and YES, that would haunt me forever too!!!

  40. SinnaSweet said:

    Okay seriously I’ve never heard of ppl just shaving from the knee down. That’s weird. Maybe if you’re going on a date and trying to sleep with the person that I could see but really come on… maybe I just hate hair but it’s the whole leg or no leg for me

    • Right? I was surprised too, to see how many people only shave from the knee down! So interesting!

  41. katie said:

    I guess I’m only a stripper in the summer.
    My mom does think it’s odd that I shave above the knee.

    • Hooray! I’ll put you on the summer schedule for Darcy’s Dollhouse! :o)

  42. Amy said:

    OK, I’ve never been a stripper, nor was my mother, and I’ve always shaved my thighs. I don’t remember whether my mom told me to or I just figured I should, but I have since I started shaving when I was 12 or 13. I feel like I’ve been wasting my time all these years since it seems like no one else shaves their thighs.

    • It IS interesting, right? Seems like half are “OF COURSE I shave my thighs!” — and the other half are “I’ve NEVER shaved my thighs!”

  43. Okay. 1. Child of the Seventies and we all shaved our thighs. 2. I started shaving my arms in late adulthood, but wish I had started much earlier 3. Don’t have daughters, but can not believe they are becoming more conservative.

    Next thing you know they will be promoting the embarrasing thigh-to-thigh hair pie I sported during my swinging single days. Please. NO.

  44. Tierra said:

    Oh I laughed so hard at this. I just last night called my dad to rant that after attempting to wax my face, my upper lip and chin were both bleeding. I don’t know who in my family bred with a wookie, but someone did. Ive always shaved my thighs. Must be a stripper too. :)

    • “Who in my family bred with a wookie” — laughing my ass off!

  45. Transplendent said:

    I’m in my late 30’s now, but up until I hit 30, I shaved calves and thighs. I had an abdominal surgery at 30 that was pretty painful and kept me from shaving for MONTHS until I went outside in shorts one day and felt my leg hair blowing in the breeze! Since then it has been knees down. But if you need someone who can drop it like it’s hot, I am available…I’m just gonna need some help getting back up again.

    • Bwhahaha! YES, we need someone to drop it like’s it hot! You’re hired!

  46. CASSANDRA HUBER said:

    I didn’t know that women DON’T shave their thighs. That’s what I do and that’s what I was taught. Maybe those girls who don’t were taught by a lazy mom who doesn’t.

    • I thought everyone shaved their thighs too! The comments from everyone have been very illuminating!

  47. I shave. I shave my arms. I shave my legs…thighs and all). Thankfully my legs are short! I wax my lip. I once dated this really dreamy guy who made the comment “I don’t date girls with a hairier butt than me!” I had to break up with him before he realized he had been eating crow!
    julee recently posted..Living Larger is Diminished by Excess Weight #CoreUnDietMy Profile

    • Ah, I’m just about to join the Lip-Waxing Club! I’m trying to sneak by a bit longer, but I can tell my days are numbered! :)

  48. Jennifer dansberger Jones said:

    How horrified I am at my mother that she tried to raise me a stripper and how disappointed I guess she felt when she realized I would never meet her expectations! At least she can relish in the fact that her granddaughter is being raised to be a stripper. :-P ugh! LOL

    • Ha! Well, at least SOMEONE in the family’s a stripper!

  49. Gellee said:

    I only do the knees down but that’s because I was blessed with light enough hair that I can get away with it. I had a friend in college who had to do her arms too. I also clean up my Vag area too but I’ve been doing that a long time. Try to keep the ingrown hairs to a minimum cuz as we get older we now get grey hairs “down there” and they hurt when the grow too long because they are so coarse. Ugh. I love getting older. :)

  50. Carrie said:

    My Momma must’ve raised a stripper cuz I shave it all. Can’t stand the prickly pear feel!
    I prefer a sparkly thong, my dear and show me to my pole!

    • HA! Come on down to the Dollhouse, Carrie! We got your sparkly thong — and a sparkly pole to match!!

  51. Wow, I’m pretty shocked at all the comments from people only shaving from the knees down. I’ve never heard of such a thing. I shave the whole leg, maybe it’s a Florida thing?! Haha I also don’t know any man that would be ok with hairy thighs… Maybe I should try it out and see how long it takes my boyfriend to say something.

    • Yes, exactly! Make an experiment, keep a log of days and hair length, and let us know which day your boyfriend finally gestures towards your thighs and says, “Um…honey…what’s with the…?” :) I predict 11 days!

  52. Sarah said:

    I shave it all and NO I’m not a stripper. ..lmao

    • Well, not YET, Sarah! Wait’ll ya hear about the dental plan & 401K down at Darcy’s Dollhouse! We may convince you to join in! :)

  53. melly said:

    I remember the thigh rumour being, if you shaved your thighs you would get cancer! I still shaved my thighs lol

    • Never heard that rumor! Sounds like someone really didn’t want people to shave their legs!

  54. Karen said:

    Ha! Loved that post. I never shaved my thighs until one day when I saw the backs of them! (I don’t remember how, but I am sure I was doing something stripperesque). Who knew that hair was a different color! And untouched like an old growth forest, it had grown long and, dare I say, verdant. I bought the Costco pack of razors the next day.

    • Omigod — “verdant!” You’re hilarious! Sounds like you almost needed a machete to cut back the overgrown forest! Ha!

  55. I am laughing hysterically!! Apparently I’m a stripper too! Show me the $20’s :) I have shaved my legs (thighs and all) every season and every day. Even in cold weather.

    • Every day — even in cold weather? I applaud your dedication, Gina! Forget the $20s — you’re gettin’ $50s, baby!

  56. zinkemom said:

    I’ve been shaving my entire leg and armpits since I was 10. At 33 I had to start shaving my arms and the top/back of my shoulders. At 38 I had to start shaving my face. I have tried the creams, waxes, etc but they all make my face break out which was much more noticeable then the hair I was trying to remove. Now I’m the mom to a very hairy 10 year old. By society standards she definitely needs to start shaving. I’m perfectly happy if she never does.

    No pole for me. I’ll run the lights and music for you though.

    • Yes, the longer she can wait before she hops on the hair removal merry-go-round, the better!
      And congrats on your new job as our lighting & music director! Please choose peppy tunes so I can bounce my badonkadonk all over da club!

      • zinkemom said:

        I’ve been a country music fan for the last 20 years. But now that my kids are getting older I decided I better start listening to more mainstream pop. Lucky for you I’ve discovered that Anaconda song.

        Got buns hun?

  57. elac said:

    What does it mean if I usually shave ONLY my thighs and wear tube socks???

    • Bwahaha! That’s hilarious! You are DEFINITELY in our stripper show!!

  58. My mom (who is now in her mid-fifties) taught me to shave as high up as I can for one key reason: we lived at the beach. I don’t mean we were there all the time. I mean my mom was a surfer and a scuba diver (she still dives), and we lived near Galveston. I surf and now live in a beach community in Florida. I’m always in a bikini. I can’t imagine being in a bikini and having the sun reflecting off my shiny, sunscreened, whispy leg hair. Mom… appetizing. I don’t want our tourists losing their lunch after looking at my legs. Maybe that makes me sort of like a stripper.

      • Ha! That IS funny! But maybe that sentence works anyway — perhaps your Mom IS appetizing! :)

    • First of all – bravo for always being in a bikini! What a lifestyle! Awesome!
      I may start wearing one to my office just to see how people react!

  59. Susie said:

    Guess I’ve got a family full of strippers. We can start our own club – mom, sisters, and now my teenage stripper too! Thanks for a great laugh.

    • Proudest words ever spoken: “I’ve got a family full of strippers!” Love it! :)

  60. As of this fall, I have two of three daughters (my 18-year-old and 11-year-old) now shaving. Their mom handled the instructional phase and like her, they shave thighs, knees, and legs. None of them, wife included, are currently working a main or side stage or using the names Sierra, Destiny, Kitten or Lexi at their jobs.

    This is the extent of my female shaving knowledge without TMI occurring.

    Here to help
    Lance recently posted..Unwrapping A Holiday Classic, The True Story Of Christmas WrappingMy Profile

    • So nobody in the family’s workin’ the main stage — except YOU then?
      Don’t be coy, Lance! I’ve seen you struttin’ your Magic Mike moves down at the local Chippendales!
      And I notice YOU shave EVERYWHERE….
      :)

  61. I always just shaved my calves because I didn’t have much hair on my thighs. Nowadays, I’ve given up shaving completely. The last time I did any strip dancing was at a slumber party at age 10. Go figure.
    Anne Louise Bannon recently posted..Stray Thoughts – On Being GratefulMy Profile

  62. So I remember my mom telling me to shave from the knees down. But I was a very hairy child. And all my friends shaved their thighs. And it was embarrassing to wear shorts or a swimsuit with hairy thighs when all my friends shaved everything.

    I also shave my arms because they’re pretty damn hairy too. Freakin’ Eastern European genetics.

    These days, though…I shave MAYBE once a month…and the thighs? Only when I’m going on vacation. And the vagina? Never. My 20-something co-workers shudder at the thought…but I’m too old for that shit.
    Quirky Chrissy recently posted..New Year’s Resolutions…You’re Doing Them WrongMy Profile

  63. Polly said:

    I shave everyyyyyy thaaaang from the belly button down. Why you ask? Cuz I cant decide where the hooha hair stops, the thigh hair starts, and where the knee hair ends. So cheers to hairless bottom halves. Except my toes and tops of my feet…I always forget to shave those. Always.

    • You go, girl! Shave it all! You’re so funny! If ya can’t tell where the hair ends or starts – just shave it all!

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  66. Okay, so when I was a teen I shaved my thighs, but got complaints when playing chicken in the surf (straddling a boy’s shoulders trying to knock my sister off another boy’s shoulders) that my razor stubble scratched. Now I just shave dark stray hairs on back of thighs and not so much my vagina as my vulva (TMI, for sure – maybe I AM a stripper, or maybe I just live in southern California where you never know when you might end up on the beach or at a pool or wearing shorts). Who wants to go on an expedition up our birth canals with a razor? No thanks. I’ll stick with shaving the exterior “bikini” area. At 52, doubt I can make much money as a stripper. Definitely doubt my husband would approve. The cash would be nice, though.
    Kitt O’Malley recently posted..Mental Health Warrior: Kitt O’MalleyMy Profile

    • Ha! That’s so funny you got “razor burn” complaints from the boys!
      And I would LOVE me so stripper cash, yo!

  67. fallconsmate said:

    yes, i shave my legs all the way up to the hooha. or cooter, as we say in our house. not because i’m particularly dark haired, but because i hate the way it feels on my clothing and sheets. i’m funny like that. (so are my mother and daughter!)

    • I know what you mean — nothing more awesome than being clean-shaven and sliding into clean sheets — heavenly!

  68. fallconsmate said:

    oh…and while i am NOT a stripper, i have posed for a nudies website, a dozen years or so ago. hah! my daughter laughs about this, my son cringes and fears finding my photos!

    • Well, THAT’S very interesting! And yes, I can totally understand the completely different reactions of your kids! Ha!

  69. Kristen O. said:

    OMG! That is too funny. I am full blooded French and have always joked about being super furry. My Mom taught me to shave from the bikini line down. Why half ass something like shaving?

    • HA! “Why half-ass something like shaving?” Exactly! And if your ass happens to need shaving – shave that too!

  70. mc said:

    I blew coffee out my nose reading this. I honestly never understood the shaving from the knees down thing. The only place I want hair is on my head! I am Irish and my hair is light and soft but I shave it all. I am not and have never been a stripper (although there’s nothing wrong with that). I am a total numbers geek analyst (but hot like a stripper)! And I will probably tell my daughter to shave her hooha too eventually if she asks although we call it the “cooch”.

    • HA!! Happy you enjoyed the post! And happy you’re in the Thigh-Shaver camp too!

  71. I’m a knees down kind of girl but then again I am of Dutch ancestry (ie blonde) so I can technically go about 3-4 months of not shaving my legs PERIOD and nobody notices unless you take a magnifying glass to my calves. It’s pretty awesome. I take No Shave November very seriously

    • You are so lucky!! Seriously jealous of the Dutch right now!

  72. Lara louis said:

    Hahahaha! Well, I guess I am a stripper and have also trained my 14 yr old to be a stripper too. This is too funny!

    • Thanks! It’s a fun club – the thigh-shavers, so you’re in good company! :)

  73. OMG. I am Italian and my hair is jet black naturally. Do I need to say more?

  74. BaconandBoobs said:

    Knees down, every day. I love the feel of my shaved calves. My thighs are so light that you can hardly see the hair anyway, considering the cost of a razor, it doesn’t seem worth the investment.

    • First of all — love your name, BaconandBoobs! Ha!
      Second, congrats on your light thigh hair — too dark over here — hence shaving everywhere!

  75. I might be a stripper too.

    But I do confess knees down Eveytime I shave, my stripper thighs if there’s a chance someone else going to see them or once a month ;)