Vaginas on Parade

Vaginas on Parade!  #funny #parade #holiday #humor

So then…my sister (who lives up north) and I try to find a week during the summer for us to get together with our kids. Here is our email exchange, starting with my sister Della – and ending with a HILARIOUSLY DISTURBING photo:

Can’t wait to see you guys this summer. We’re available June 21 – July 31. We’re not available Labor Day weekend. The kids have sports camps the first half of June – then I’m helping chaperone a camping trip for 12 kids from July 4-7. (Pray for me!) Thanks for organizing a get-together for us!
–Della

When is Labor Day?
–Darcy

Seriously? Don’t you own a calendar? September 2. We’re not available for Labor Day because we’ll be in Kansas.
–Della

OK, well, just FYI, we’re not available for Groundhog’s Day.
Or Summer Solstice.
Or Vaginal Itching Day.
Oh yeah, I’m sure you know when those dates are.
–Darcy

Isn’t every day Vaginal Itching Day?
–Della

Omigod, you’re hilarious! Yes, every day IS Vaginal Itching Day!
Did I mention that I’m saving our emails so I can publish them in a book?
–Darcy

Oh, snap. I take it back.
–Della

So then I decide to share the emails on this website – and I try to figure out what picture I could use to illustrate the story.

I know there can’t possibly be an actual “Vaginal Itching Day” – much less a Parade to celebrate it – but just for sh*ts and giggles, I Google it anyway – and I find this photo:

Parade Vagina

Oh.My.God.

Now I’m not saying that this is a Vaginal Itching Day Parade — but it does appear to be a parade of some kind — and vaginas do seem to figure prominently.

I love the internet.

So there you have it. Apparently there IS some sort of Vagina Day that we need to put on our calendars. So plan your summer vacation around THAT, everybody!

— Darcy Perdu

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(Will you be parading YOUR vagina this summer?  How will you decorate your float?)

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25 replies on “Vaginas on Parade

  1. Judy said:

    I need to know when this day is so I can torment my doctor with it (he doesn’t “do” lady parts).

  2. Mary L. Waitt said:

    OMG who would have thought that could be.

  3. lol!!! I hope everyday isn’t vaginal itch day!! otherwise someone should go seek GYN help! lol I can’t see the photo though… did the coding get messed up and made the photo disappear or did u just forget to post it? lol

  4. Micki said:

    I was actually just reading a book where the Mom said that her daughter refers to Google as her third parent… as in, if you or dad don’t know the answer “go ask Google”. This story firmly illustrates why children should NOT be allowed to do so… lol.

    • Alison, that’s a hilarious post about vajayjays! Thanks for sharing!

  5. AinOakPark said:

    Ha!Ha!Ha!

    I was visiting Yale with my (admitted student who changed her mind and didn’t go) daughter.

    So then, as we are on the way home, via Hartford, where we had to catch the plane, we went to an art museum. We were in the modern art section, and there was, for lack of better description, a wheel in a horizontal position and at each spoke there was displayed a ceramic “pink taco”/labia & vulva glazed in full color (maybe 16 in all). I am thinking to myself, “Oooooookkkkkkaaaay, so this is what passes for art today.” I watch my daughter go up to the piece. She looks at it carefully, then, more closely. And then even more closely; she is so close her nose is about 8 inches from them. Then, all of a sudden, she jerks up, gasping! She sees me watching and we begin to giggle somewhat hysterically. Too funny! I tell her, “I was wondering when you’d figure it out…”

  6. Oh. My. God. Exactly.

    The strange crap you can find on the internet. It’s so disturbing to see a head sticking out of that vagina.

    • H. H. said:

      Why disturbing? That’s the first place every singe head enters the world! (Caesarean section aside of course). Even the baby Jesus was shot out of a vagina (one assumes).

  7. Isn’t America GREAT! And to add to the list of unfathomable intimate moments we so happily celebrate — this month is National Masturbation Month. I – AM – NOT – KIDDING.

    • How could I not know that? Must go shopping immediately to celebrate this month’s holiday!

  8. Pingback: So Then... » The Life I Live...

  9. Frankie said:

    Is it bad when reading this post I have Rage against the machine playing in my head. Instead of him screaming Bulls on parade, he says Vage on Parade. Wow my mind is…wow

    Are you familiar with the song?

  10. Paul said:

    Finding your request for stories relating vaginas and vacations, I had to respond. Fair warning – it is long. For a family vacation one year my wife and I took the two kids (a girl age 7 and a boy age 9) to visit New York City. They especially wanted to see the Empire State Building, so, knowing the city fairly well, I found a parking garage a few blocks away and we walked. It was a hot, sunny Saturday and, to our surprise, LGBT parade day. The parade marches past the Empire State Building so we were left stranded on the shore of a huge, surging river of participants about 5 lanes wide with no end in sight. There was also a considerable BDSM presence AND, New York law permits women to be topless in public – and believe me, they were. If you are ever looking to view the maximum variety of breasts in the shortest time possible, I can recommend the New York LGBT parade. The costumes and the floats (including vaginas) were very striking, to put it mildly. We waited on the curb to cross for at least 15 minutes as the kids absorbed the sights and were strangely silent – not normal. They had been raised primarily in a small Eastern Canadian town as strict Catholics and attended French Catholic schools. Wee bit of a collision of beliefs. When we still had not seen an end to the parade, the decision was made to cross through the marchers, and we stepped off the curb. We were swept down the street a block in a flood of breasts, leather, chains and shouting, before reaching the other side and dragging ourselves back onto the relatively turbulent free sidewalk.

    That accomplished, we visited the viewing platform on the Empire Sate Building, and did some more tourist stuff with no further surprises. The kids did not say one word about the parade. At an age where the big sex talk had not yet occurred, it struck me as too daunting a task to explain what they had seen – so I didn’t even try (I know, I’m a chicken –I confess).

    Soooo, the final leg of the trip was to drop the kids off to visit their grand-parents back in the small town in Atlantic Canada. Once we were settled in (their house was very large and easily accommodated all of us) and supper was served, the first question their grand-mere (the matriarch and family enforcer) had for the kids was: “I hear you visited New York. Did you see anything interesting?” OH. MY. GOD. This was it, we were all going to be condemned to Hell in just a few seconds – and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. Why, oh why had I been too chicken to talk to the kids before we arrived?

    The little girl immediately jumped at the chance to impress her grand-mere and (as I sat with my eyes scrunched shut waiting for the blow), she blurted out: “Mom stepped in some gum in front of the Empire State Building and she couldn’t get it off her shoe!” (Which was true, and I had promptly forgotten.) I waited for more but that was it – followed only by considerable giggling.

    • what a funny story!! you and your wife must have been mortified when your kids saw all those free-range boobies floating by!
      and I LOVE how your daughter reported the truly amazing thing that happened in NY — gum on the shoe! hilarious!

  11. Cynthia Rosenberger said:

    OMG, Freaking hilarious!
    I follow your blog by email, Facebook and now Twitter! Just reading some of the stories I somehow missed — and came across this one. Too funny!!!

    • So glad you found this one and enjoyed it, Cynthia! Perhaps you’d like to join us on the float in next year’s parade! Ha!