So then…I find out that on your blog’s 1st birthday, custom dictates you’re supposed to GIVE gifts – instead of RECEIVE gifts!
That’s crazy! But — always one to succumb to peer pressure (yes, I’m talkin’ to you, fanny packs, scrunchies, scarves for no reason, Zumba, and tequila shots!)…
I decide that I, too, will give away gifts to mark my first year anniversary of the So Then Stories blog! So I’m giving away 12 gifts, totaling $400 in GIFT CARDS! Woot! Woot!
BUT FIRST…let’s briefly recap the highlights of the first year:
I LOVE writing quick funny true stories about embarrassing kids, vexing spouses, wacky co-workers, and the ever-perplexing public – and ESPECIALLY love revealing my own hilarious humiliations and bodacious blunders.
I LIVE for your comments! I’m especially giddy when you’ve written things like “I’m crying with laughter” – “hilarious!” – “you make me laugh daily” – “I love your blog!” – “I laughed so hard, I just spit YooHoo all over my keyboard!”
I LEARN from the most amazing writers online and in Facebook blogger groups. It’s the most supportive, helpful, generous, laugh-out-loud funny community ever! We may not be friends IRL, but we’re definitely friends in the Blogosphere – I would totally hold your hair back while you puke up those tequila shots.
I LAUGH every.single.day! Your Comments totally crack me up! At the end of each story I post, I ask readers to share similar funny experiences – and you have done so in SPECTACULAR fashion! One day, I hope to compile my most popular stories in a book — and I hope you’ll let me share your funniest comments too. They’re hilarious!
I LEAP onto computer screens and phones with my hopefully entertaining stories – and within 1 year, I’m proud to say my little blog now averages over 34,000 page views per month, over 11,000 unique monthly visitors, 1190 Twitter followers, and 1178 Facebook followers. I even won a HUMOR AWARD (VOTY 2013) this summer in Chicago at the BlogHer conference attended by 5,000 bloggers! I’ve posted 110 true stories on the blog which has had 65,691 unique visitors and 239,026 page views so far. Lots of blogs have higher readership than mine, of course — but I’m proud of my stats in the first year and hope to grow even more!
I LAUNCH a new program today in case anyone would like to advertise on my site! (I hear you should “monetize” your blog – and I keep pressing the “$” key on my computer but NO MONEY IS SHOOTING OUT! WHERE IS THE MONEY?) So someone suggested I offer ad space to companies, other bloggers, Etsy shops, and of course, German Dungeon Porn producers. So click on the link below for a quick and easy way to upload your ad so you can reach my super cool readers (and I can make a few buckaroos!)
MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU
Drum roll, please! To celebrate my One Year Blog Birthday,
I’m giving away $400!!!
One $100 American Express Gift Card
Two $50 Target Gift Cards
Four $25 Amazon Gift Cards
Five $20 Target Gift Cards
That’s 12 Gifts for the First 12 Months of My Blog!
I hope you’re one of the 12 Lucky Winners!
Simply leave a comment on this post before
Friday, November 8, at 2:00 pm EST.
Then my kids Tucker and Chloe will blindly pick 12 random numbers – and those commenters will receive an email asking for your address so we can mail your gift card!
It’s NOT a requirement to subscribe via EMAIL to my So Then Stories website to enter the drawing – but it would make me feel all tingly inside if you did! Please consider it!
YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT TO ME
For my birthday, I want to DOUBLE my readership!
And YOU can make that happen!
You already know and love So Then Stories.
So please tell 3 pals about it!
Why 3 pals?
Because some of YOU won’t follow through –
since you’re too busy renovating your meth labs or hoarding animals.
And some of your FRIENDS won’t follow through –
since they’re too busy writing prison pen pals and entering drag queen beauty pageants.
If MOST of you refer So Then Stories to 3 pals –
and MOST of those pals start reading my blog –
I will DOUBLE my readership!
ALL THANKS TO YOU!
TO MAKE IT AS EASY AS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REFER ME TO YOUR BUDDIES,
I’VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF DRAFTING 3 EMAILS,
EACH TAILORED TO YOUR DISTINCT GROUPS OF FRIENDS –
THAT SHOWCASE SOME OF MY MOST POPULAR POSTS –
SO ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CUT AND PASTE!
FOR YOUR RAUNCHY, WINE-SWILLING GIRLFRIENDS WHO ENJOY RISQUE HUMOR:
Dear Fun-Loving Friends:
You’ll die laughing at the inappropriately hilarious true stories of Darcy Perdu at SoThenStories.com.
Are these stories “Safe For Work?” Hell yeah! (If you work at a STRIP CLUB!)
For a gut-busting sampling, check out:
BOOBALICIOUS & HILARIOUS!
Darcy’s snarky commentary on Body Painting Gone Wrong that’s already been shared 571 times on Facebook!
YIKES! Just Found a Weed in my LADY GARDEN!
Darcy gets VERY creative when she finds a grey “weed” in her pelvicular region – which then inspires the HooHa Awards – so claim your prize!
My Secret Accomplishment (Photograph-Forbidden)
The subject matter of this post is highly unusual – but absolutely HYSTERICAL!
After reading these 3, you’ll be hooked, so be sure to subscribe to her site for more funny true stories!
Your friend, _______________
FOR YOUR FELLOW MOMS AT
SCHOOL, PLAYGROUND, & BOOK CLUB:
Dear Fellow Moms:
Between the chaos, calamity, and comedy of parenting, if you’d enjoy a brief break for some funny true stories straight from the battlefield – check out Darcy Perdu’s website SoThenStories.com!
You’ll laugh at these brief glimpses at embarrassing kids, vexing spouses, and her own bodacious blunders. A few quick examples include:
Telling His Teacher a Big Fat Juicy LIE!
Darcy’s mortified & funny response to the teacher who reports a flat out lie from Darcy’s son:
Who’s Calling the Shots Here?
Darcy’s priceless reaction when a couple tries to claim their toddler made some very important decisions ON HIS OWN.
One Thing Disneyland INSISTS You Do NOT Bring to Their Park
Darcy finds out the ONE HILARIOUS thing that Disneyland insists you do NOT bring to their park!
So when your kids are napping – or at school – or terrorizing the house while you’re taking a well-deserved “time-out” hiding in the pantry with the Oreos, check out the latest true tales at www.SoThenStories.com – and share some of your own!
Your friend, __________________
FOR YOUR FRIENDS & RELATIVES
WITH VERY SHORT ATTENTION SPANS:
Dear Short-Attention Span Friends:
You’re always on the go, so you’ll appreciate these super short funny stories from Darcy Perdu.
At less than 500 words each, they still pack plenty of laughs:
No, Really, Do NOT Put That in Your Mouth
Darcy’s shocked by a bizarre move made by the exterminator:
Turns Out — I AM a Random Roving Psychic!
Darcy discovers she IS psychic, much to the chagrin of unsuspecting strangers:
That’s Not a Threat; That’s a Vow
Fueled by perverse rivalry, Darcy surprises the whole wedding congregation:
Quick. Funny. You’ll love ‘em!
Your friend, _________________
THANK YOU FOR
CUTTING & PASTING THESE DRAFTS
INTO EMAILS TO YOUR FRIENDS & RELATIVES!
THANK YOU FOR READING MY BLOG!
I APPRECIATE WHEN YOU RECOMMEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS.
I LOVE WHEN YOU COMMENT!
IT’S POSSIBLE I EVEN LOVE YOU.
I WANT TO CARRY YOUR BABIES.
— Darcy Perdu