So then…I’m published!
I bound up the stairs, then execute a flawless triple axel from the balcony, two cartwheels, and some enthusiastic twerking!
Followed by my SUPAH STAH pose:
Shout out to the incomparable Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon)!
Yep, I’m published, peeps!
In a real live book!
And you can OWN this book!
For a mere $9.99!
OR I can personally autograph the book and mail it to your house for a slight upcharge of $3.00 to cover shipping, handling, pen ink, and the laborious labor of me actually signing your book – plus workmen’s comp in case I sustain a signing-related injury. Just PayPal me a total of $12.99 to email@example.com — and tell me to whom to inscribe the literary tome – as well as your personal home address so I can mail you the book (and watch you while you sleep).
“Darcy, you know we worship the very ground you walk upon,
but is this book really worth the money?”
Not only does it contain MY hysterical true tale, it contains HILARIOUS & HEARTFELT stories and essays from 39 other kick-ass writers.
Jen Mann, New York Times best-selling author, hand-picked the 40 contributors in this book to produce one helluva rollickin’ read!
“I am mightily intrigued! What’s your story about?”
Well, you know how I share some of my most bodacious blunders and hilarious humiliations on this blog so you can laugh out loud – and cringe, thanking the Good Lord you’re not me?
Well, the story I share in this book is THE MOST EMBARRASSING thing I have EVER done.
And it’s in PUBLIC – like, VERY PUBLIC. Like DISNEYLAND PUBLIC.
And it’s HYSTERICAL!
Seriously! One time, I tried to TELL the story verbally – but I was laughing and crying so hard, gasping for breath, I couldn’t even get the words out!
So I had to write it down! And submit it to this anthology! And Jen Mann chose it for the book, so I CAN’T WAIT for you to read it!
And if any of you awesome peeps are going to be in the LA area on April 30, you can come celebrate with me, Jen Mann, and 3 other contributors, Kathryn Leehane, Tracy Sano, and Mackenzie Cheeseman at our Book Reading/Signing Party!
We’re all humor writers so we’re going to read hella-funny stuff, share cupcakes, and sign books! So if you happen to live near LA, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you can join us at 12 noon on April 30 at Calabasas Library, 200 Civic Center Way, Calabasas, CA!
Meanwhile, you’ll also enjoy reading all the stories and essays in the book by the other fabulously talented writers!
And guess what? PERFECT MOTHER’S DAY GIFT!
Aw hell yeah!
So pony up some pretty pennies to buy a copy for you – and yo mama – and yo sister & neighbor & teacher & Zumba partner & parole officer!
THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY DID-I-MENTION-I’M-A-PUBLISHED-AUTHOR HEART!
— Darcy Perdu
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(So excited, you guys! Hope you check out the book at Amazon.com – or the library – or just read over someone’s shoulder! I hope you like it!!)