So then…I scream, “HOT DAMN & HALLELUJAH! I WON! I WON!”
I dance a little jig — my goofy grin beaming.
I am so excited! Blogher just announced the Voices of the Year winners for the upcoming Blogher Conference in Chicago!
My mind’s ablaze with this fantastic news – and yet, my Rationale Self can’t help but add some much-needed perspective…
Me: I won, I won! I am aaaaaawesome!
Rational Self (RS): Fantastic! What did you win?
Me: I dunno – “Funniest Writer in the World” or something like that! Blogher chose ME!
RS: Well, read the article.
Me: Oh, OK, there were 2,600 submissions and Blogher chose 100 Voices of the Year – including me! WooHoo! I’m the 4th Best Humor Writer on the Internet!
RS: 4th Best Humor Writer – are you sure?
Me: Yeah, see right here – Darcy Perdu is the 4th name on the Humor list!
RS: Is it possible the names are listed in alphabetical order?
Me: Oh.
RS: Hmm.
Me: Well, maybe that is a COINCIDENCE! Maybe everyone’s rank happens to COINCIDE with the first letter of their na—
RS: Darcy…
Me: OK, OK, but STILL! I am on the list of the 25 Humor Voices! This is amazing! I’m gonna write a speech and—
RS: Are you sure there’s a speech?
Me: Yes, see, the article says the speeches will be given by, given by…oh. OK, well they chose 3 people for speeches in each category, but not me. Hmm. OK, but I’m happy for them.
RS: Really?
Me: Yes, of course, I’m happy for them – in a totally jealous, but reluctantly respectful, way because I just read their damn posts and they are damn hilarious!
RS: They are very funny.
Me: Yeah, and it says here I get to go up on stage with the other winners and take a bow and get my picture taken and receive a gold-plated Rolls Royce!
RS: Really?
Me: Well, I don’t know about the last part, but I get to go on staaaaaaaaage! I am trying on outfits RIGHT NOW!
RS: The conference isn’t for 3 weeks. Don’t be psycho.
Me: OK, but in my HEAD, I am trying on outfits – and I – look – FABULOUS!
RS: Great.
Me: And they list the websites of the other 24 bloggers in the Humor category, so I can email ALL of them – and we will become besties – and hang out at the whole conference together!! Maybe I can sew us some sashes that say Humor VOTY – or hot glue some rhinestones on matching tiaras – OMIGOD, I CANNOT WAIT! I am too excited! We can conspire together to create some crazy skits when we’re on stage like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Melissa McCarthy do at the Emmys & Golden Globes! Omigod, I should totally contact Tina and Amy and Melissa. And Mindy Kaling and Jenny Lawson and David Sedaris. They are so gonna wanna know about my award!! Where is the IMBD.com of the writing world?! I need their contact info STAT!!
RS: (puts head down on desk and sighs)
— Darcy Perdu
Check out the other incredible bloggers in the Humor Category for Voices of the Year 2013. They are so fun and funny (and my soon-to-be besties!)
In the Humor category:
- Anna Sandler from Random Handprints for I’d Like to Thank the Academy
- Bec Oakley from snagglebox for Real Parent Pinterest
- Cindy Reed from The Reedster Speaks for Real Moms Don’t Wear Thongs
- Darcy Perdu from So Then… Stories for A Diamond in the Breast
- Erica Mullenix from Free Fringes for How Erica Has Her Panic Attacks: A Step by Step Guide
- Erin Dymowski and Ellen Williams from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms forThe Sensible Sisterhood Summer Camp
- Heather Gauthier from Creative Devolution for A Whole Lot of No Babies Coming Out of Me
- Janie Emaus from HuffPost for Senioritis
- Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat for Lock & Load – Moms Night Out at the Gun Range
- Jennifer Ball Tufford from The Happy Hausfrau for A Post About Tampons, Vaginas, and Episiotomies
- Johanna Stein from Mother Eff’ed for Planning the Perfect Birth and Other Ridiculous Notions
- Kim Forde from The Fordeville Diaries for Facebook is Broken
- Kristin Alexander from What She Said for A Parent’s Prayer for Potty Training in the Digital Age
- Lauren Gallagher from Filing Jointly… Finally for From Now On I Only Go to the Grocery Store Incognito
- Leslie Marinelli from The Bearded Iris for Diary of a Sexually Maturing Leopard Gecko
- Mandy Fishburn from Mandy Fish for More, Por Favor
- Megan Larkin from Larks Note This for Companion Possum
- Mary Laura Philpott from I Miss You When You Blink for Cursing: An Editorial Style Guide
- Pat Dunnigan from Suburban Kamikaze for 18 Parenting Lessons Learned in Only 18 Years
- Rachel Callahan from Grasping for Objectivity for Parenthood 2.0
- Victoria Elizabeth Barnes from VictoriaElizabethBarnes.com for My paramour. My inamorata. My one true love: Craigslist.
Lisa Carpenter from Grandma’s Briefs receives the People’s Choice Award for Humor for The Grandma in a Box, and the readers for Humor will be:
- Fadra Nally from All Things Fadra
- JC Little from The Animated Woman
- Zakary Watson from Raising Colorado
And check out the other 75 amazing Voices of the Year in the categories of Heart, Inspiration, and Op Ed at http://www.blogher.com/announcing-voices-year-13-community-keynote-honorees-and-readers.
Thank you, Blogher, for this awesome honor! I am so excited! And thank you, everyone who has been reading my blog – you are rockstars!
Darcy Perdu
(Send me decoration ideas for sashes and tiaras for the Humor VOTY gang! And tell all your friends you are now reading an AWARD-WINNING BLOG! Woot! Woot! Share your Comments!)
Hot damn, indeed!!
thanks!
Well deserved, Darcy! So happy for you!
Be sure to dress wisely when you accept your award because all your fans (including me) will be dressing up as you at next year’s Darcy Con… which I know is going to be a thing! :-) Congrats!
omg — Darcy Con? I LOVE this idea! Leave it to you, DWP, to fuel my ego frenzy fire! I love it!
SO EXCITED for you!! That is absolutely FABULOUS!! :) Congratulations…and obviously, you know you MUST share with all of us what you decided to wear! ;)-The Dose Girls
Thanks, Lisa & Ashley! I’m leaning toward lime green spandex and red (p)leather boots.
OMG now I totally wish I could go because I was going to wear booty shorts with fringe boots and a jaunty fedora. And Ashley will even tell you I am probably not lying. Damn.
Cindy – The Reedster Speaks recently posted..Why isn’t The Bloggess my BFF yet?
Awesome! I would be out on my deck screaming and dancing – my poor neighbors. I also often have whole conversations with my mind. I like to think it is a sign of extreme intelligence.
Yes! Great minds of extreme intelligence think alike — and talk to themselves!
Congratulations! This is fabulous!
Of all of the writers on that list, you are the only one I read. For me, You are No. 1 (and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). :)
Thanks for such a fabulous compliment, Gail Kushner!
Well, I think you’re AT LEAST the 4th funniest, and I’ll back that shit up with a certificate and EVERYTHING!!! :)
Congratulations on a well-deserved honor!
LOL! Thanks for having my back! I’d like my certificate in purple, please, with some butterflies on it!
My dearest Darcy, it’s destiny that your derring-dos draw delightful decorations from dynamically dramaturges and humorists! Brava!
thank you for the alluringly awesome alliteration!
Awesome!!
Darcy, even if you are 25th, it’s absolutely awesome – there are gazillions of blogs on Blogher. WELL DONE.
Vivian recently posted..Hamba Kahle Baba
thank you!
Alllllright!!!
Well, I am happy for you and sharing your enjoyment.
By the way, thanks for sharing the inner-dialogue. I often have this type of conversation with myself. Thanks for making me feel just a bit less crazy.
thanks, Stephanie!
Congrats!!
WOO HOO! Congrats, Darcy! That’s freaking amazing!!!!! And so well deserved. You are so freaking funny!!! Go you!!!!
Dani Ryan recently posted..Getting my priorities straight
thank you, Dani!
Haw haw. Now there’s a post I’d love to see read out loud at next year’s VOTY’s.
Ha! I’ll save my sash and tiara, just in case!
You are so awesome! And I have, like, three tiaras that I would totally wear with you if I could come and I know we would be BFFs except The Bloggess has already promised to be my BFF. AND I AM NOT EVEN LYING. I asked her and she said yes on my blog. I’d link but that would be spammy.
Congrats to you! ~ Cindy
Cindy – The Reedster Speaks recently posted..Why isn’t The Bloggess my BFF yet?
Wish you could come to Blogger — you would totally rock the tiara with booty shorts!
But when you say you are going to be the BFF of The Bloggess, I hope you mean Butler For Free — because she is already MY BFF Best Friends Forever. I mean, she doesn’t know it yet. I’ve been mainly communicating telephathically, but I think she will figure it out soon and totally agree to be my bestie! Actually we can all be BFFs together!!!!
Goddammit. This means I’m 16th funniest. This won’t do at all.
I’m trying to figure out HOW I can get my ass to Chicago for this thing. Airfare is cheap, but the $400 to get into the conference…that’s a lot of groceries.
If I do make it there, I am 100% willing to be the Melissa McCarthy to your Tina Fey. Or Amy Poehler. We will rock that stage, my new BFF.
Love,
Jenny (but not the Bloggess Jenny. Just Jenny.)
Congrats to you! And nothing wrong with being #25… I’d do anything to be 25… Either in years or in BlogHer ranking! :)
Ha! I agree! I’d HAPPILY be 25 again!
Hi Darcy,
Congratulations on winning the award! I actually read your stories as well, even though I don’t always get to reply to them! Keep it up!
– Mary @ elance
Thank you, Mary! And thank YOU for the wonderful illustrations you have created for some of my stories like “Worst Carpool Ever,” “Betrayed By My Family — SIX Times,”Oh HELL NO,” and the soon-to-be-posted “I Shall Staple It to His Forehead.” You are such a talented artist! And I’m so happy you’re enjoying the stories!
And, THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to draw for YOU!
Darcy, I can’t believe you listed all the winners with links on your site. That’s incredibly considerate and awesome. Thanks for including me in your meet-up plans. I’m sad I won’t be there with you to receive our Rolls (Rollses?). Have fun!
Erica M recently posted..31dbbb at yeah write weekly writing challenge: day five—write an email to a blog reader + yeah write challenge #116 crowd favourite
Congrats on the award win! Bravo! Now don’t go getting a big head! :-)
Phil recently posted..Travel for 4th of July? Are you nuts? I’ll stay right here in NYC!
Thanks, Phil!
This is so COOL!! I am very happy for you :D
I’ve loved your blog and have been following for a while. You totally deserve it!
Xae recently posted..Rock Concerts, Lingerie Shopping, and Maahefun
Thank you, Xae! And I’m glad you’ve been following because I’ve been enjoying your comments!
Bravo, Darcy!
William Kendall recently posted..A Day In The Life Of A Garden Gnome
thanks, William!
Tiaras would have been awesome. It was great to meet you!
-SK
Suburban Kamikaze recently posted..Once a largely thankless job, complaining about your teenagers now brings big honors
Great to meet you too! Really enjoyed attending your session!