So then…I scream, “HOT DAMN & HALLELUJAH! I WON! I WON!”
I dance a little jig — my goofy grin beaming.
I am so excited! Blogher just announced the Voices of the Year winners for the upcoming Blogher Conference in Chicago!
My mind’s ablaze with this fantastic news – and yet, my Rationale Self can’t help but add some much-needed perspective…
Me: I won, I won! I am aaaaaawesome!
Rational Self (RS): Fantastic! What did you win?
Me: I dunno – “Funniest Writer in the World” or something like that! Blogher chose ME!
RS: Well, read the article.
Me: Oh, OK, there were 2,600 submissions and Blogher chose 100 Voices of the Year – including me! WooHoo! I’m the 4th Best Humor Writer on the Internet!
RS: 4th Best Humor Writer – are you sure?
Me: Yeah, see right here – Darcy Perdu is the 4th name on the Humor list!
RS: Is it possible the names are listed in alphabetical order?
Me: Well, maybe that is a COINCIDENCE! Maybe everyone’s rank happens to COINCIDE with the first letter of their na—
Me: OK, OK, but STILL! I am on the list of the 25 Humor Voices! This is amazing! I’m gonna write a speech and—
RS: Are you sure there’s a speech?
Me: Yes, see, the article says the speeches will be given by, given by…oh. OK, well they chose 3 people for speeches in each category, but not me. Hmm. OK, but I’m happy for them.
Me: Yes, of course, I’m happy for them – in a totally jealous, but reluctantly respectful, way because I just read their damn posts and they are damn hilarious!
RS: They are very funny.
Me: Yeah, and it says here I get to go up on stage with the other winners and take a bow and get my picture taken and receive a gold-plated Rolls Royce!
Me: Well, I don’t know about the last part, but I get to go on staaaaaaaaage! I am trying on outfits RIGHT NOW!
RS: The conference isn’t for 3 weeks. Don’t be psycho.
Me: OK, but in my HEAD, I am trying on outfits – and I – look – FABULOUS!
Me: And they list the websites of the other 24 bloggers in the Humor category, so I can email ALL of them – and we will become besties – and hang out at the whole conference together!! Maybe I can sew us some sashes that say Humor VOTY – or hot glue some rhinestones on matching tiaras – OMIGOD, I CANNOT WAIT! I am too excited! We can conspire together to create some crazy skits when we’re on stage like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Melissa McCarthy do at the Emmys & Golden Globes! Omigod, I should totally contact Tina and Amy and Melissa. And Mindy Kaling and Jenny Lawson and David Sedaris. They are so gonna wanna know about my award!! Where is the IMBD.com of the writing world?! I need their contact info STAT!!
RS: (puts head down on desk and sighs)
— Darcy Perdu
Check out the other incredible bloggers in the Humor Category for Voices of the Year 2013. They are so fun and funny (and my soon-to-be besties!)
In the Humor category:
- Anna Sandler from Random Handprints for I’d Like to Thank the Academy
- Bec Oakley from snagglebox for Real Parent Pinterest
- Cindy Reed from The Reedster Speaks for Real Moms Don’t Wear Thongs
- Darcy Perdu from So Then… Stories for A Diamond in the Breast
- Erica Mullenix from Free Fringes for How Erica Has Her Panic Attacks: A Step by Step Guide
- Erin Dymowski and Ellen Williams from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms forThe Sensible Sisterhood Summer Camp
- Heather Gauthier from Creative Devolution for A Whole Lot of No Babies Coming Out of Me
- Janie Emaus from HuffPost for Senioritis
- Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat for Lock & Load – Moms Night Out at the Gun Range
- Jennifer Ball Tufford from The Happy Hausfrau for A Post About Tampons, Vaginas, and Episiotomies
- Johanna Stein from Mother Eff’ed for Planning the Perfect Birth and Other Ridiculous Notions
- Kim Forde from The Fordeville Diaries for Facebook is Broken
- Kristin Alexander from What She Said for A Parent’s Prayer for Potty Training in the Digital Age
- Lauren Gallagher from Filing Jointly… Finally for From Now On I Only Go to the Grocery Store Incognito
- Leslie Marinelli from The Bearded Iris for Diary of a Sexually Maturing Leopard Gecko
- Mandy Fishburn from Mandy Fish for More, Por Favor
- Megan Larkin from Larks Note This for Companion Possum
- Mary Laura Philpott from I Miss You When You Blink for Cursing: An Editorial Style Guide
- Pat Dunnigan from Suburban Kamikaze for 18 Parenting Lessons Learned in Only 18 Years
- Rachel Callahan from Grasping for Objectivity for Parenthood 2.0
- Victoria Elizabeth Barnes from VictoriaElizabethBarnes.com for My paramour. My inamorata. My one true love: Craigslist.
Lisa Carpenter from Grandma’s Briefs receives the People’s Choice Award for Humor for The Grandma in a Box, and the readers for Humor will be:
- Fadra Nally from All Things Fadra
- JC Little from The Animated Woman
- Zakary Watson from Raising Colorado
And check out the other 75 amazing Voices of the Year in the categories of Heart, Inspiration, and Op Ed at http://www.blogher.com/announcing-voices-year-13-community-keynote-honorees-and-readers.
Thank you, Blogher, for this awesome honor! I am so excited! And thank you, everyone who has been reading my blog – you are rockstars!
(Send me decoration ideas for sashes and tiaras for the Humor VOTY gang! And tell all your friends you are now reading an AWARD-WINNING BLOG! Woot! Woot! Share your Comments!)