Human Head Found WHERE?

This news article is cracking me up - look how they describe this bizarre event! #funny #strange #humor

So then…I click on the headline, “Human Head Found in Bag,” because — seriously, how could you not?

The Los Angeles Times online article says:

“The human head, housed inside a bag, was discovered by a dog at the popular Bronson Canyon Park hiking trail. The Los Angeles Times adds that detectives are searching for other possible body parts nearby in the park, and that this is being considered a possible homicide.”

Let’s read that last part again:

“…this is being considered a possible homicide.”

I snort with laughter.

They find a HEAD — in a BAG –and they CONSIDER it a POSSIBLE homicide?

As opposed to what?

An accident?
“I accidentally popped my head off into that bag. Shit. I hate when that happens.”

A suicide?
“I committed suicide by eating my body — and all that’s left is my head. Because I draw the line at eating brains. That’s just gross.”

A hoax?
“Yes, that’s my head, but I’m not actually dead. My body is alive and well in Encino. I just removed my head for a short time since we’re not getting along right now. As soon as Head apologizes for its rude and inconsiderate behavior, then Body will re-attach. Please leave my head where you found it – as well as the bag. It’s Louis Vuitton.”

— Darcy Perdu

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(Any news stories catch your eye lately that seem odd? Have you ever accidentally popped your head off into a bag? Do tell in the Comments Section!)

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17 replies on “Human Head Found WHERE?

  1. Oh Darcy! You always make me laugh! I love how they phrase things in the paper. I saw a billboard about Meth that said “Not Even Once”. Really? Not even once? Please?

    Or how they’ll say ” Be seen by a licensed physician”. You mean you have to specify that? Good God!

  2. Judy said:

    Yes! Yes! Yes! We had a story in our paper awhile back they found the nude body of a woman hanging in a tree by a noose around the neck, she had been stabbed multiple times, and received a gunshot to the head as well. They suspected “FOUL PLAY.” They didn’t even chalk it up to possible homicide, just foul play. Which means there are rules for this sort of thing and someone went afoul of them? I confess I also wondered where anyone found a tree big enough and strong enough to hang someone from. It had to be near a source of water otherwise our trees just do the short scrawny thing.

  3. Buffy said:

    Once in my local paper we saw an ad for a proof reader for the paper and right under it was an add for a night shit operator.

  4. Chris said:

    Well Darcy, in all fairness, you cannot assume it was a homicide. Someone could have stolen the head or bought it on ebay. Perhaps the person died of natural causes and in their will they stated they wanted their head put in a LV bag and left on the side of a trail in Bronson Canyon Park. . . what, it could happen.

    • AinOakPark said:

      Do you think, if they resell the bag on ebay that they will have to disclose that it once held a head?

      • William Kendall said:

        Ah, that’s the question, isn’t it?

        What a story!

  5. Darcy, your story was hilarious and how true. I laughed aloud at Buffy’s comment.

  6. This one requires some background (and, by the way, is a bit gross for some people–maybe don’t read it while you’re eating.) When I took anatomy in medical school (least favorite class ever, by the way), we (obviously) had to dissect cadavers. We worked in teams of four students per body, and the theory, I think, was that among the four, at least one person would be skilled enough to do the dissection without totally mangling the structures that we were supposed to be able to see and learn from. However, just in case, the TAs had done what were called “prosections” of some of the more difficult structures, so if your team didn’t do a very good job with the head and neck, let’s say, you could go into the area where they kept the prosections and look at the expertly dissected head and neck and learn where everything was. The cadavers were kept in these long metal boxes with formaldehyde-type stuff in them called “tanks”, and the prosections, when they weren’t actively being looked at, were also kept in a tank. Our anatomy lab consisted of two big rooms with a little room in between. The little room was used as a storage room for extra/empty tanks, and that’s where the prosections were kept most of the time. With me so far?

    This story happened, if I remember correctly, a year or two after I had taken anatomy. I was still in medical school at the time. One day, a big story broke on the local news that there had been a multiple murder or serial killing, because multiple body parts, mainly heads if I remember correctly, had been found at a warehouse or a scrap metal facility or something like that. It ultimately turned out that during a school break (I forget if it was summer or Christmas, but it was a time that anatomy class was not in session) a maintenance man was getting rid of old/broken/unused metal tanks from the anatomy lab storage room, and he unwittingly got rid of one that was not actually empty but had prosections in it. So, some poor person at this scrapyard or whatever it was opened these tanks and found a little surprise. The director of the anatomy course had to do a lot of talking to the media about how it could have happened and so forth. It was twenty years ago, and I think something similar happened at another medical school in Texas a few years later so I might be getting the facts mixed up, but I’m pretty sure it turned out that the person who got rid of the tanks was doing it without permission and was making money from it, by selling them when he should have just been discarding them, so that added a whole other layer of scandal. And, at both my medical school when this happened, and the other one a few years later, there was of course a lot of negative publicity and there was real concern that people (and their family members, especially) wouldn’t want to donate their bodies to medical schools if they were going to be so haphazardly discarded. Anyway, it was a mess.

    • Quite a few years ago my husband found a human femur in the ditch in front of our house. It was obviously very old, so no rush, but I did call the police just to say “Ah, fellas…”.

      The officer who came out said that in the 1920s one of the big teaching hospitals (back when most hospitals had nursing schools, at least) had disposed of a number of cadavers – by taking them to the local landfill! Fast forward to the mid-90s, when the county was repairing and replacing a lot of bridges, and they got some fill dirt – from guess where? At least all we found was a leg bone. One poor man picked up a mandible!
      Lady Anne recently posted..Now We’re Cooking With – Electric?My Profile

  7. What if it was a performance art piece based on the premise that we have become so interested in fashion and stuff that we metaphorically carry our identity in the fashion objects that we buy?

    hey?
    HEY?

    Somewhere there is an artist nodding gravely at the possibility.

    OR what if the poor sap decided that it was time to end it all, and set up some kind of chain reaction thing that started with a bowling ball rolling down a ramp – moved on to a couple of car tyres bouncing against a fan switch WHICH in turn blew a toy boat across a playpool to set off the trigger for a biodegradable guillotine, thus lopping off the head, having it fall in a bag?

    Any mention of wading pools and car tyres?

  8. I know, I know — somebody was working construction and a sheet of metal came flying down and sliced the head and then it landed in that bag. See — no homicide involved.
    Vivian recently posted..I don’t want to get upMy Profile

    • Ha! OK, you got me! I’ve found a few…created a few…bowled with a few…

  9. D-Marie said:

    Am I the only one who would seriously consider carrying the Louis if it were up for grabs after?