What is the meaning of life?
What happens when you die?
Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
*The above are Frequently Asked Questions, but regrettably I do not know the answers
FAQ that I can actually answer
What prompted you to create this website?
One of my favorite things to do is sit around with family and friends, sharing funny stories about our jobs, kids, relationships, and random events. Amidst the laughing, mocking, and teasing, it’s amazing how many anecdotes remind others of related experiences. When someone shares an embarrassing encounter with a cop over a speeding ticket, it reminds someone else of the time they almost got arrested at a heavy metal concert, which reminds someone else of seeing a fading rock star buying pickles at the Piggly-Wiggly – and the stories just keep flowing from there.
So I thought, wouldn’t it be cool to see if we could create that kind of story-telling sequence on this website – where people can read funny life stories and add their own?
Over the years, I’ve jotted down some of the events and remarks that have cracked me up the most, so I’m posting them here in the hopes you’ll get a chuckle out of them too. But more importantly, I hope they inspire you to share a humorous story from your life that relates in some way to the story that’s posted. This way, readers of the website can enjoy stories from all the other readers too. We’ll all be “sharing the funny, one story at a time.”
Are your stories true?
Yes. For legal reasons, I suppose I should say “mostly true” or “to the best of my recollection.” Some of the details may be off a bit due to a fuzzy memory or a cocktail haze – maybe the dress was blue, not green – or the drink was a margarita, not a mojito – but the basic substance of the story is absolutely true. The events and verbal exchanges actually did occur, and this is how I remember them. I have an almost audio-graphic memory, plus I love witty comments, so I’m pretty adept at recalling dialogue or the essence of the dialogue. Also, I often jot it down when something comical or interesting occurs – especially if it involves my kids.
For those of you who know me, you’ll recognize these stories as true because you’ve heard me tell them at parties or lunches – or perhaps you’re actually IN some of the stories! I hope you don’t mind me sharing your witty remarks – you crack me up and I think it’s only fair to share that with others! And I will protect your identity.
Why don’t you use real names?
Although I blatantly mock and ridicule my friends and family in real life, they would probably be less tolerant if I named names and detailed deeds on the internet for all to see. To protect their privacy, I don’t use their real names.
Of course the person I mock the most in these stories is me. And since I do have a reasonably respectable job, I’d hate to be dooced* (shout-out to Heather B. Armstrong) [*dooced: to be fired for something you’ve written on your blog] It’s possible that some of the material posted here might not be appropriate for some of my clients, vendors, or future employers, so I’m using a pseudonym to allow me some plausible deniability. So if you know me, please help protect my identity by refraining from using my real name in the Comments section!
And finally, although my kids are two of the funniest people I know — and they’re very supportive of this website, it’s possible they may not want to have each humiliating childhood episode linked with their real names on the internet for all time.
So the stories are basically true – but all the names have been changed.
Are the stories in chronological order?
Nope. It’s great to have the freedom to jump around in time to share events that strike me as hilarious or puzzling or infuriating.
So today might feature a story about a recent work mishap, tomorrow’s story might be about something my kid did in kindergarten years ago, then the next day’s story might be about my first job as a teenager.
My kids appear in stories as teens and tots and everything in between. I’ve been single, and married, and now single again – but it’s all amicable, so my former husband appears in some stories during and after our marriage. (He has an exceptional sense of humor so he’s cool with it.) And since I’ve lived in 3 countries and 10 states – and enjoyed careers in several industries, there’s no telling where a story might be located.
I don’t think it will confuse readers to see stories from different times in my life – and hopefully you can recall stories from your earlier days to share as well!
I’m your friend/relative/coworker/neighbor and I think I just recognized something funny I said or did in one of your stories! If that’s me, will you tell me?
Yes. Yes, I will.
Will you also share with me any financial riches that you might gain from the sale or publication of that story?
No. No, I won’t.
If I remind you of a funny incident we shared, will you write a story about it?
Sure, send me the info.
If I remind you of a funny but MORTIFYING incident we shared, will you promise NOT to write a story about it?
Sure, send me $500 in small, unmarked bills.
Will you allow Hollywood to bastardize your blog for financial gain?
Hell, yeah. Bring it on. I will gleefully sell the rights to my blog for TV, movies, animation, or pop-up books.