So then…I round the corner of our uber-plush offices on my way to a staff meeting, still pinching myself that I made it all the way from down-home Louisiana to this Park Avenue job in New York City!
At 22 years old, with only a couple weeks on the job, I’m the very epitome of “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!”
I shift my files to the other arm and hope I remember some of the names of the people I’ve met so far. As I head down the long hallway, a smiling woman approaches.
She stops in front of me and says, “Laura Ashley.”
I extend my hand and say, “Hi Laura, nice to meet you.”
She frowns at me and waves off my hand, repeating the name, this time with a question mark: “Laura Ashley?”
“No,” I say kindly, relieved I’m not the only one who can’t remember people’s names. “My name is Darcy Perdu. Nice to meet you.”
She “tsks” loudly and shakes her head. “No!” She points at me, up and down. “You! Laura Ashley!”
Omigod, what is with this woman and her insistence that I’m Laura Ashley?
And she seems quite perturbed about it. Does Laura owe her money or something? Did Laura steal her boyfriend?
I’m just about to pull out my ID to prove I’m not Laura, when the woman points at me again and says, “Your dress. Is your dress Laura Ashley?”
Ohhhh. Laura Ashley must be some kind of designer. I’m not familiar with the name so I have no idea if my dress has that label or not.
So I say, “Oh, I don’t know. Um, I’m not sure.” I fumble for the label in the back of my dress.
“Oh,” she says, “If it were Laura Ashley, you’d know.” She waves her hand dismissively, continues on her way, and tosses over her shoulder, “I was just going to say it was pretty.”
I look down at my dress. It IS pretty. It’s covered with a pattern of colorful tiny flowers, which I later learn is similar to a typical style of Laura Ashley dresses.
But what puzzles me is how warm and friendly the woman was when she thought I was wearing an expensive name brand dress –
and how frustrated she became when I didn’t recognize that name –
and how she muttered impatiently that she WAS going to say it was pretty –
but almost implied that it was no longer pretty once it was revealed to be an off-brand imitation.
Well, guess what, lady?
I WAS going to say it was nice to meet you – but it wasn’t!
And now me and my off-brand flower-di-da dress are flouncing off la-di-da to the meeting!
— Darcy Perdu
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(Any awkward moments similar to my assumption that the lady was Laura Ashley? I love embarrassing stories, so do tell! And when did you first realize that clothing had names?)
TRUMPETS BLARING!! Ladies and gentlemen, permit me to present Her Royal Thighness!
Yes, friends, we are amongst royalty – but the very best kind of royalty. Parri Sontag describes herself as the Everywoman ─ “a middle-aged, weight-challenged, chocolate cake-loving semi-professional dieter with a passion for musical theater.”
I first encountered Her Royal Thighness when I read her hilarious story Mom’s Helpful Hints Fall on Deaf Armpits about all the fabulous advice she tries to impart to her teenage daughter who doesn’t seem to recognize just how fabulous it is. When I read this line:
“Mom,” she stopped me. “I really don’t need any more of your deodorant wisdom.”
I completely cracked up because that sounds exactly like something MY daughter would say to ME when I’m trying to pass on MY brilliant bon mots of advice and guidance.
Then I saw that Parri had listed my So Then Stories blog on her link “Who Makes the Thighness Laugh” – and that she had purchased an ad on my site. Wow, I like her AND she likes me? How cool is this? THEN I met her in person at the Erma Bombeck Conference and found out that she’s just as bubbly, funny, and warm-hearted as she is in her posts.
So grab your royal scepter, settle in to your comfiest throne, and enjoy some of these hilarious posts from Parri Sontag of Her Royal Thighness:
Like her Facebook Page: Her Royal Thighness
Follow her Twitter: Her Royal Thighness
And if you leave a comment, please tell her I sent you!
Enjoy! — Darcy Perdu
P.S. And please remember to share a comment below about any of your awkward encounters similar to my Laura Ashley identity crisis!