Do I Embarrass Myself in Front of Celebrities? Why Yes, Yes I Do!

Backstage Bungle -- funny & embarrassing story!  @SoThenStories

So then…I confess that I neglected to share a rather embarrassing tale from my recent trip to Vegas with my two teen kids and their three pals.

Oh sure, I shared our shenanigans and hypnotized hilarity – but of course, no trip is complete without my own personal embarrassment…

THE BACKSTAGE BUNGLE
Our friend arranges for us to see a comedian friend of his, so the teens and I get awesome free seats and an opportunity to meet the comedian backstage afterwards.

The show’s hilarious! We love it!

Afterwards, an usher brings us to an attractive guy named Jim who’s the comedian’s assistant or road manager or something. He takes us backstage to a waiting room, then into the comedian’s dressing room.

The kids and I greet the comedian and thank him for the seats.

While the kids are talking to the comedian, I go off to the side with Jim. I gesture toward the kids with my Iphone and whisper to him, “Do you think it’s OK if I take a picture?”

“Sure!” he says, “That’s flattering!”

“Oh, OK,” I say shyly. “I never know. I don’t want to ask a celeb for a photo if it’s too pushy or something.”

“Not at all!” says Jim, smiling. “I’m happy to take a photo with them. They probably won’t know who I am though!”

Huh?

I look at him strangely. They won’t know who you are? I don’t know who you are, either!

So I’m looking at this Jim guy totally confused, when suddenly –

LIGHTBULB!

Oh, damn. Now I remember! The comedian mentioned during the show that his friend was in the audience – a singer from a popular boy band in the late 90’s.

Oh, damn, damn, damn. Jim’s not the comedian’s assistant! He’s the friend – who’s also a celeb! And he thinks I’m asking for HIS picture!

I quickly try to recover gracefully, nodding my head enthusiastically, like yes yes that’s exactly what I intended all along please by all means get in this photo you delicious little former boy-bander you!

So then follows a horribly awkward photo shoot where I’m directing my kids and their friends to all smush together in pics with the comedian and the hottie 90’s singer-dancer.

Argh!

Could I just make it through ONE WEEK without embarrassing myself?

Nope.

As we leave the theater, walking along, I stop dead in my tracks and gasp!

Because now I remember something that makes me wince with fresh new embarrassment.

Before we went to the comedian’s dressing room, about 10 of us were squeezed into a tiny waiting room — me, the 5 teens with me, a few friends of the comedian, and Jim.

Jim was standing and the rest of us were sitting on two benches facing each other – smashed in so close, our knees were touching the people seated opposite us!

After awhile, conversation petered out a bit, so one of the adults said, “We need some entertainment while we’re waiting” and someone said something to Jim like, “Are you humming over there?”

He grinned — so I asked, “Oh, do you sing?” in that tone of voice you use when you discover someone who has one job — has just been revealed to have another talent.

Like the tone of voice I’d use if my plumber glanced longingly at my piano and I said with a tinge of surprise, “Oh, do you play?”

I was thinking, “Oh, Jim the assistant also happens to sing.  That’s cool.”

And when I asked “Oh, do you sing?” — Jim and the others laughed which I took to mean “Good God, no!” which is the same response I’d give – because I’m a dreadful singer (even the nuns say so).

Just then, the door opened and we filed out to the comedian’s dressing room.  One of the women smiled at me and murmured, “That’s a good one.”

NOW it all makes sense. She and the others thought I KNEW Jim was a famous former boy bander so they interpreted my question to be “faux innocent” – like I was ribbing him or teasing him!

Like batting my eyelashes and asking Kobe Bryant, “Oh, do you play ball?”
Or asking Meryl Streep, “Oh, do you act?”
Asking Miley Cyrus, “Oh, do you twerk?”
Asking that old Vatican guy with the funny hat, “Oh, are you religious?”

So Jim and the other adults all thought I was being clever and coy and maybe even flirtatious!

But I was just being completely clueless – which, I suppose, is its own special talent.

Embarrassing myself being yet another special talent I possess.

So, former boy bander, if you ever read this post – just know that you’re still smokin’ hot and I’d love to hear you croon anytime, baby!

— Darcy Perdu

PS I changed his name for this post so as not to embarrass him – or myself – any further!

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(Ever embarrassed yourself in front of a celeb? Do you know all the 90’s boy banders by sight?)

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42 replies on “Do I Embarrass Myself in Front of Celebrities? Why Yes, Yes I Do!

  1. Lizzy said:

    Back when I was in high school, over the summer the drama teacher put together a group of about 12 of us to go see the Utah Shakespearean Festival.
    We are all 15-16 years old.
    So after the shows we would hang around and try to get autographs from the actors. After one particular show we (the girls) really wanted to get this one minor actors autograph. Because he was HOT and we were 15-16 and shallow like that.
    We weren’t the only teenage girls hanging around either. So this guy is getting mobbed and I see the lead actor come out. And deciding to “be nice” and get his autograph even though he was “old”.
    Later our drama teacher yelled at most of us for mobbing the Hot Guy, and not getting the autograph of the BROADWAY famous actor. I got out of being yelled at by being the only one “smart” enough to grab him.
    And yes, I got the Hot Guy’s autograph too. Still have all the autographs from that summer.

    As for 90’s boy bands. I remember when Nick Lachey was suddenly on a bunch of tv shows and being famous. And I was all “who the heck is this guy? What’s so special about him?” Yeah, then found out he was a singer in one of the boy bands I actually liked. Huh. I doubt I could recognize any boy band members. Then or now.

    • Awww, that’s so sweet, Lizzy! I love that your nice gesture to ask the lead guy for his autograph helped you avoid the wrath of your teacher!

  2. Arionis said:

    LOL! If you were to put “Darcy” in a thesaurus it would come up with “awkward situation” as the first synonym!

    I got the book a few days ago. Thank you so much for the personal note. It really made my day. Your story is hilarious! I think So then… we were at Disney land stories are only outnumbered by So then… we were in Vegas stories. :)

    • HA! I LOVE the idea of my pic next to “awkward” in the dictionary! That’s hilarious!
      Glad you enjoyed the note and the story in the book!!
      You’re right — they should probably ban me from Vegas & Disneyland! Ha!

    • Yes! Excellent excuse!
      Just need to figure out how to thaw it! :)

  3. You can’t give us any more hints? I love embarrassing stories. I have so many that it makes me feel normal. Great post.
    Kristine @MumRevised recently posted..Moist MiseryMy Profile

    • Hint: The band was hot – like really hot.

      PS So glad you love embarrassing stories too! I love to hear them — and obviously, I love to star in them! Ha!

  4. When I was about 10, I was on a t.v. program (with about 100 other children) and one of my parents told the host (Morey Amsterdam) that I was taking tap dancing. Anyway, he called me up front and started talking to me. (Remember, this is live television). Somehow the word “mustard” came up & he started laughing out loud about how I pronounced it. I have no idea what was funny about it – and really, shaming a child? Was that a really good idea? After he stopped he made me do a tap dance (talk about humiliating) and I sat back down (fuming). Not sure who I was angrier at – him or my parents. When the show was over, everybody got a “goodie bag”, but when they saw me, they said I was to get a special gift – a Shirley Temple doll. (I’m pretty sure she was already a grown up at the time). Really? I’d rather have had the goodie bag. Thinking back on it now, of course, it would probably have brought good money on e-bay. Still embarrassed about that to this day.

    • Oh Barbara, so YOU’RE that girl? We’ve heard about the tap-dancing mustard-mispronouncer for years, but we didn’t know she really existed! HA! Just kidding, of course, but it’s funny how things from years ago can still embarrass us even though no one remembers it but us!

      I’m STILL embarrassed about a family portrait I took with all my bro’s and sis’s and their families years ago — everyone was dressed up so nice but I’d completely forgotten to bring shoes for my 18-month-old Tucker! I felt like his socked feet were a beacon to the world about what a disorganized, inept Mom I was! I’m sure if I polled any of the other 16 people in the photo, none of them would even remember he was shoeless, but I’m STILL embarrassed about it! Gah!

      • As a P.S. For those that don’t know his name, Morey Amsterdam was a comedian of some “fame” back then. He played a comedy writer on the Dick Van Dyke show (again, showing my age). He had the thickest New York accent, so I can’t imagine how I pronounced mustard to crack him up like that. HE pronounced it mustid!

        • HA! Then HE was the one with the funny accent, not you!

  5. Heather said:

    So what band was he in?

    • I really feel I should be discreet so as not to embarrass him further – the hint I just gave Kristine is that the band was hot – like really hot.

  6. Hayley said:

    My story has a wee back story – I used to work with horses and every morning you’d have to feed them before you could take them out of their stables into the paddock so we would take it in turns to just rock up in our PJs, feed and then go back home (we lived 100m away) and get dressed with everyone else…Anyway once when it was my turn I rocked up in bright pink satin Snoopy PJs and turned the corner and the entire team of our country’s number one sports team was there chatting with the owner..who thought it was a great idea to call me over and introduce me to everyone.

    • That’s hilarious!! Bright pink Snoopy PJs! I’m sure you made quite an impression on the sports team!

    • I’m with you! I could pick J.T. out of a line-up, but probably not anyone else!

  7. Theresa Stouder said:

    I am so curious to know WHO the singer was! LOL I am fixing to meet my all time fav group NKOTB and I am so worried that I will do something so stupid like trip in front of them or just babble like an idiot.

    • Trip ON them, Theresa! And squeeze and hug! If you’re gonna make a fool of yourself, at least get a li’l gropin’ in! Ha!

  8. Funny girl. Your special gift of being clueless was not wasted there. You see how it all worked out? There are plenty of people who would have botched that baby up and that guy would have figured out that he is not famous anymore. Not understanding the situation can be a good thing. Just keep working it and everyone comes out on top:)

    • Right? My motto is: just keep grinnin’ and maybe no one will notice what a dunderhead you are! :)

  9. Lee A Lewis said:

    I was a relatively new attorney and had moved to a new town to practice law with my best friend who had graduated 3 years ahead of me. Being new in town it was not uncommon for other attorneys and Judges to introduce me to people as they knew I was still learning the ropes.
    One day I walked into the Judge’s chambers to get some papers signed (this is before we sent everything around by e-mail for electronic signatures) and there was an older gentleman in worn out jeans and a faded plaid shirt, sitting there talking with the Judge and my law partner. The Judge introduced him to me by name, and I politely said hello and, thinking he was a local businessman or some such, asked him what he did. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “I’m on the Supreme Court.” At that moment, the name clicked and I realized I had been reading this man’s opinions for the last 3 years in school. My partner is trying (unsuccessfully) to keep from laughing and the local Judge is smiling and shaking his head (something I have since learned means he knows you did something stupid but he is not going to mention it as long as you never do it again).
    In the end I apologized and the SC Judge very graciously acted as if it was no big deal. Many (very many) years later my former partner (now a Judge himself) still likes to bring up this story just for a laugh or two.

    • Oh mah gah, Lee, I laughed so hard at your story! That is priceless! Young lawyer asks Supreme Court Judge, “What do you do?”
      And you’d been STUDYING the guy’s papers in law school!
      Bwahaha! That’s like a young writer asking Stephen King, “I’m sorry, what is it you do again?” (Then realizes he’s read 22 of Stephen King’s books!)
      Face palm! Love it!

  10. Crategirl said:

    Uhhhh, Garrett Morris

    • Bwahahaha! I can’t believe you remember that! I need to write about that!

  11. Dana said:

    I bet the kids didn’t know him, either!

    • Ha! No clue! They were thinking, “Why is Mom squishing this guy into the pic with us?”

    • Omigosh, Prabs, can’t wait to read it! I LOVE embarrassing celeb stories!

  12. Okay Darcy, now I NEED to know who “Jim” was! Can you DM me and tell me?? I promise I won’t spill it. Your secret is safe with me.

    I am still embarrassed when I think back to the summer of 1985 when I was in LA for a summer acting program and got tickets to a taping of “The Facts of Life”. (I know…) I had just seen “Back to the Future” the previous weekend. This was when Nancy McKeon was dating Michael J. Fox. So who do I see two rows behind me, but Nancy’s brother Phillip (I read a lot of Tiger Beat back in the day) and his good buddy Michael J. Fox. So I sauntered over trying to be all cool and “whatever” about it. I said to Michael J. Fox “I just saw Back to the Future and you were pretty good in it” in a really blasé tone of voice. They looked at each other, chuckled and he gave me his autograph and was very nice to me. But who knew that was going to be the huge summer blockbuster that year, and who the hell was I adopting that “Oh yeah, you were sorta okay in that” attitude? I still cringe when I think about it. And then there was the time when I was 8 years old that I met Gabe Kaplan after his stand-up show. He was my first real celebrity experience. I cried uncontrollably. IN front of him. On the way to the parking lot. All the way home. Aaannnnddd all the way through dinner that night as I told my family about it. I kept repeating “He touched my sweater…he touched my sweater…” Good God.

    • That’s hilarious!! I was laughing while I read you cried all the way home and even through dinner!!

      As for “Jim” — I can say that his band was hot, really hot, like many degrees hot — and he’s the cutie who started the group!

    • Michelle, we need to go clubbin’ together and deliberately seek out celebrities so we can embarrass ourselves together in style!

  13. Well I don’t, but last time I was in Vegas my friend did. Big time. We were sitting in the sushi restaurant at the Bellagio when suddenly she pointed, screamed, and vaulted up and over the planters that line the restaurant. She chased down a rather startled looking man with crazy blonde hair and who was wearing, of all things, a leather vest. She took multiple selfies with him before returning to our table. The moral of this story is you shouldn’t be embarrassed about not knowing a member of a 90s boy band, because at the very least, you did not hike up your skirt and jump planters like an Olympic hurdler to chase down Dog the Bounty Hunter in the middle of the Bellagio Hotel.
    One Salty Blonde recently posted..Dear Random Internet GuyMy Profile

    • Bwahaha! And all for Dog the Bounty Hunter? That’s hilarious!!
      Love your friend’s enthusiasm and dedication to the hunt for celebs! (pun intended)