So then…I open an email from one of the staff, Shelly, asking if she can purchase an item on the company credit card. I click the link and see this:
I email her:
Yes, you can use the company card.
What is the scale for?
We’ll need to note it on the credit card statement.
Shelly emails back:
It will be mainly for mailing purposes.
I think it’s funny how you say it’s “mainly” for mailing purposes.
What other purposes are there for a scale of this kind?
Are you starting a meth lab or something?
Shelly does not respond.
This means either:
a) Shelly does not appreciate my sense of humor
b) Shelly is starting a meth lab
What do you think?
Speaking of odd expenses – this reminds me that a few months back, one of the salespeople in my department submitted his expense statement for a Dallas trip that included $30 for a hotel gym fee.
Me: Dude, the company doesn’t reimburse gym fees.
Dan: But I skipped dinner. So the company didn’t have to pay for food — just my visit to the gym.
Me: Based on that logic, I could skip dinner on my next trip and buy an alligator. Would the company reimburse me for an alligator?
Dan: (laughing) You can’t buy an alligator for $30 bucks! Besides, if I don’t spend money on dinner, shouldn’t I be able to spend the money on something else I like better?
Me: What if you like strip clubs better?
Dan: I DO like strip clubs better!
Me: (laughing) But the company won’t reimburse you for strip club admission!
Dan: (laughing) But they should – they really should… (walks away with wistful look)
Then of course, there’s the time I really embarrassed myself with my OWN expense statement blunder!
— Darcy Perdu
The cool kids subscribe right HERE so they don’t miss any of the FUNNY!
(Should companies just pay a per diem for travel so businesspeople can choose to skip meals and spend the money on something else? Any creative accounting stories to share? IS Shelly starting a meth lab?)
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – In Fact, Don’t Sweat
So then…Jennifer Hall of Dancing in the Rain invites me to guest post for her series The View From Here where writers share their “unique perspective on life.” My immediate thought is, “Holy Cow! Does Jennifer’s website have enough ROOM to print my voluminous LIFE philosophy? I could go on for 47 HOURS on this topic!”
But then I decide to focus on just one of my favorite perspectives that I learned from my parents, so click on over to Dancing in the Rain — and while you’re there, check out some of Jennifer’s awesome posts!
Thanks for inviting me to guest post at your site, Jennifer! — Darcy