FAQ
1) Do the Perduin Sisters really exist?
In my mind. And now maybe in yours. They are the alter-egos of my past and present lives – I’ve been a single corporate exec in Manhattan – and a married mom in the LA suburbs. So the sisters allow me to share my real-life adventures in a slightly filtered way.
2) Are the stories true?
Most of the stories are true, with some embellishments, exaggerations, and literary license.
3) Why don’t you write the stories as yourself then?
Rather than write about my life as a memoir or personal blog, I decided to write the stories under the alter egos of Della and Darcy because…
a) Although I blatantly mock and ridicule my friends and family in real life, they would probably be less tolerant if I named names and detailed deeds on the internet for all to see.
b) I do have a reasonably respectable job, so I’d hate to be dooced* (shout-out to Heather B. Armstrong) [*dooced: to be fired for something you’ve written on your website]
c) My memory is too fuzzy to reliably report on events as they actually occurred. I’m not talking about fuzzy from years of hallucinogen abuse – I mean just plain human nature. Go ask your brothers and sisters about the time Aunt Ruth fell into the Christmas tree while dancing with her cocker spaniel and see if everyone tells the exact same story. So I’d prefer to label this as fiction and get credit for portraying some of my life stories fairly well – rather than label this as memoir and get nailed for inaccuracies. Damn you, Inaccuracy Police!
d) Some personal blogs are told in chronological order, but I wanted the freedom to jump around in time to write about whatever struck me as funny or infuriating. So Darcy is perennially single and Della is married with kids (whose ages also tend to jump around!) Damn you, Chronology Police!
e) And besides — “Some things iz jest plain funnier when ya make ‘em up!” Although the majority of most of the stories actually happened, I get to add a couple funny details that should have happened! So what’s true and what’s fiction? Let the debate begin!
4) Hey! I’m your friend/relative/coworker/neighbor and I think I just recognized something funny I said or did in one of your stories! If I was the inspiration for that story’s character, will you tell me?
Yes. Yes, I will.
5) Will you also share with me any financial riches that you might gain from the sale or publication of that story?
No. No, I won’t.
6) If I remind you of a funny incident we shared, will you write a story about it?
Sure, send me the info.
7) If I remind you of a funny but MORTIFYING incident we shared, will you promise NOT to write a story about it?
Sure, send me $5,000 in small, unmarked bills.
8) Will you allow Hollywood to bastardize your blog for financial gain?
Hell, yeah. Bring it on. I will readily sell the rights to my blog for novels, movies, animated shows, pop-up books, and cheap plastic fast food merchandise toys produced in illegal sweatshops.
9) Who will play you in the major motion picture of your blog?
I get asked this all the time. Some have suggested Claudette Colbert, but I understand there may be a scheduling conflict with her availability. I will happily take suggestions from the readers.
