So then…I capture your attention to make a crucial Public Service Announcement.
When you become a person of a certain age, and you think you might need to pee…
Go pee. Go pee right that moment.
Don’t hold it.
Don’t think, “Oh, I have time. This is just the initial tingling. My bladder’s a sturdy beast. I’ve waited much longer before I’ve really needed to go.”
And whatever you do, don’t drink more liquid while pleasantly biding your time.
Just find a restroom right away.
And take care of yo’ bidness.
At the first inkling you think you need to go, just go.
Do not wait.
Because you may not make it.
Take my word for it.
Just never you mind how I know.
I just know.
It doesn’t matter how I know.
Omigod, why are you so obsessed with me?
It’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Just trust me.
— Darcy Perdu
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(Look, it doesn’t MATTER if I’m talking about a toddler or someone my current age. Why is that important? The advice still stands. This may not even be ABOUT me. Just mind your own beeswax. So stop asking. Shut up. No, YOU shut up.)
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