Is My Coworker ACTUALLY a Robot? You Decide

I SWEAR This Guy in My Office is a Robot - Do You Agree? #funny #office #robot #humor

So then…Lou (our Finance VP), Henry (our Operations VP), and I approach the gate just in time to hear that our connecting flight home is delayed 30 minutes.

My face crumples in frustration.

Lou’s face twitches in aggravation.

Henry’s face is expressionless because he is a robot.

No, seriously, I have long suspected Henry is not actually human. Always punctual. Never goofs around. Follows all the rules. Never shows emotion. Always approaches problems logically.

Totally serious and buttoned-up. I’m pretty sure he has an Iphone app to schedule his poops.

When the Sales & Marketing crew and I are hootin’ and hollerin’ and carryin’ on, Henry steadfastly ignores us and quietly does his work.

When Lou’s Finance team is stressin’ and sweatin’ over the budget numbers, Henry methodically completes his tasks.

When the salty sailors among us spout profanity at missed shipments or demanding clients, Henry piously looks away to continue his duties.

When we take a longer lunch to celebrate a huge purchase order, Henry remains in his office, writing another Policy & Procedure (most likely regarding maximum time allowed for celebratory lunch breaks.)

He is robot or he is Vulcan. I swear by it.

So now the 3 of us have 30 minutes to indulge in WHATEVER WE WANT — so we quickly scatter, agreeing to meet back at a central table in the food court.

After 2 boring days at the corporate conference and several hours on the first flight, I know what I’d LIKE to do – but I can’t locate any hot pilots in an empty travel lounge –

So I settle for second best – the ice cream kiosk. Come to mama, you sweet, creamy bowl of devilish deliciousness!

I plop down at the table with my over-the-top hot fudge sundae just as Finance Lou approaches with his little luxury – a stiff drink. A double, no less!

As I inhale my sugary carbs and Lou savors his liquor, I can only imagine what constitutes a “guilty pleasure” for Henry.

And here he comes, with a roast beef sandwich with lettuce on whole wheat bread.

Well, of course.

He chooses something nutritious and appropriate.

He is a robot.

Just as I’m laughing to myself about our choices, Henry reaches down into his briefcase and pulls out…a small bottle of HOT SAUCE!

(He travels with his own bottle of HOT SAUCE?)

He slathers the spicy sauce all over his sandwich, takes a huge bite and beams — hot sauce dribbling down his chain.

Ahhh, Henry, you’ve restored my faith in your humanity.

Perhaps you are not a robot after all!

– Darcy Perdu

Laugh at all my new posts by subscribing HERE!
I LOVE SUBSCRIBERS!

(OK, quick, you’ve got 30 extra minutes at the airport – what do you do? Massage kiosk? Those weird oxygen bars? Book/magazine? Favorite food or alcohol? Horny flight attendant? Do tell!)

If you smiled -- share it!
If you LAUGHED -- share it TWICE!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge

About

Darcy Perdu shares her escapades, encounters, and blunders – and invites you to do the same!

Receive New Stories Through:
[subscribe2]
Recent Stories
Am I paranoid? Or is this guy totally messin' with me? #funny #tutor #homework #humor
So then…my son Tucker slips through the dining room door into the kitchen and whispers, “Mom, I think the tutor’s asleep.” I look up from the crockpot and whisper, “What?” We both tiptoe to the dining room door, ease it…
read more
F You're Gonna SNURKLE
So then…I snurkle – which, as everyone knows, is a cross between a snort and a chuckle. When you see why, I think you’ll snurkle too. I send this email to a colleague (let's call him "Bob"): His response: Um…OK.…
read more
F Chillin' with Martin Short
So then…we hustle inside the Paley Center in Beverly Hills for a private screening of two new fall TV shows. “Wow! Are you that well-connected in Hollywood?” Uh, no. I just happen to have a teen daughter who fell in…
read more
F When the Toddler Rats Out the Nanny
So then…David parks the minivan in the carnival parking lot, removes the key from the ignition, and pops the trunk. I unbuckle our son Tucker, age 2 and a half, then join David at the back so we can grab…
read more
F Jen Mann
So then…I’m just sittin' here, chillin’ with Jen Mann (writer of the uber-popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat and best-selling author with over 600,000 devoted fans on two Facebook pages.) What’s that you say? -- “Pics…
read more
F Vegas
So then…I pull my kid out of school for a couple days and hop a flight to Vegas for a concert of her favorite band. Yep, I’m that kind of mom. The kind that believes in the importance of school…
read more
F Well THAT'S a little personal
So then…he looks me over and asks, “Have you had sexual relations with anyone with yellow jaundice or viral hepatitis?” And I think, Omigod, do I look like someone who’s been doing that? Do I look jaundicy? “No!” I exclaim…
read more
F Most Brilliant Craft
So then…I dart around the craft table, setting out supplies in a wild-eyed frenzy. It’s Group Playdate Prep Time -- and I’m a whirling dervish setting up the kids’ activity for the 12 excitable 4-year-olds about to come crashing onto…
read more
A Triple Darcy 10.9.13 Confused Happy Surprised Purple 429
Hey, pull up a bar stool and let's swap funny stories about our embarrassing kids, exasperating coworkers, vexing relationships, and the ever-perplexing public!  This is where I share my bodacious blunders and hilarious true tales – and invite YOU to…
read more
F Scale
So then…I open an email from one of the staff, Shelly, asking if she can purchase an item on the company credit card. I click the link and see this: I email her: Yes, you can use the company card.…
read more
Sponsors I Love