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So then…I put on my car blinker, round a corner, and catch Chloe’s eye in the rear-view mirror. “What’s wrong, honey? You look worried,” I say to my 6-year-old daughter. My son Tucker, age 9, turns around from the front…
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So then…I fumble for the washcloth through bleary eyes. My head’s throbbing as I soap up my arm, my chest, my breast – hey, what is this? What’s this big black mark on my boob? I squint and bring my…
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So then…my friend Lila thrusts a glass of wine in my hand and pulls me over to a couple who are sampling appetizers in her living room. Ever the fabulous hostess, Lila says, “Darcy, these are my friends Keith and Julie. …
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So then…the kindergarteners sing the last note of “You Are My Sunshine” and the classroom erupts with applause from the parents sitting on little chairs in the back. The teacher announces, “OK, parents, that concludes our Valentine’s Day program. It’s…
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So then…she pops a Parmesan Bread Bite in her mouth and says, “I’m so mad!” I pop a couple Bites myself and ask, “Why?” “Well,” says my tween daughter Chloe, “You know how everyone talks about the ‘Freshman 15’ that…
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Sally's Baking Addiction So then…I clamber down from the kitchen stool and dejectedly place the flour and sugar on the counter. “What’s wrong?” asks my little sister, Della, age 7. I sigh with all the long-suffering frustration rattling through these…
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So then…I notice the guy in front of me keeps turning around to stare at me. Normally I don’t shy away from “unwanted male attention” – (in fact, I consider “unwanted male attention” an oxymoron) – but in this case,…
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So then…I rustle through some files looking for a document, when I stumble upon a note that I wrote to my son’s pre-school teacher back when Tucker was an "energetic" 4-year-old. Only it’s not a note. It’s a poem. And…
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So then…he raises his chopsticks to pluck sushi from the tray in the center of the conference table, but then realizes -- it is the very last piece of sushi. He quickly lowers his chopsticks and looks around the table…
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So then…the lovely and talented writer Kathy Radigan at My Dishwasher’s Possessed interviews me! An INTERVIEW? I’m all atwitter! Flustered and flummoxed! It’s my moment to shine! I’m ready for my close-up! To get a flavor for Kathy, you can…
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This is hilarious! Ellen
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted..Grief is an Independent Variable
thanks, Ellen!
Nailed it! So funny!!
thanks, Rachel :o)
Your backstage photography is exemplary Darcy! It is nice to see some attention given to the Losers. Misery loves company.
ha! yep, I’m pretty handy with my stealth backstage camera!
Hilarious! Did you stay up all night doing that?
I’m STILL up! ha!
So….I guess you watched the Oscars last night? :)
Very funny, Darcy! I was super happy Jared Leto won, and (even tho he’s not my favorite but he’s winning me over with some amazing performances lately) I was happy to see Matthew Mcaunahay (or however the hell he spells it) win. There were some amazing speeches, too.
Pretty amazing that bland pretty-boy rom-com star Mcaunahay-hay-allrightallrightallright has morphed into an “AC-TOR!” He done good!
These are so good … they feel right in sync with the vibe going. Ellen was funny and light, JLaw is always like that … lots of the celebs seemed to be having fun, which makes this perfect–and plausible!
Real Life Parenting recently posted..You Might Be an Asshat if You Think People With Food Allergies Are Ruining Your Life
I agree – It was a fun night! Loved when Ellen came out in her Good Witch costume!
Lol I felt the female category for leading role was jipped. I think Ellen had parts where she was entertaining but there was too much everyone else, I just wanted to Ellen to do more standup like she did in the opening of the ceremony. Super entertaining! :D Have a great one Darcy! -Iva
AwesomelyOZ recently posted..A New York City Quickie
Her standup is great — would have liked more of that too!
Darcy, I am so glad I stumbled upon your site via Bloppy Bloggers…This is awesome, thanks for the laughs :)
Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry recently posted..She Is 12 and I am Annoying
thanks, Lynda! glad you found me too!
Very funny stuff! Maybe one day Leo will win one. Guess he will just have to settle for having millions of dollars and beautiful women in his life for now.
Phil recently posted..Petite Abeille – a touch of Ooh La La in NYC.
Ha! I was actually thinking of posting a movie screen shot of coked-out Leo with hookers with him saying “Huh? What award?”
Oh, those are brilliant!
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Thanks, William!
Stellar. Did you stay up all night doing this? Hilarious. You win the “best things overheard in the Oscars Loser Lounge.” My particular fave? “Can I keep the teeth?”
Kelly McKenzie recently posted..March Madness 2014
Ha! Those teeth of his slayed me in the movie!
This is hilarious! It must have taken a lot of time, but you must know how to fold it or wrinkle it or bunch it together. Anyway, fantastic!
I heard Harrison Ford dripped pizza down the front of his shirt. Mistakes were made…
I was so surprised any of those celebrities who nipped, tucked, and starved themselves to fit into their Oscar outfits would even dream of eating pizza at the ceremony, for fear something would POP! Ha! Good for Harrison Ford for taking the plunge!
Loved this! Such a clever idea and so well done. However, I disagree with you on Jared Leto’s cleavage being better than Amy Adams. He looks much better as a guy, although he does make an attractive woman…
Lisa Newlin recently posted..The different types of neighbors
Jared does look better as a guy! Albeit a slightly feminine guy — but still, damn sexy!
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Cracking up! THIS is the only part of the Oscars I watched. :D
Angela McKeown Momopolize recently posted..The One Percent, Parenting Edition
Thanks, Angela! :o)
I don’t really watch movies and I certainly don’t watch the Oscars, so I don’t get much of this other than Matthew M won something? He’s fucking hoooorible?!! What did he do? He’s the Nicolas Cage of actors who aren’t Nicolas Cage! I can’t even type anymore. Okay, bye Darcy.
you’re hilarious! I love that line — “he’s the Nicolas Cage of actors who aren’t Nicolas Cage” ha!!
Hahaha I think the “you shut yo mouth” discrimination one is my favorite!
thanks — and so funny that Amy and Jared are wearing strikingly similar tops!
This was so awesome Darcy and I know you spent a lot of time on it from my own experience doing these. You knocked this one out of the park! I’m so glad for “12 Years A Slave” too :)
Thanks, Mike! It was fun to put it together!
Absolutely hilarious, well done!
thanks! :o)
Poor Leo. The man never wins. But he is a millionaire. Never mind. I don’t feel as bad for him now.
Maybe he’ll follow the “Susan Lucci Award-Winning Model” — the 19th time’s the charm!
Meanwhile he’ll have to make do with the millions and the supermodels…
How do you come up with this stuff, woman?!! RFLMAO. Seriously.
Ha! So happy you like it!
This is BRILLIANT! LOVE how well you matched the pics to the sayings. Bahahahaha!!!
thanks, Marcia! :o)